Page 23 of What We Hide

He pushed back from the desk. “You’re right. The time crunch will be better when this trial is over.” She didn’t have to tell him he always said that, and his workload got heavier, not lighter. He kissed her goodbye and went to get Ella.

He plopped her in front of a TV and turned on Moana, her favorite movie. Marley jumped on the sofa with her. Hez shot a glance back as he left the room. Ella was already entranced by the opening scenes, leaning back into the sofa cushions with her chubby little legs splayed out in front of her. He smiled at how cute she was and glanced at his watch. She loved this part, and he could do fifteen minutes on the brief.

Hez went back to his home office and left the door ajar—enough so he’d hear what was going on, but the movie wouldn’t distract him. He soon lost himself in the brief, honing his argument that the other side had misinterpreted a key statute. If he could just convince the judge on this point, everything else would fall into place. It was a nuanced issue, so he needed to word this section exactly right.

Marley’s barking broke into his thoughts, but Hez ignored it. The puppy barked whenever he saw a squirrel, FedEx dropped off a package, or someone turned on a leaf blower anywhere in a three-block radius. He even barked when the wind blew.

Wait, the barking was coming from outside. Hadn’t he left Marley on the sofa beside Ella? He sighed. He’d better investigate.

He walked past the room where he’d left his daughter and dog and glanced in. The movie was still playing, but the sofa was empty.

“Ella?”

No answer.

“Ella?” he called in a louder voice as he walked down the hall.

Still no answer.

The first little wave of fear rippled through him. “Ella!”

He heard a sound and jogged toward it. He found Marley in the family room, standing just inside the sliding door. It was open. Ella had just learned how to open it.

Hez ran outside. What he saw would be seared into his memory for the rest of his life: the flagstone path leading out to the pool, the white Adirondack chairs Savannah loved, and the little table between them holding her mug and a package of Justin’s peanut butter cups—Ella’s favorite candy.

And in the pool itself, Ella floated face down. Her golden hair spread out around her little head like a halo.

Hez jumped in and frantically started CPR, but he knew it was too late as soon as he saw her face. Her blue eyes stared at him, glassy and empty.

The rest of the day had been a blur. Scattered memories cut through him like glass shards—the sirens, the EMTs, Savannah’s screams when she came home, the grocery bags she dropped on the kitchen floor. The only thing he clearly remembered was fighting over the candy. He yelled at Savannah for leaving it where Ella could see it from inside, and she yelled back that he must have done it. It was the first skirmish in his losing war against guilt.

“Mr. Webster,” a vaguely familiar voice said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Hez looked around and saw a wizened little man looking up at him. It took a second to place him. Hinkle, that was it. Charlie Hinkle. “Oh, hi, Professor Hinkle.”

“I just wanted to let you know I checked them out.”

Hez blinked. “Checked out . . . what?”

“The pieces for my book. The ones you and Savannah came to see me about.”

“Oh, uh, yes. Thank you.”

Hinkle’s gaze went to Hez’s cart. “Oh, the Mondavi cabernet. Is it good with beef? We’re having a couple of old friends over for dinner and . . .”

But Hez wasn’t listening. He was staring down into his shopping cart. Two bottles of wine were in it. He had no memory of putting them in, but he’d been on autopilot ever since he walked into the store. And apparently this was what he still did on autopilot.

“I’m sorry,” he said, interrupting Hinkle. “I have to go.” And Hez walked out of the store, leaving his cart and the startled professor behind.

He went straight to his condo, where he grabbed his phone from its charger and called Jimmy.

Jimmy picked up on the first ring. “Hi, Hez. You okay?”

“No. No, I’m not.” Hez recounted everything that had happened since he walked into the cemetery.

Jimmy whistled. “Man, that’s rough. Wow. When was the last time you prayed the Serenity Prayer?”

“The last time we were at a meeting together.”