Page 60 of Old Girls on Deck
I got up, wincing at a bruised knee and hurried forward to help her to her feet and then both of us turned and blinked at the bright lights, realising that there were a lot of people watching us. Everyone turned, open-mouthed to see our less than stylish arrival and a few of them gave sympathetic ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’ as Diana stood up, tucked her shirt back in and I scrambled to retrieve her notes.
It took me a moment to register that we were actually on the stage of the Ocean Spray theatre. Someone in the front row stood up and waved at me, and I realised it was Evelyn. Flanking her were several familiar faces. Ken and Thelma with their friends Carol and Les. The Texans, Cyn and Betsey with their husbands whose names I couldn’t at that moment recall, and the woman who had asked Diana if she had written a book. I couldn’t remember her name either, which made me feel bad, when she had been so nice.
On the stage a man in a blue boiler suit and a high-vis jacket was tweaking some cables and looking up at the screen behind him, which displayed an annoying No Signal message.
‘Oooh, Diana, deary me. Upsy-daisy, you took a bit of a tumble there. Are you alright? Sure? It’s all good. No need to worry,’ Dick muttered, more to himself than her I think. ‘Always the same when there are these last-minute changes – I like everything to be sorted out before we get going. I like to know where I am, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she said with feeling. ‘What’s happening?’
‘Too many people, do you see? They wouldn’t have fitted into the Debussy. There was nearly a riot. Some people were getting very flaky. We had to make a quick decision, spur-of-the-moment thing, and that’s not something I like to do, but there was no alternative. The Fluffs – I mean the dancers weren’t happy. They were supposed to be rehearsing – well they will just have to wait. I still don’t know how the stagehands are going to put up a barn for the next show they are planning. I shall have to make it up with them later.’ He touched two fingers to his nose and made a honking noise. ‘Press the old charm buttons. Now then…’
He handed back Diana’s other shoe with a little bow. It looked as though one of the dinky little heels was hanging off.
‘You mean I am giving my talk in here?’ Diana said, horrified.
Everywhere I looked there were people. Either sitting and fidgeting in their seats, wondering what the delay was, or standing up and looking for their friends.
Dick pulled out a handkerchief and mopped his brow.
‘Well, yes. As long as you haven’t hurt yourself. Didn’t I explain that?’
‘No, I never expected so many people…’
‘It’ll be fine,’ he said, encouraging her towards the middle of the stage.
The view from there was even more terrifying. For the first time I could understand what stage fright felt like. Looking down at all those faces, all those people. Evelyn – now in her seat just in front of us – waved again and gave a little cheer.
No wonder Diana had been feeling nervous. I felt rather sick on her behalf and clutched her disorganised notes even harder.
Behind me the tech guy was still pulling out wires and plugging them in again to different sockets.
‘Right then, we’re all settled. Here’s your laptop. I’ll get you a glass of water. There’s a chair there and a podium if you prefer to stand up.’ Dick turned towards the tech guy and hissed, ‘Bruce, what is happening with the feed?’
Bruce tutted and sucked his teeth disapprovingly. ‘Someone has been messing with this, it was okay yesterday. I don’t know… who was in here last?’
Dick tutted and rolled his eyes. ‘Wally the Weatherman, his talk on earthquakes and tidal waves. According to him we are going to be wiped off the face of the earth sometime in the next few years. He says it’ll be like the dinosaurs but with traffic jams and a lot of politicians fighting to get into bunkers. The very last people we will need in an apocalypse if you ask me. I don’t know what the matter is with him, he can’t stop fiddling with things. I’m going to have another word.’
Suddenly the screen behind him flashed into life and there was a cheer from some of the audience who had been enjoying watching the problem unfold.
Diana Wedderburn – The Bermuda Triangle. Myth, Mystery and Monsters.
‘That was what Terry Baker-Engels called his talk. I hope it fits in with yours. Sorry about the unexpected marathon to get here. Still, the show must go on.’
I pulled my sister out of the harsh glare of the spotlight and quickly checked her over. Her bare feet were filthy, her silk shirt was dark with sweat under the arms and who knows what her hair was doing. I patted it into some sort of order and wiped a smudge of dirt off her face with a tissue.
I don’t know how she was going to continue in that state – I certainly wouldn’t.
‘I think I’m going to be sick,’ she said faintly.
Dick patted her on the arm. ‘No, you’ll be fine. Just the excitement. Have a sip of water. Right then here we are, sorry about the wait, ladies and gentlefolk, but as you probably realise, we couldn’t have fitted you all into the original venue. Sorry about the scramble, but we are only a tiny bit late. Uno momento and we will be ready.’
Dick had a muttered conversation with the technician and then turned to Diana with a happy smile.
‘Better? That’s the spirit. Now then, Bruce will get your laptop linked up to the screen. Do you need anything?’
Diana sat down and tried to hide her feet. ‘Valium?’
He chuckled. ‘I’ll just say a few words when Bruce has everything ready and then off you go. Remember, nothing to worry about, these people are all your friends and if they aren’t, they soon will be. And here’s a little pro tip. If you get a bit nervous, try and imagine them with no clothes on, that’s what I do. Here’s the control to change the slides.’