Page 72 of Psycho Sinners

24

SCARLET

The feeling of my heart being ripped from my chest, a pain so raw and consuming that it felt as though my very soul was being shredded was something I'd never hoped to experience. The walls of that dingy room seemed to close in on me as I watched, helpless, as the man who'd defiled me in more ways than one, loomed over the makeshift cradle, his face twisted with the same cruelty that he'd brought upon me countless times. The cradle, a basket on a handled desk chair, firmly in place with a belt, was all I could put together for the sweet little baby huddled in the blankets within.

My baby girl, just a week old, let out a feeble wail, her tiny fists clenching as if she knew something was terribly wrong. I had named her Lily, for the flowers that bloomed in the face of adversity, a symbol of hope and resilience. Maybe it was my angsty teen heart and love of poetry, but it had suited the little girl I'd birthed at barely seventeen years of age. We were both prisoners here, but she was my light now, my reason to keep going on, to hope for escape when I had the chance. The one thing that kept me strong as soon as I'd learned I was pregnant.

Too bad there was no hope in this room, only the suffocating weight of despair.

He was yelling at me, his words a vicious torrent of hatred and accusation. "You're worthless!" he screamed, his spittle flying as he ranted about my unwillingness to submit to his vile demands. "You're nothing, just a stupid girl with nothing! What do you mean you're still recovering? You never should have had that damn thing in the first place!" He scowled down at my baby—our baby—like she was nothing but an object in his way.

My voice cracked as I begged and pleaded for mercy, but he shoved me aside.

I lunged at him, my body fueled by a desperate love that transcended fear. But he was stronger, his fist a brutal force that sent me sprawling, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my head struck the edge of the wooden dresser.

Lily's cries grew louder, a piercing wail that tore through the room as I lay beaten and broken on the floor. I reached out for her, my fingers grasping at the emptiness between us, but it was futile.

My vision swam, but through the haze, I could see the pillow in his hands, muffling my daughter's cries until they were nothing more than a heart-wrenching silence.

I screamed until my voice was hoarse, a primal sound that echoed off the walls. But it was useless. My body was broken, my spirit shattered, and I lay there, on the cold, hard floor, the silence deafening.

The man turned away from the cradle, his eyes devoid of any semblance of humanity. He looked at me with contempt, a predator done with his prey. "You're both better off dead," he sneered, before stepping over my crumpled form and walking out the door, leaving me alone with the silence that was once my daughter's life.

I shot awake, gasping in ragged breaths as the scene danced behind my eyes like a sadistic movie. The memories of that day clawed at my sanity like a caged animal desperate for escape, the memory haunting me from the shadows of my mind, reminding me of the moment my world shattered, something I tried to block out, to run from.

It was the day a part of me died, the day the fabric of my being was torn apart, never to be fully mended. But it was also the day I learned the true meaning of survival, the day I vowed to never be a victim again.

And yet here I was, a prisoner in a gilded cage.

I'd run from the man who had destroyed my world, and I'd never looked back. I'd taken my mother's maiden name and disappeared, fleeing my past with Naomi, the pair of us seeking new lives, free from the hells we'd endured. But out running that kind of pain that split your world in two; it wasn't possible.

I stilled as I realized someone was stroking my hair as I lay curled up, the warmth of their lap beneath my head.

I let out a shaky breath and looked up at Julian, who frowned down at me with a perplexed, oddly soft look. My heart raced as I tried to steady my breathing, the nightmare still fresh and haunting as those dark eyes scanned my face.

"What was your nightmare about?" he asked, his brow furrowed as he continued to stroke my hair in such a strange, tender way. As if we weren't captor and captive.

I shook my head, unable to find my voice. The last thing I wanted was to recount that horrific memory, to give life to that god awful memory that plagued the darkest corners of my mind. "I don't want to talk about it," I finally managed, my voice barely above a whisper.

Julian's jaw ticked as he studied me intently. "Tell me," he stated firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

I arched up at his commanding tone, sitting upright and moving away from his lap. "Is that another order?"

He shook his head and rose from the couch, scooping up Kenny with a heavy sigh. "I want some dessert," he said flatly, heading for the door without another word.

I went numb as I stared at the floor, the nightmare replaying in my mind like a horrid reminder of the cruelty men were capable of. Lily's horrific cries were burned into my mind as she fought for her life, her tiny form no match for that wicked man. Tears threatened to sting my eyes, but I swallowed, keeping them at bay. I'd cried for her more times than I could count, and it was of no use. It wouldn't bring her back, it wouldn't change a damn thing.

Julian's voice broke through my daze. "You coming?"

I frowned up at him as he fastened Kenny's harness.

"I'm allowed to leave?" I asked, confused by the unexpected offer.

"Not really, not unsupervised," he clarified. "Try anything, and you won't get the chance to leave again. I want ice cream, and I'm worried you might try to hurt yourself if I leave you, so you're coming."

I softened a little at his words, realizing he was trying to do something nice in his own gruff way, without openly admitting it. "Okay," I agreed with a small nod as I rose from the couch and headed over.

"Good." Julian gave a curt nod before yanking off his sweater and tossing it at me. "Here, it's cold out. Wear a sweater."