Page 42 of Becoming
“So, I called… wait.” Cass paused as something Rebecca said hit her brain. “Mr. Abrams? You had men clients?”
Uh oh. This was one topic they hadn’t discussed. Yet. Maybe Cassidy had been purposefully avoiding the subject. Hell, maybe Rebecca was, too. It wasn’t exactly sexy to talk about their time with other people. Even if it wasn’t about sex.
“Yes,” Rebecca answered carefully.
“But, you’re a lesbian.”
“I’m well aware of that fact, Cassidy.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I told you it wasn’t about sex in my room. Not until you. It was about control. And, for my clients, giving that control up. I didn’t discriminate who I wielded that control on. In fact, men served me a great deal when it came to becoming stronger after Samantha. If I could control them, I could control anyone.”
Rebecca could practically hear the wheels turning in Cassidy’s head. Their time together had given her great insight into the inner workings of Cassidy’s mind. She wasn’t particularly analytical, but she had street smarts. When Cassidy was stuck on a specific issue, she would become quiet, working out the situation in her head. It was quite the interesting process to watch.
“I guess I get that,” Cass said finally. And, she did. She didn’t like it, but she understood it.
“But, you don’t like it,” Rebecca guessed correctly.
“I don’t like thinking of anyone in that room with you, whether it was sexual or not,” Cass confessed. “I know that’s stupid, but all I think about when I think about the Pink room is what happened between us.”
“You believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t like that with anyone else, right?”
“Yeah, babe, of course, I do. But, that’s the image in my head, you know? So, it takes me a minute to push that aside.”
“Duly noted,” Rebecca smiled. “Now, you were about to tell me why you called before we both got sidetracked. Not that you need a reason.”
“Huh? Oh! Right.”
Cassidy laughed at herself—another thing Rebecca learned was a frequent occurrence. Cassidy didn’t take herself or life too seriously. And she rarely had a filter. Whatever she thought, she usually ended up saying. It was something Rebecca was learning to appreciate. There was no pretense with Cassidy. What you saw was what you got. And Rebecca undeniably liked what she saw. Very much.
“I, uh, know you said that you were staying at your place tonight. I totally get it,” she said quickly. “I was just wondering if maybe I could take you to dinner first? Or, you know, come over with takeout and stuff?”
“Takeout and stuff,” Rebecca repeated with amusement. “And, would ‘stuff’ include sex?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Cassidy’s response was comically innocent.
“Mmhmm. And, after ‘stuff’ were you hoping I’d ask you to stay because we’d both be too exhausted to move?”
“I don’t know where you’re coming up with this, but I’m digging what you’re suggesting, baby.”
Rebecca heard the smile in Cassidy’s voice and laughed. “You’re a nut. You know that, right?”
“As long as I’m your nut, I’m good with that,” Cass replied, unknowingly causing Rebecca to shiver at the thought.
“How are we ever going to know if we can be apart if we never are?” Rebecca asked lightly.
“We’re apart right now,” Cass pointed out. And, I’m willing to forgo that experiment. I don’t need to be apart from you. For once, her mouth didn’t bite her in the ass by saying that out loud.
“And, talking on the phone about being together later,” Rebecca countered merrily.
“Hey, can I help it that my girlfriend is devastatingly sexy and my body aches for her every second she’s not with me?”
Wow. “Whoa. If you could feel what your words just did to me,” Rebecca said softly and heard a small groan from Cassidy.
“It’s all true, baby.” They have had sex every night since Rebecca came back into Cass’s life. And, still, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t just about the sex either. She truly enjoyed being in Rebecca’s presence. Something about the woman made Cass feel… whole. And, exceedingly happy.