Page 39 of Becoming
“Do you think you could fall in love with me?”
Cassidy said the words so fast that they ran together, and it took Rebecca a minute to decipher what was said. When it all came together in her brain, she smiled brightly. Mostly for Cassidy’s courage, but also because she was so cute about it.
“Yes,” she said finally when Cassidy peeked down at her with anticipation.
Cassidy was now sporting that toothy, goofy grin of hers that Rebecca found irresistible.
“Do you think you’ve already started falling?”
Cassidy’s mouth slammed shut. She didn’t mean to say that, Rebecca surmised by the look of pure fear in Cassidy’s eyes. A fear that Rebecca felt as well. She didn’t know how it was possible, but it did feel like she was falling. That had to be what this feeling was. Since it felt good, Cassidy felt good, Rebecca allowed herself to be honest.
She caressed Cassidy’s cheek and whispered, “Yes.” It was frightening how true that was. She was definitely going to have to talk to Aunt Wills about this. Was it even possible to fall this quickly for someone? She nearly squealed with surprise when she suddenly found herself pinned beneath a very happy Cassidy.
“You know, we are lesbians.”
Rebecca laughed. “Really? What tipped you off?”
“Cute. What I mean is, we should take advantage of this stereotype we have. We’ve had three dates, that means a U-Haul is totally acceptable.”
Oh shit. Okay, the possibility of falling fast for someone is one thing. Moving in is a whole other animal altogether. The last person Rebecca lived with almost killed her. She meant it when she said she trusted Cassidy, but did she trust herself? Did she trust her instincts? Hell, did she trust that she wouldn’t become exactly like Samantha? Be calm about this, Rebecca.
“We have not had three dates,” she said playfully. She certainly didn’t want to scare Cassidy off. But she would need to make it clear that no matter how fast she was falling, they needed to take it slow.
“Sure, we have. The first two times at the club, and now. Or last night. If we make love right now, that’ll be four. Which, if you need four dates, I’m totally willing to sacrifice,” Cassidy grinned.
One thing was certain. Rebecca was going to laugh a lot in this relationship. She shook her head. “Sex? Sex is what constitutes a date for you?” Cassidy shrugged as if Rebecca just asked her the silliest question. “There was no food involved.”
“Food? That’s a date for you? Food?”
Well, it’s a start, Rebecca thought. This was probably a significant difference in their age gap. Truth was, Rebecca had no clue how to date these days. She had avoided it like the plague. Maybe sex was all it took for this generation. But that’s not how she wanted things with Cassidy. As phenomenal as the sex was, she wanted something deeper between them.
“For starters, yes,” Rebecca chuckled and caught Cassidy by the ass cheek as she tried to get up. “Where are you going?”
“To see what I have in the fridge. I’m going to make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” She frowned. “I think maybe I have some eggs. I know I have some beer.”
“Such a bachelor,” Rebecca mumbled blithely.
“Not anymore.”
God, the way Cassidy looked at her, so cheerful and honest, it made Rebecca think things would actually work if she were to agree to move in right this second. Nevertheless, Rebecca Cuinn was a realist. She caught Cassidy again before she could get up.
“Cassidy. Don’t rush this.” She felt bad when Cassidy looked as though Rebecca just popped her perfect bubble.
“I’m not trying to, Rebecca. It’s just…”
Cassidy hesitated, and Rebecca filled in the blanks. It was easy to do when the fear was quite apparent. “You’re afraid I’ll run again.” Cassidy shrugged. “And, I’m afraid you’ll find someone younger and more beautiful.”
“Never,” Cassidy said without uncertainty.
“I could say the same thing to you. I’ll never leave again. I told you we would try this, and we will.” Cassidy’s long bangs fell into her worried eyes as she bowed her head slightly. Rebecca reached up and tucked them behind a multi-pierced ear. “But we’re going to have to prove it to each other. If we’re going to trust each other together, we’re going to have to trust each other when we’re apart.”
Oh, Aunt Wills would be proud of that one. Perhaps Rebecca was learning more from these therapy sessions than she realized.
Cassidy let out an over-exaggerated sigh. “I know. But you’ll stay sometimes, right?”
“Of course. We’re in our honeymoon stage,” Rebecca waggled her eyebrows at Cassidy causing her to chuckle. Her heart felt lighter now that this first hurdle was cleared. She knew there would be more. That’s life. But if they could face them together like this, they would be fine. “We’ll be together more than we’re apart, Cassidy. We just need to know we can be apart without falling apart.”
Somehow that would sound more convincing coming from someone other than Rebecca who had no clue what she was doing. But whether she was trying to convince herself or Cassidy, it didn’t matter. Truth was truth.