Page 96 of Becoming
“Yes, baby. You’ve been frustrating lately, but that doesn’t mean I want to leave you.”
“’Kay. I’m really sorry about my attitude.”
“I know. And I know that you’ve been stressed out. This thing with Miranda came out at the worst possible time when you’re already under pressure with the gallery opening.”
“That’s not an excuse.” The background noise on Rebecca’s end changed from soft music and muted talking to traffic. I wonder where she’s going now.
“I’m not making excuses for you, Cassidy. I’m reminding myself what kind of toll this is taking on you.”
The beep of Rebecca’s Mercedes signaled she was now at her car. You can’t know the answers until you ask the questions. “Where are you headed now?” Cass asked as nonchalantly as she could.
Rebecca laughed quietly. “I’m coming home, Cassidy. I’m done for the day if you want to spend some time together.”
“Yes!” Okay, that was quite enthusiastic, but Cass didn’t care. “I was thinking about making you dinner.”
“Oh! That’s—I thought I would pick up some take-out and we can just relax. Maybe watch some movies?”
Cass laughed heartily. “I’m that bad, huh?”
“Only at cooking, babe.”
Oh, that flirtatious tone always got Cass’s juices flowing. Literally. “Take-out and movies sound perfect.”
“Thought so. Chinese okay?”
Cass heard the smile in Rebecca’s voice and it made her happy. “Anything you want, babe.”
THE COFFEE TABLE was littered with containers filled with all of Cassidy’s favorites. The couple propped themselves on the couch, Rebecca with her legs tucked under her, Cassidy had her socked feet propped up on the table.
“Must you have your feet next to the food?”
“I’m not touching it.” Cass playfully wiggled her toes closer to the lo mein.
“You’re such a child,” Rebecca laughed.
“You weren’t saying that an hour ago.” Cass waggled her eyebrows suggestively and stuffed half an egg roll in her mouth. She didn’t care one iota that it wasn’t hot and fresh anymore. When Rebecca had arrived home, need overtook them both. Food was forgotten. Miranda was forgotten. Once again, all that existed was the two of them. It was fast and furious, but it was also loving. Cass allowed herself to submit and give all to Mistress and it felt amazing to let go. That burden she had been holding for the past couple of weeks lightened even more.
“Hmm, as I recall, you were saying a lot of “yes, ma’am’s” an hour ago.” Rebecca winked at her lover. She loved seeing this relaxed side of Cassidy again. She wasn’t foolish enough to think the issues were resolved or that there wouldn’t be more disagreements between them. Life wasn’t perfect. As long as they could work through them together, things would be okay.
“You got me there, Mistress.” Cass bumped Rebecca on the shoulder and fed her a mouthful of noodles. “Think we could talk a little instead of watching a movie?”
“Of course.” Rebecca had been waiting for this moment. She had sensed a change in Cassidy from the moment Cassidy called her.
“So, I, uh, called the hospital where Rand will be at. I’m going to talk to her. You know, closure and all.”
Rebecca raised her brows. “You talked to Aunt Wills, didn’t you?”
Cass shrugged. “Yeah. I should have talked to you…”
“Cassidy, it doesn’t matter who you talk to as long as you’re talking.” Rebecca put her hand over Cassidy’s. “And as long as you know I’m here and can handle it.”
“I think I understand that a little more now. Aunt Wills basically told me to let your experiences guide me.” She turned her hand over and linked her fingers with Rebecca’s. “I’m scared, Becca.”
“Of what, baby?”
“My anger towards her. Hating her for the rest of my life.” She looked over at Rebecca. “Do you still hate Samantha?”
Rebecca took a moment to think about her answer, then shook her head. “No. I learned long ago that holding onto that hate was hurting me as much as holding on to that guilt was. For some reason, the hate was easier to let go. Maybe that’s because she died, I don’t know.”