Page 50 of To Tame An Angel

“No.”

I watched as she pressed a kiss to my knuckles and opened my palms. They’re bloodied, and I realized I dug right into my skin when she entered me. She softly cleaned me with one of her ointments and I’d never felt such peace and tranquility. The detail she takes just to make sure I’m healed. My heart skipped when a hair fell over her forehead. When she applied the lotion, she blew on the cuts and nuzzled my hand.

When she looked up at me, my heart was filled with so much that I touched her chin. Nothing else in her world mattered at this moment but me, and I’d never been the center of anyone’s gravity. Like I was vital. I’ve never been fretted upon or tended to or simply cared for. When I was a boy, my mother never wished to hold me. I’d buried that rejection deep in my past.

But Nalla was the opposite. Her hands and her kisses sparked a desire in me to be held. To feel skin against skin and be nurtured.

“You’re lovely,” I whispered.

A pink flush filled her brown cheeks. Gods, she’s stunning.

“You can’t be giving me compliments or I’m going to think you care,” she murmured.

Care. Care? I’d fight the world for her if they dared harm her. She was the center of the universe. She moved to my other hand to cleanse it and watching her made me think back to the beginning. To that moment when I first saw her, like a goddess in a white dress, walking amongst morals. Little did I know then that I had watched my salvation.

“Why did you choose me?” I asked.

She paused and looked up at me. “Why did you wish me to choose you? You wouldn’t have looked at me if you didn’t.”

I was embarrassed by the truth because I didn’t wish to hurt her or showcase what a desperate, ignorant fool. She saw my hesitation and threaded her fingers with mine.

“I wished to run away. You looked small, and I thought…” my words drifted off.

Nalla instantly deflated, and I realized I hurt her. She quickly pressed a bandage into my hand and moved sharply.

“Nalla,” I said.

She looked up at me as she put away her little tool kit. “I understand. I suppose compared to my mother and sisters I don’t intimidate much.”

Pulling her to me, I ran my hands up her back and enjoyed the feel of our naked flesh pressed together. With our faces so close, I could see the sprinkling of freckles peppered on her nose. Her eyes were so wide and brown that I wished to settle my house right in their depths.

“I thought belonging to a woman would be much like being owned in the pit,” I said in a low voice. I’m almost hesitant to provide her with so much. The nakedness is more than skin-deep.

I caressed her arms, loving how she was draped over my chest. This is warm and comfortable and intimate. Far more intimate than anything we’ve experienced, even in the heightened frenzy of passion.

“In the pit, no matter how hurt you are, there’s nothing like this,” I whispered.

She watched me, as if she was afraid to say anything. I played with her hair and studied the texture of her curls.

“Like you actually care for me,” I said. “Even if it’s a game for you, a role you play. I like it. I enjoy believing it.”

“It’s not–”

But it was a role, and I shook my head. She would take other lovers, even if she didn’t wish it, and this thing between us would one day be nothing more than a memory.

“Nalla,” I said tiredly.

“It’s not!” She pushed herself off my chest, her tone raising. Hurt and pain are painted over her face. Like my words harmed her. I felt a sudden incredible guilt.

She looked away, pressing her hands against her cheeks. “They say mother loved my father deeply. He was her first, and they were faithful to one another until I was born. She doesn’t speak about him or what happened to him.”

Nalla uncapped another one of her ointments.

“My sisters claimed he would hold them when they were children, play with them, but I have no memory of it.” She sighed. “But if my mother allowed them to be held by her angel, then it means they were truly together.”

She looked at me shyly. It’s such a change from when she’s over me commanding me, that I become enamored with her layers. I loved both sides of her personality. Her lack of concern over being one thing over the other.

Nalla tapped my knee, and I bent it. “I need to put this on you. I cut you a little last night. No more ass play for a while so you can heal properly.”