Page 12 of Lesbian CEO

“She’s a crisis PR person. She’ll know what to do.”

5

Toni

I’ve dreamed of seeing Jessica again many times. I’ve thought about her long, dark hair that she wears back in a bun. I’ve thought about taking it down and running my fingers through it, loosening her curls so I can play with them. I’ve thought about what it would feel like to have the chance to kiss her again. I’d start at the nape of her neck. She loves being kissed there. It’s her favorite.

But out of all of my fantasies and all of the moments I have imagined sharing with her again, I never thought I’d be staring at her in the middle of a conference room on a hot Wednesday in the summer.

Here I am, though.

Sitting.

I clear my throat, but I don’t say anything. Neither does she. I want to ask if she missed me. I’m self-conscious about my dark red hair. It’s shorter than it used to be. I know she liked my hair long. She used to compliment me on it all of the time, but after the breakup, I chopped it all off and haven’t looked back.

Jessica doesn’t shy away from eye contact. She’s never been one to be nervous about just looking at me. I try not to think about all of the times she stripped me bare and just stared at my body. I never felt used. I never felt uncomfortable. I always felt adored. Cared for. Protected.

She was always so damn gentle with me.

Now, her stare is different. She’s trying to figure out why we’re both here, but we know why. We’re both concerned about the futures of our companies, and we’re both here because someone decided to verbalize one of my biggest fears: Jessica has come to destroy my company and there’s nothing I can do about it. At least, that’s what the person Tweeting about our organizations would have us believe. We’re here in this room because we’ve hired a public relationships professional who might be the only person who can help us navigate the murky waters we’re finding ourselves in.

“I can’t believe it’s come to this,” she snaps.

“You shouldn’t have posted something online, then.”

“Cute. You really think you can shift the blame to me?” She frowns at me like she thinks I’m trying to play her. I’m not. She’s also staring at me like she really believes I’m the one who caused all of this.

Could we both have it all wrong?

“You’re really good at playing the blame game, Toni,” Jessica snarls. That’s all it takes. I completely lose control and snap right on back at her.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but you should have just stayed out of it. It’s bad enough that you destroyed my life.”

Shit.

I shouldn’t have said that.

She didn’t. Not really. She only destroyed what I let her, and I promised myself I wouldn’t let her take everything from me. Not really.

The truth is that my life is my own. I have agency. I always have. And more importantly, it’s not exactly her job to keep me feeling normal and fine. It’s her job to make sure that she runs her business and takes care of her life in the best way she can. She’s not responsible for my feelings.

But she did hurt me.

And she’s still hurting me.