Page 34 of Impossible Rapids

He laughed shortly at that. “No, I’m not. Do you even read the media’s comments about me? Cold, standoffish, uncaring, not deserving of Mercedes.”

“They’re wrong. You’re not cold.” She wrapped her palm around the back of his hand and startled both of them.

The plane soared over the ocean and her heart soared with even the simplest connection to him.

Shawn glanced down at her smaller hand on top of his. He met her gaze and then slowly, deliberately, he turned his hand over. Their palms aligned and her stomach filled with butterflies. Shawn threaded their fingers together and her pulse took off. He rested their clasped hands on his muscular thigh and she feared she would have a heart attack.

“See?” she managed, completely out of breath. “Not cold. Not at all.”

“Jules.” His voice was gravelly and his blue eyes full of her. “I’m only warm with you.”

Did he mean that?

“You were warm with Mercedes,” she felt duty bound to her friend to remind him. “And everybody could see how deeply you cared for her.”

He drew in a slow breath, looking over his shoulder at Hays and the three other security guys. None of them glanced their way. Two of the men had earbuds in, looking at screens, and Paul and Hays had their eyes closed.

“It was different with Mercedes,” he said softly. His eyes were trying to convey something to her. Of course it was different with Mercedes. They’d loved each other for years. They’d been married. They’d been intimate.

She gulped and almost pulled her hand away, but instead she whispered, “Different how?”

Shawn moistened his lips, and she could swear he leaned closer. “We didn’t have the intense?—”

Hays snorted in his sleep.

They both startled.

“Oh, Hays,” Julie said affectionately, glancing over her shoulder at him. “He’s incredible, isn’t he?”

“Is he?” Shawn’s voice was a little cooler. He released her hand, straightening and leaning back against his headrest.

“You think so too,” she said, studying him and hating the loss of his touch. What had he been about to tell her? He and Mercedes didn’t have intense … what? She couldn’t plug a word in there that made sense. What was different about the warmth he had with Julie? She didn’t want to push him too hard—he’d only lost his wife a month and a half ago—but she wanted to know what he was thinking, what he’d almost said.

“I do,” Shawn admitted.

The pilot announced they were going to descend, and the moment was completely gone.

Chapter

Nine

Shawn kicked himself for losing out on a moment with Julie, but it was probably for the best. She seemed interested in Hays. Had Hays snored on purpose? He doubted it. The shrewd Lawyer Wallace would pull something like that, but their friend was as genuine as anybody Shawn knew. He should be pushing Julie and Hays together. He was supposed to be an intensely grieving widower, not a man who’d lost his best friend and was longing for her best friend, potentially putting a target on Julie’s back to match his own.

They met up with Cash and Brylee at the launch spot for the rafts near the small town of Buena Vista, Colorado. It was great to see them both again. They were happy and in love. Shawn was grateful they’d forgiven him for playing the villain for their show. Cash and Brylee had both reminded him that he’d also been instrumental in saving Cash’s life. That was kind of them. He was also grateful that Cash kept getting great results from his ‘miracle cancer pill’ and the countdown timer on his life seemed to not get any shorter. Miraculous for sure.

The usual hoopla surrounding the show’s introduction was done by Brylee and Cash. The items ticked through in his mind as he tried not to glance too often at Julie—the rafting adventure was five days, they’d wear headcams on the raft, there were cameras set up for them at camp, they’d have the river to themselves. Cash explained to the cameras that was because it was early for the savvy rafting adventurers to be on this cold water, around forty-five degrees. Shawn knew it was because they’d booked out all the raft tour companies who used this stretch of the Arkansas River. A random group could show up, but he doubted they would. The outside air highs could reach mid-seventies, but it would be chilly, especially at night. They’d have to wear full wetsuits, special boots, and even insulated rain jackets. The river was running high this year, making it more dangerous. Shawn liked the challenge, but he wanted to make certain Julie was safe.

It was unnerving to be on the other end as a participant, even more so to be opposite of Julie. He was excited for the adventure on the river, the change of pace from the high stress of business meetings and worrying about Mercedes the past year, and the opportunity to be close to Julie, even if he couldn’t act on it.

He knew Mercedes and Julie had tried to matchmake each of the couples for the show. Their success rate as fairy matchmakers was high. Only Jagger had disrupted the flow and stolen Belinda from Lieutenant Paul Braven last week. He glanced at Paul, grateful the tough, smart, and experienced pilot was one of their guards for the week. Paul hadn’t appeared upset that Jagger had gotten the girl. What was his story? Did he have a girlfriend already?

What if Hays stole the girl on this week’s show? His stomach sank. Hays smiled at him, and he tried to return it. They’d been close friends for fourteen years. When Grayson had chosen the Army and a path to the Green Beret, Shawn couldn’t let go of his love of water and dreams of being a SEAL. They’d split ways for the first time since they’d met at eleven. Hays and Jagger had been there for Shawn.

What was wrong with him, getting so jealous over a woman he couldn’t have? She had every right to be interested in their incredible friend.

Julie shifted next to him and their arms brushed. Electric sparks seemed to brighten the already bright late-May Colorado morning. She pressed even closer, and he could smell lilac. He closed his eyes to savor the moment, forgetting he was being recorded. Could he sneak into Julie’s tent tonight and finish what he had tried to tell her on the plane? The intense feelings and warmth he had for Julie were special, and he’d never felt them with anyone else.

Maybe it wasn’t time yet to reveal to her that his and Mercedes’s marriage was in name only, but he could tell her that he’d never had the feelings for Mercedes that he had for her. Or could he? Julie might be shocked at his bold words. She might be angry and defensive, thinking he should’ve felt intense feelings for his wife and her friend. Or she might be ecstatic, throw her arms around his neck, and kiss him. His nerve endings lit up in anticipation.