Page 67 of For the Record
I smiled to myself. “I’m in here!” I called from my designated floor spot.
Adam didn’t answer, but I could hear his slow steps approaching around the corner. He met my eyes, no slight pull of his lips, no quick walk to squeeze me. He didn’t look upset or distraught, more so…distant. Like he hadn’t slept well the night before.
“What’s up?” I leaned my head back, grinning wide-eyed his way.
He stayed silent, eyes focused on the album cover in my lap.
“Uh-oh. The circus called. They want their lion tamer back,” I joked, but he didn’t even flinch. Just kept staring.
“Adam? You’re freaking me out.”
“I, um—” He cleared his throat and shook his head, taking a couple of steps toward me before settling on the chair off to the side. Not to his normal spot next to me on the recliner. He usually liked to sit behind me while I stayed on the floor. His fingers would brush through my hair, playing with the ends like a curious child. It almost always ended up with me falling asleep, head leaned against his spread muscled thighs.
His eyes lifted to mine, and there was something unspoken in them. Something that, by the droop of his shoulders and the corners of his lips pulling down, I wasn’t ready to hear. I lifted my head up and tilted it to the side before he said the worst sentence I could have prepared myself for.
“I have to leave early for Hurlburt Field.”
Hurlburt Field…as in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. As in he was leaving me early to go back to his job full of saving lives and constantly tossing himself into danger.
I blinked a few times and scrunched my eyebrows together. No. No, no, no. I still had three more weeks before he had to go back. We were supposed to keep training for the race. We still had to practice swimming. We still had things to finish on the bucket list. I was supposed to stay in this euphoric bliss for at least another three weeks.
“Oh.” I sank into my seat as the “Don’t Dream It’s Over” began. I was too shocked to notice the irony. “Like…leave leave?”
He nodded solemnly. “They called me in early. One of the other guys got injured on the job, and they needed someone to cover. I’m the only one left on call.”
It wasn’t his fault. I knew that. But that didn’t stop my heart from wanting to beg him to stay. Beg him to tell them no and to find some other job, find a career that meant we could wake up to coffee each morning and fall asleep on the couch each evening since neither of us wanted to be the first to say good night.
My jaw ticked. “So, so you’re just going to leave me here? To go run off to Florida with the alligators and tan women in teeny tiny bikinis? Where you’ll be wearing your hot uniform, and I’ll be up here alone, running by myself with no one to make pasta for?”
His lip pulled a bit as he shifted forward, leaning over his bouncing knee. “I guess? Although I will avoid women in bikinis and alligators as much as I can.”
I scoffed. Women were going to flock to him. He was a walking magnet. Even though he proudly wore my ring, that wouldn’t deter some of those women. My face scrunched.
Adam sighed. “Please don’t be mad at me, Stevie.”
Mad wasn’t the word for it. How could I be mad at a man who’d sacrificed so much for me and my dad? It was just…wrong to hear him say he had to leave. I wasn’t meant to handle that part on my own. I was supposed to have a month to prepare for his departure and be able to dissociate myself in a mature manner. But I was far from dissociated. I was…associated? I didn’t know the word for it, but we were there, and I didn’t have time to turn back. I was far too gone for this man for him to up and leave.
I sniffed and slumped back in my chair. “I just really, really don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t either. I really, really don’t.” He leaned forward, ducking his head so he could catch my eyes. “Most times, I’m not exactly excited to go out, but this time…This time feels harder. To leave.”
This time was different. The last time he was in Florida, for one, I was mad at him, and two, we weren’t…anything. Not really, anyway. Not like this. Before Vegas, it was never like this between us, so easy and natural. Fun, flirty, and yet…purposeful. Meaningful in the way that everything he did, he did with me in mind. Everything I did seemed to revolve around him. We were finding this new groove, or rhythm, or whatever you wanted to call it, and it was perfect. It was finally working for our good, and the cycle was going to break when he left. How hard was it going to be to get it back when he came home?
“C’mere.” He opened his arms, and I gladly walked into them.
He cradled me into his chest and wrapped one arm under my knees, bending them into his lap as his other arm rested on my back with slow, smooth strokes of his hand. I rested my head just under his chin, my shaky breath against his collarbone.
“When do you leave?”
His hands stopped. “Saturday.”
Two days. I only had two full days with him like this.
I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t much to say. It wasn’t like he was leaving forever. I knew that. The other trips he took had flown by, and who knows? He may be sent home earlier than those last ones. There was no way for me to know, so it made sense for us to flip this switch and enjoy the time we still had left. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to sulk. I wanted to sit in Adam’s strong arms all night and never let him out of this chair.
My brain started rattling off all the things I was going to miss about him. His scent in the mornings, our chats over coffee, falling asleep on the couch together with our legs intertwined, taking pictures and putting them on the fridge, even running. Running…Was he going to miss the race?
I sat up from his chest alarmingly fast. His eyes widened at me. “When are you coming ba—”