Page 52 of Old Girls on Deck
We were all a long time dead. Knowing he would not live to see the Sagrada Familia completed hadn’t stopped Gaudi, after all.
Our champagne afternoon tea was a delight.
We were shown to our table in the Seabreeze ballroom by a smartly jacketed waiter and in just a few minutes were presented with a beautiful china cake stand, filled with tiny sandwiches, exquisite little cakes, some miniature scones and little pots of cream and jam to go with them.
‘I’ll be mother,’ I said as I poured out the champagne.
‘I wonder how they are getting on back home,’ Diana said. ‘I was thinking about Tom earlier, and being exasperated by him. Worse than that, I realise I was starting to think and behave like him. I know he means well, but he has been making me nervous, unwilling to try anything new. I suggested going into that German supermarket once, the one everyone raves about, and you would think I had suggested visiting an opium den.’
‘Well, I didn’t like to say anything, but I agree and it’s been very difficult to get you out and about recently,’ I said.
‘He always sees the worst in every situation. And it saps my energy. I suppose it’s being on board this ship that has made me realise it. Even couples like Ken and Thelma are giving life a go, aren’t they? And look at Evelyn. She’s in her eighties and game for just about anything. I look back, and I’ve done nothing of any significance since Casper died. And I was so busy keeping the home fires burning when he was alive and away so much, that I didn’t do much for myself then either.’
‘Does anyone really do anything of significance?’ I said, taking a dainty prawn sandwich from the stand. ‘Unless you’re going to win a Nobel prize or lead a military coup somewhere. Most people’s lives are filled with small things, aren’t they? But that doesn’t make them unimportant.’
‘I suppose not. But these few days away have made me see how easy it would be to gently shut down, not do anything or go anywhere new. Not take chances or do interesting and exciting things for the rest of my life.’
‘I’ll give you a bungee jumping experience for your birthday if you like?’ I said.
Diana took a cheese and pickle sandwich. ‘Thank you, but no. I don’t really know what I mean, actually. I just want to do something more than I am doing at the moment. When I was younger and Sam was little, I was teaching, and I felt I mattered. I want to matter again.’
At that moment, a woman, well dressed with a swooping silver bob paused beside our table.
‘I hope you don’t mind me interrupting. You’re Diana Wedderburn, aren’t you? I just wanted to say how much Jack and I enjoyed your talk the other day. On Dick’s Diary. Normally we only listen with half an ear, but you were really interesting.’
‘Golly, thank you. How kind of you,’ Diana said.
Then she realised she was still holding the sandwich halfway to her mouth, so she put it down on her plate.
‘We asked the purser if you were giving any more talks and she said she didn’t know but to keep an eye out on the daily newsletter. I do hope you will. Jack and I – I’m Sandra by the way – were talking to some people the other day and they said the same thing. It’s lovely to be on a ship like this, but we also wanted to know what it’s like for the crew. How the ship is run. I bet you could tell some tales?’
‘She could indeed,’ I said.
Sandra fiddled with her watch. ‘Well, enjoy your tea, this is our fifth cruise. I’m just sorry we didn’t start doing this years ago.’
‘Thank you for stopping by to say hello,’ Diana said, looking slightly awkward but also thrilled.
‘I say, you don’t have a book out, do you?’ Sandra said hopefully. ‘Because I’d buy a copy if you do.’
‘No, nothing like that,’ Diana said. ‘I couldn’t possibly.’
‘I don’t know why. You ought to think about it,’ she said.
Sandra bustled off to where her companion was sitting a few tables away, sat down and gave us a friendly wave.
I was thoughtful for a moment.
‘You see? I was going to say you do matter. Despite all the doubts you’ve been expressing, you were an excellent wife, you’ve been a great mum despite everything you say, you might be a grandma soon enough, and I bet you will be brilliant at that too. You’re a good friend to lots of people and when you were a teacher you taught thousands of kids to read and write and add up. And now you are doing something new and exciting, even if you didn’t expect it.’
‘You’re right. I hadn’t thought about it like that before. And wasn’t that nice of her? To say hello like that?’ Diana said. ‘I’m feeling rather emotional. I suppose I thought I would spend my old age looking after Casper. Which would have meant taking him to A & E occasionally when his woodwork projects resulted in an accident. Or watching his diet or giving him his tablets.’
‘Was he on tablets?’ I asked.
‘No, he refused to go to the doctor unless he absolutely had to for work, but everyone seems to be on something eventually, don’t they? Perhaps he should have done. Get over fifty and one is automatically given all sorts of things. And then you have to have some other tablets to counteract the side effects of the first tablets.’
‘I guess I have all that to look forward to with Eddy,’ I said, ‘although he’s on something already from the doctor: statins. He takes them with great ceremony every morning as though he’s doing something clever. He makes such a fuss when he sees me putting butter on my toast. And he would have a fit if he saw this pot of cream. He seems to think it’s poison. But give him a jug of custard or a steak pie and he’ll have the lot. And he can get through a packet of Jaffa Cakes quicker than anyone I know. Those things don’t count apparently.’
Diana laughed. ‘You’ve been married for so long; you must be used to him by now? You always seem so well suited.’