Page 30 of For the Record
I knew that, deep down. But watching her smile light up each room, knowing that she had a dark background and still carried a smile so big? I was enamored. I had tried to ignore her. I had tried to pretend my heart rate didn’t kick up like I was mid-run when I caught sight of her at the bar the first night. And then again at the record store. I should have left it alone after that. I knew her name, and I knew she was all too close to my family for us to ever be anything. But then she invited me to see her dad, to see this little sneak peek behind the scenes of what goes on in her daily life, and I couldn’t resist. I loved a good puzzle.
Dad and Crew carried on their conversation, arguing over the top two contestants of their favorite show. I stood silently, passing by them and sneaking out of the back door. I needed air and space. I choked around her, mentally and physically.
I took a seat on the white Adirondack chair off to the side, facing the lights strung across the backyard. Each time I came here, it seemed like there was something new. Started with the potted flowers, then the hot tub, and then the extension on the deck. My dad had been renovating the place in the same way Liam was doing to his own house, nonstop keeping their hands busy. Guess that was a trait all of us Wellses possessed.
A brief moment passed before the back door opened. I didn’t have to guess who it was, because the summer night wind carried her scent to me. Tangerines and clean laundry. It was how my bed had smelled for days and how my shirt had smelled after she danced with me.
I took a deep breath through my nose, focusing my vision on the ripple of water in the pool caused by the pump. Watching the tiny waves slowly bounce from one wall to the other.
Her tall sandals tapped against the wooden deck as she made her way to the chair next to me. She slowly dropped into it and shifted her dress to cover her legs.
“Your mom told me to get you for dinner.” She said it almost like a whisper.
I hummed, somewhat amused. Of course she did. Mom met a girl one time, mentally paired her with one of her sons, and heard wedding bells instantly. It wasn’t a surprise that she would handpick Rachel to come get me rather than any person from my family inside.
Part of me felt guilty sitting here, knowing I hadn’t told Rachel I was back in town. To be fair, I’d only gotten back the night before. I was going to eventually say something. We had been texting for the last month. Not always consistently, but she knew I was thinking of her, and I knew the same for her.
She shifted in her seat, her long legs facing my direction, causing me to shift as well. “Nice to know you’re back in town.”
She didn’t sound angry or upset, and not exactly surprised either. Just neutral, which somehow made this feel even more uncomfortable. I glanced up at her. She wasn’t necessarily smiling, but she looked amused, pleased with herself. Her eyes narrowed at me softly, her pink lips lifting in the corners ever so slightly.
I cleared my throat. “Got back yesterday.”
It wasn’t like I needed to apologize. We weren’t even friends. Why would I text her that I was back in town? It would have felt weird and clingy. So why did the word sorry sit on the edge of my tongue, desperately trying to make its way out?
Rachel hummed, looking from me out to the backyard. The golden glow of strung lights danced across her face. I liked that she never pushed me to talk. If anything, she probably liked that I was quiet so she could fill the room with her own conversation. Somehow it made me want to say things. Made me want to expand on more than my average less-than-five-word sentences.
“Are you upset?” I asked, forcing my hands into my pockets so as not to wring them in my lap.
She snorted an amused laugh, and my blood pressure immediately skyrocketed. This was why I didn’t do anything more. Complicated feelings that I didn’t know how to pick up on left me feeling like my brain was overwhelmed, my head too heavy on my shoulders. Why couldn’t people always say exactly how they felt? No more of this wondering bullshit. I wanted real, authentic, raw truth.
Rachel must have picked up on my confusion because her smile lowered into a softer one. “No, Adam. I’m not upset. Although in the future, it would be nice to get an update when you’re in town. Who knows? Maybe I had a surprise for you.”
“Did you?”
“No.” She smiled at me. “But I would have.”
That made me snort. I didn’t need some kind of gift for doing my job. You wouldn’t bring a surprise to people working at the DMV, so why do it for me?
“Don’t do that,” I mumbled.
Her head cocked to the side as she lifted her hand, bringing one of her braids down to twirl it between her fingers. “Why? We’re friends, right?”
“No.” My response was sharp. But the last thing I wanted to be was friends with this woman in front of me. I didn’t have friends. I most certainly didn’t sleep with them and let them run through my head for weeks after.
“Are you sure?” She squinted at me. “I feel like we’re friends.”
I dropped my eyes to her white fingernails twirling her braid, my thoughts racing with the need to pick up that hand and hold it. To pull her to me and remind her of how I kissed her, how she felt underneath me. How pretty she was, how it felt like holding a tulip. Like I was scared to move one way or the other, worried it would break in my fingers.
I croaked out, “We’re not.”
“You met my dad. Not even all my bestest friends have done that.”
Crap. That only made this worse. I didn’t have time for more. Neither did she. She’d made it as clear as I had. As far as visiting her dad, I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but a young and healthy vet threatening to hunt me down if I ever hurt his daughter wasn’t exactly it. I liked the guy. He was brutally honest, but he held that same light that Rachel carried around with her. I hated for him to get the wrong idea and go assuming that she and I would ever be anything.
“Well, I don’t really do friends.”
She sighed with a shrug and stood from her chair. “Seems to me like you don’t do just friends.”