Page 44 of 21 Years of Jane

“I don’t think she should do something she thinks I want or need, or whatever,” he answered.

“That was a lot of thinking going on there guys,” I joked.

“This is very serious, Jane,” Dr. Bright said. “I’m going to perform a small battery of tests on you. I’m going to need you to be honest with me about the pain level, if there is any. I won’t know if I can tell you to go ahead with this if you aren’t honest.”

I nodded.

Dr. Bright came over and put his hands on my stomach.

“Ready?” he asked me.

I nodded again and he gently pushed down. It didn’t hurt, so I shook my head. He moved his hands down further, to my lower stomach and pressed down again. While it was a bit uncomfortable, it wasn’t pain worthy of mention.

I shook my head again.

Next he moved his hand to my right thigh and watched my face carefully as he pushed down. I winced a little and held up three fingers. He nodded and went to make a note on his clipboard.

He came back and went to the left side of the bed. I instinctively reached out for Nolan’s hand.

That was the “bad” side.

The infected ‘femur of septic death’ side.

“Are you ready?” Dr. Bright asked softly.

I closed my eyes and nodded.

He pushed down. The lights exploded illuminating the darkness I had just submerged myself into and I squeezed the ever-loving shit out of Nolan’s hand.

Dr. Bright moved his hands away and sighed. But there was something he was aware of. Even though that hurt—a lot, it wasn’t as bad as it usually was.

“Jane?” he prompted. “I need a number.”

I took a couple of quick breaths and let go of Nolan’s hand. I held up five fingers on that hand and three on the other.

“An eight? Are you sure?” he asked me in surprise.

“Yeah,” I replied, breathing shakily. “It didn’t hurt as bad as it did the last time you did it, when we were here.”

Dr. Bright made a couple of additional notes in my file, which he had under the clipboard, before turning back to us.

“Jane, you’re a virgin, correct?” he asked. I nodded. “And you, Nolan?”

I turned my face and closed my eyes. I didn’t want his answer to destroy my fantasy world.

“Yes,” he said rather loudly.

I whipped my head to look at him in surprise.

He laughed, “Parallel universe intact?”

“Only if you’re telling the truth,” I said, narrowing my eyes.

“It’s the truth,” he said shyly.

“Guys? You can discuss this later. The reason I asked is because I need to explain something to you about why I don’t feel comfortable saying yes to this. One moment, please,” he said, getting up and leaving the room.

I looked at the ceiling trying to think of what he could say that would justify telling us that we’d never be able to physically love each other.