Page 34 of Old Girls on Deck

‘It’s me. Of course I would. And you were excellent, honestly. Now have some breakfast.’

Diana shook her head. ‘I don’t think I could eat a thing. I keep wondering, what would Casper think if he knew what I’ve been doing?’

‘He would be very proud of you. I know I am,’ I said reassuringly.

‘Would he have been proud? I have the awful feeling he wouldn’t.’

‘Why on earth not?’ I asked.

‘Oh, you know. He was always the star of the show. I was always just the support act,’ Diana said.

‘That’s nonsense,’ I said firmly, ‘you spoke well, and you were very entertaining. I bet Dick Dainty couldn’t believe his luck.’

‘Casper would never have let me do that. I might have embarrassed him or said something daft.’

‘But you didn’t. And I bet when he gave his talks you didn’t criticise him afterwards.’

Diana huffed a bit. ‘Do you know, I was the one who did all the preparation for those talks. I used to get the script ready and sort out the pictures for him. All he did was go onto the stage and present them. I mean he was great at public speaking, he did it very well…’

‘I hope he acknowledged your help,’ I said, rather outraged.

Diana laughed. ‘Of course he didn’t. But it’s one of the reasons I spent so much time in the ship’s library, researching things, and checking details.’

I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.

‘That’s outrageous! What a—’ I stopped.

Diana was only now revealing things about the true nature of her marriage, and I didn’t think this was the moment to wade in. But I wanted to.

She looked out at the cloudy sky.

‘Did you see me, Casper? What do you think?’

I bit my tongue rather harder than I intended to and winced.

After a discreet knock, Alfred came in with a fresh pot of coffee and worried a bit when Diana said she didn’t want any breakfast.

‘I enjoyed your talk, madam,’ he said as he turned to leave, ‘and I know who that actor was. I have travelled with him and his famous wife several times, and they were both… very difficult.’

‘Yes, so I have heard,’ she said. ‘I was trying to be diplomatic.’

‘Recalling one particular event with that couple, a tea tray and a fire hose, I would say you deserve a seat at the United Nations,’ Alfred said with a grim smile. ‘Not to mention the dreadful language. I heard things from her I hadn’t heard since my time in the army. And she always seemed such a lady. On screen, anyway.’

‘Perhaps Dick Dainty should interview you too,’ I said.

Alfred frowned. ‘Oh no madam, that wouldn’t do at all. Luckily most passengers are very pleasant. But it does seem the less talented the celebrity, the worse their behaviour. I looked after the man from the John Wick films once, and he couldn’t have been nicer. Absolutely no casualties or gun fire. And someone called The Rock, who was charming and no trouble at all. Despite his size. Anyway, I will leave you to your coffee.’

Alfred went silently away, and we sat watching the muted television for a while, and then scoured the daily newsletter for entertainment. More wine tasting, salsa lessons and napkin folding. Talks on chocolate decorating, Cadiz, the French revolution, and vintage jigsaws. Quite a wide range.

‘I was going to suggest a brisk walk around the deck to work off some of the calories we have been inhaling, but the weather is rubbish,’ Diana said, looking out at the rain which was lashing down on our veranda.

‘Tom did warn you. And so did Wally the Weatherman. Perhaps we could just stay here this morning and order lots of weird things until Alfred admits defeat?’

Diana shook her head and was uncharacteristically decisive.

‘Let’s go to one of the talks. We both like chocolate. Listen: “At 2.30p.m. in the Ocean Spray theatre. A talk by Christopher Savage of Savage Chocolates, the internationally famous luxury brand. Learn how chocolate can be used to decorate, uplift, and inspire.” Well, that sounds good. “How has chocolate changed the world? Would you like to know how to decorate your chocolates at home? There is a masterclass with Pastry chef Feliz at 4.30p.m.”’

I considered it, trying to look thoughtful but secretly delighted that Diana was taking the initiative.