Page 25 of Keeping Caroline
“It’s okay,” I reassured her, my voice soft but steady. “I’ve made my peace with it over the years. But the absence of family, of roots…it leaves a void that nothing else can fill.”
Caroline nodded, her head resting on my chest. “Ethan and I lost our parents the same way…the same way I lost Daniel. My brother and I were teens too—him sixteen and me eighteen.” Taking a sip of her wine, she continued, “From that moment on, it was just…us. Overnight, I had to figure out how to keep him out of trouble, how to be strong for the both of us, but it wasn’t easy.” A laugh huffed from her mouth as she shook her head. “No matter what I did, he always seemed to find trouble. I was still a kid myself, trying to navigate a world that seemed so much darker without them.”
In a world filled with families —people who had others to depend on—I understood what it was like to live without that. I understood her.
Pulling her closer, I kissed her on the cheek, my heart aching for the pain she’d endured, and for how many inadequacies she seemed to see in herself when all I saw was strength and resilience. “You stood up for your brother and took the place of a parent when you still needed them yourself. Be proud of yourself for all you did, because I know your brother is, and I’m sure your parents would be too.”
Although I felt her nod against my chest, I knew there was still a part of her that would never give herself the slack she deserved, and that broke my heart. “Life hasn’t been easy for either of us, but somehow, we found each other in all this darkness. Maybe that’s what makes this connection between us so special…because we understand each other’s pain.”
Chapter 16
The Phoenix
The warmth of the fire seeped into my skin as I nestled against Tristan’s chest, the slow beat of his heart soothing my troubled mind. An open bottle of red wine sat between us, half-empty, along with an assortment of snacks we’d been picking through.
“I still worry about Evie’s health,” I admitted as I watched the flickering flames, hating hearing the words aloud. “Every day, I wake up afraid her cancer might have returned.”
Tristan pressed a tender kiss to my hair, his arms tightening around me. “She’s been in remission for a while now. Her prognosis looks good, right?”
Taking another sip of wine, I sighed but nodded. The memory of Evie’s pallid face and frail body during her time in the hospital still haunted my dreams. “Yes. But I’m her mommy, I’ll always worry. What if I can’t protect her from this? What if I fail her?”
“That’s only natural.” His fingers traced slow circles over my back, making me want to curl around him like a cat. “You’ve been through so much. It’s understandable you’d feel anxious.”
His empathy only made my eyes burn with tears I refused to shed. Even knowing my history, he still wanted me, but that didn’t change how much of a burden I felt. He was young, and deserved someone with less baggage, but even thinking that sent a throbbing pain straight through my chest. Staring into the fire, a million thoughts and emotions swirled through my mind, and none of them wanted to let whatever this was between us go.
“Thank you,” I whispered, leaning closer against his side. “For being here. For caring about me, scars, and all.”
He pressed his lips against my temple, his breath warm against my skin. “Every part of you is beautiful and precious to me. Scars and all.”
His words melted the remaining chill in my heart, filling it with warmth. Turning toward him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his lips to mine. An intense mix of longing and bittersweet desire pulsed through me as our mouths connected. His lips were soft like velvet, tender and demanding at the same time, and I matched his passion eagerly. The kiss tasted of wine and the smoky warmth of the fireplace, a heady blend that intoxicated me more than the wine flowing through my system.
The kiss intensified, our bodies instinctively drawing closer, seeking the warmth of skin on skin. His hands roamed over my curves as though he was memorizing the landscape of my form, leaving shivers in the wake of his touch. My fingers tangled in his hair, tugging slightly, making him hiss.
Wrapping his arm around me, Tristan laid me back onto the rug. I went willingly, craving his touch. His body pressed into mine, hard muscle, and soft warmth. My hands slipped around him, splaying across his toned back.
So much loss. So much pain. In Tristan’s embrace, those sharp edges dulled. The empty spaces inside filled. Three years of grief seemed to fade into the shadows as passion lit a new flame.
“You’re so soft,” Tristan whispered, his lips trailing down my neck. Pleasure sparked under his touch, chasing away the darkness.
A low moan escaped me as he found the edge of my nightshirt, slipping beneath the fabric. Trailing his hands up my ribcage, his fingers brushed the underside of my breast. I arched into his touch, wanting him higher.
“I want this,” he said, voice rough with desire. “I want you.”
Palming the back of his head, I brought his mouth to mine, whispering against his lips, “Then take me.”
With my invitation the last of his restraint shattered, and he pulled my shirt over my head, discarding the fabric to the side. I lay bare from the waist up before him on the rug, heart pounding as his gaze roamed over my body, but there was no judgment in his eyes, only heat, and something else I couldn’t decipher—or maybe I wasn’t ready to.
“You’re beautiful.” Reaching forward, his fingers traced along my collarbone. Down between my breasts. Along the curve of my waist. Every touch left fire in its wake, desire building inside me like the flames in the hearth.
When his lips followed the path his hands had taken, I thought I might come undone right then and there. Soft kisses and teasing bites along sensitive skin ignited my nerves. I tangled my hands in his hair, holding him to me, craving more but dreading the loss of his mouth on my flesh.
Lingering at my breasts, his tongue teased my nipples, sucking and nibbling as my body rolled beneath him, needing friction between my thighs as badly as I needed air.
“Please,” I gasped, not even sure what I was asking for. More, less, everything, nothing. I only knew I needed him, all of him, and I needed it now.
Eyes locking on mine, his hands slid down to the waist of my panties, fingers hooking in the elastic. He hesitated there, a question in his gaze. There was no question.
I nodded, unable to find my voice, but I knew what I wanted. There were no more barriers left between us, no more secrets kept or desires unfulfilled. At least for tonight, I was his and he was mine, and together we would find solace in the flames.