Page 32 of Old Girls on Deck
He slumped in exaggerated relief.
‘Exactly. And let’s not call it an interview, it’s just a chat between friends. The captain thought it would be an excellent little piece. Nothing difficult. A few tales of where you met, where you travelled with Captain Wedderburn. Favourite country, favourite port,’ he chuckled, ‘favourite biscuit. No, that last one was a joke. Bless your heart, it’s just my way.’
‘I don’t know…’ she hesitated, looking at me for support which didn’t come.
‘Go on, you’d be great,’ I said, ‘you gave that excellent talk at the WI last year.’
‘That was on garden birds,’ she said, giving me a hard look.
Dick Dainty smiled broadly. ‘Then it’s all settled. I’ll make a list of the questions I will ask, so you can prepare. But I promise it won’t be more than half an hour. People like these little bits to watch, while they are getting ready in the morning. We had a great response when we interviewed Carlos, the head chef. He did get rather emotional because unfortunately he’d had a couple of drinks instead of breakfast to settle his nerves and he’d just found out his daughter was expecting. And her boyfriend had scarpered. But there’s nothing wrong with a man showing his emotions these days, is there? And perhaps it was a mistake to ask him to bring his favourite kitchen tool with him. I mean, a knife that size was rather unexpected. I tell you, showbusiness is a hungry beast, people always want more. And they would love you, Mrs Wedderburn, especially if you have previous public speaking experience.’
‘It was only one talk at the Women’s Institute,’ Diana said rather faintly.
‘Believe me, that’s more than Carlos had done, and all things being equal, I think we made a good fist of it once we moved all the breakables. You’ll be fine. You know what they say. You’ll go out there a youngster and come back a star.’
We both blinked a bit, mesmerised by his jazz hands, his enthusiasm, and the unrelenting flow of words. What could she say?
‘I’m so looking forward to this,’ I said with a devilish smile. ‘Can I come and watch?’
Dick frowned. ‘Not a good idea, to be honest. Our studio is generally off limits to the public. We like to maintain an air of mystery. That old mystique of Doctor Showbiz, it’s like someone said about the royal family, don’t let the daylight in on the magic.’
‘I understand perfectly,’ I said.
Of course, I didn’t actually have a clue what he was saying, but this didn’t seem the moment to ask. Daylight? Magic? And where did the royal family come into it?
Diana was looking to me for support, and I was going to give it. I gave her an encouraging nod.
‘Tomorrow morning then,’ Dick said, standing up and running his thumbs and forefingers down the creases of his trouser legs, ‘be on deck 2, room 201 at seven thirty, and I’ll pop a few questions under your door later, so you have time to dig around in the old memory banks for some of those great stories. Our viewers will be delighted, I’m sure.’
‘Well,’ I said as we sat down at our usual table in the Bizet restaurant that evening, ‘stardom beckons.’
‘I think not,’ Diana said, looking a bit worried, ‘I’m expecting it to be just a few minutes of idle chit-chat and no one except you will be watching. I don’t want to even think about it any more. Now what’s on the menu this evening?’
I scanned the menu. ‘Doesn’t it feel weird to be eating this late? Eddy and I usually have something on a tray in front of Pointless, and then I’m wondering how soon I can go to bed. We watched a documentary on Australia the other day, and Eddy said he thinks I’m part koala. Apparently, they sleep twenty-two hours a day, even more than cats. It’s because of their diet. Eucalyptus leaves take a lot of energy to process. I bet if they gave koalas protein shakes, they would be running businesses and taking over the world. I think I’ll have the prawn cocktail and then the beef. Oooh, watch out, he’s back. He hasn’t put a tracking device on you, has he?’
Dick Dainty came scudding back over, his patent leather evening shoes gleaming.
‘I meant to say, Mrs Wedderburn, do wear something glamourous tomorrow morning. It makes everyone’s day start off that little bit better. I hope you don’t mind. Bless your heart. Must dash, I’m expected in the Ocean Spray in five minutes.’
‘And I was just going to sling my dressing gown on over my nightie,’ she said thoughtfully as we watched him scurry off.
I looked across at her. There was a new spark to her somehow. She looked very attractive, her cheeks glowing in the flattering light from the candles on our table. I seized the moment.
‘So now then. The lovely Raphaël. What are you going to do about him?’
7
Diana spent an hour going through the questions Dick had posted under our door, set the alarm for six thirty the following morning, and left the suite just after seven, throwing a rather envious look at me. I was sitting up in bed, still only half awake and looking forward to a more leisurely start to the day, watching the interview with a cup of tea and some of the complimentary shortbread from the gift basket.
I went to have a shower and made my tea, before sitting back in bed and turning the television on. There was a weather channel which promised bad weather and rain, a shopping channel extolling the virtues on the on-board shops, and the BBC news which was just as depressing as ever. Dick’s Diary was on channel 100, so I turned that on and prepared to wait while some music more suited to a shopping mall lift played in the background.
After a while, there was a discreet knock on the cabin door and Alfred came in. Perhaps he had heard the television or perhaps he had extrasensory perception, so he knew I was awake. I expect that sort of thing was drilled into butlers at butlering school.
‘Good morning, madam. Can I get you some breakfast? And some fresh coffee?’
I pretended to stretch and sneakily hid the shortbread wrappers under the duvet.
‘That would be lovely thank you, Alfred.’