Page 45 of Old Girls on Deck

Vodka, Campari, Peach brandy. That sounded healthy.

‘I will bring them over,’ Pierre said, and I went back to my seat.

‘What are we having?’

‘Two Fresh Starts,’ I said.

‘Excellent news,’ Evelyn said with a mischievous twinkle.

10

‘So, tell me, what happened to Casper?’ Evelyn said.

‘He was only fifty-nine. He was home on leave, putting up a shelf in the kitchen and he had a stroke and just died. And he was about to retire too.’

‘How awful for Diana,’ Evelyn said softly, ‘she must have been devastated. And yet “stroke” is such a nice word, isn’t it? Makes one think of a basket of kittens. And of course, it’s not. Douglas had two strokes. The first was quite minor and he seemed to recover, just a bit of trouble with his hearing, although I think that was on the cards already. But then three months later he was watching the news one evening, something about the European Union and he used to get so cross. Because he knew a lot of the people involved in the negotiations and recognised them for the nitwits they were. He just shouted “oh for goodness’ sake…”, keeled over, and that was that.’

‘Such a horrible shock, losing someone like that,’ I said.

Evelyn tutted. ‘As I said before, I didn’t lose him, he died. People hate to use the word, don’t they. We use so many other euphemisms. I’ve heard them all. He passed on, as though he was driving to Birmingham. Or he departed, or left suddenly as though he had got fed up of a party. Or he’s gone to a better place, which always irritated me because, believe me, I made Douglas’s life very comfortable indeed. Or he had a good innings, which makes me imagine Douglas in cricket whites puffing up and down a field, something I can assure you he never did. Although we went to Lords many times, and the catering was splendid. He was such a silly old thing; untidy, impatient, fussy about his food. But now, I don’t think death is anything to be feared quite as much as people do. I like to imagine him sitting in a big leather armchair by the fire, reading the latest Dan Brown, or doing The Times crossword, with a gin and tonic on a table next to him. And when I eventually turn up, he’ll say “Ah there you are at last; help me with this one: Experiencing the effects of favourable fortune, five letters.” And I’ll say “happy”.’

I felt quite tearful for a moment, that this little woman in front of me could be so utterly content with her life, when I had lost my patience over silly things that really didn’t matter. Socks on the floor. Empty packets put back in the larder. His endless enjoyment of old comedy shows. Eddy suddenly seemed a long way away and I had an unbearable wish to hug him.

‘It’s a shame he can’t be with you though,’ I said.

Evelyn rummaged in her handbag and brought out an exquisite little enamel box decorated with flowers and Baby’s First Tooth written on the lid.

‘Oh, but he is, I have a tiny pinch of him in here. I take him everywhere on my travels,’ she said, ‘but don’t tell anyone because I’m sure I’m breaking some law or other. And of course, I don’t have a Diplomatic Bag any more. That was his pet name for me, you know. “Here she comes,” he’d say at parties after he’d had a couple of gins, “the Diplomatic Bag.” He was such fun. Douglas particularly liked New York. And I did think of sprinkling him from the top of the Empire State building when I was there four months ago, but there was a terrific thunderstorm, so I couldn’t go out onto the observation deck. Have you been there?’

‘No, I haven’t. Eddy isn’t a great traveller, which is a shame. He gets very seasick which is why I invited Diana on this cruise. He’s at home with his brother Simon and a couple of friends, building a patio.’

Evelyn clasped her little hands under her chin in delight.

‘How marvellous to have a handy man in your life. Douglas used to say he preferred getting a man in to do things and was handy at writing the cheque out afterwards. You could always fly to New York. I do recommend it, air travel is so exciting, and always give the cabin crew a little gift when you get on board. Chocolates are a winner. The last time I did that I was upgraded to business class, and it was fun all the way after that, and I told them all about Wendy, which they found very exciting. When I couldn’t decide which sort of gin to have, they brought me all three. I think I was a bit tipsy when I got off the plane, I certainly can’t remember collecting my suitcases. The best £8.99 I ever spent.’

‘I’ll be sure to do that,’ I said, laughing.

‘I’m sure Douglas will like Australia when we get there.’

‘I bet he will.’

‘I’m just off to powder my nose.’ Evelyn hailed a passing waiter. ‘Let’s have one last drink, shall we? I won’t be long. Let’s have whatever is at the top of page two, as a surprise.’

She totted off, very spry and surprisingly speedy for a woman in her eighties.

I sat and wondered what my sister was doing and hoped that she was having an enjoyable evening with her dashing companion. She was after all, trim, in good health and still very striking. It was no wonder she had attracted an admirer. I felt unreasonably pleased with the way things were turning out.

And what about me? My future with a retired Eddy. I was beginning to see that both of us would need to adapt to retirement, it wasn’t enough for me to fill my time with housework, escape into police dramas and birdwatching. It wasn’t enough to just not go to work.

I remember what someone had written in my card when I retired from the Passport Office:

Congratulations on deciding life is more important than work. What took you so long?

And it was true, I could see that. And yet a year on and I was still regarding the weekend as something different from the week. Which of course it wasn’t. To be honest, I sometimes had trouble remembering what day of the week it was at all.

I wondered how Eddy was dealing with it. He wasn’t a man to fuss a great deal or discuss his emotions with anyone, but even he had to realise he needed something to fill his days. And not just following me around giving advice about everything, or mansplaining how to stack the dishwasher.

Perhaps he was finding it hard too? I hadn’t fully appreciated that. When I got home, we could sit down and talk about it properly and make a plan. He would like that, Eddy always liked a plan, preferably accompanied by a spreadsheet.