Page 36 of Full Service
I roll my eyes and let out a long breath. “I’m growing as a person.”
Lee snorts and takes a sip of his coffee. Don’t get me started on how little water he drinks, for fuck’s sake. He’s probably as dry as the desert in those old veins of his.
“So, tell me about your love life. Gone down on any hot men lately?”
“Jesus, Lee.”
“My grandson told me about a fun online site, and I’ve been reading up on all the dirty slang. Apparently snowballing isn’t what I thought it was.”
I shake my head as a laugh explodes out of me. “Your grandson is a menace.”
“That he is,” he says and then leans forward. “I can give you his number, if you want.”
“No thank you,” I say, my mind flashing to Everly. I have enough to handle with him. I can’t imagine adding in another rowdy young guy. I would probably die from the stress of it.
Lee huffs and leans back in his chair, almost pouting. “Fine, he’s too young for you anyways. How about my son’s number then?”
“I didn’t think he was gay?”
“He’s not. Well, not that I know of, but he is lonely and you’re a good-looking guy. I bet you two would hit it off.”
“Lee,” I say with a huff of laughter. “That’s not how it works.”
“It should work that way, but fine. I guess I’ll have to settle with you not being part of my family by law. Just in my heart.”
His statement makes my own heart thunder in my chest. He’s always doing this, as if he knows how badly I need some kind of parental connection. I’ve only known him a few months, but I feel like I’ve known him for years. We have a lot in common, and from the small amount of time I’ve spent with him, I’ve learned so much about myself.
I’m a better man because of him.
The food is set down before us, and I stare glumly at the bowl of leaves.
“Would you like a fry?” Lee asks, and I begrudgingly take it from him and pop it into my mouth.
“These are extra salty. They must be terrible for your kidneys,” I grumble.
“Sperm has salt in it as well, and yet you don’t hear me telling you to stop sucking dick.”
The fry lodges in my throat and I choke, my body tensing up as my esophagus contracts in an attempt to get it down the pipe. I gulp down some water and thankfully don’t die on the spot, my watering eyes catching Lee grinning like the loon he is.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“Of course not, just telling it like it is.”
“For fuck’s sake. Keep those little facts to yourself,” I say as I swipe at my wet eyes. “And if you must know, it’s not salt in ejaculate. It’s sodium. Not the same thing.”
Lee waggles his eyebrows at me, and I sigh, realizing that he gives zero shits. His comment was just to rile me up, and his mission has been accomplished.
We eat the rest of our food, chattering about nothing important, just the gossip happening in his life and here in the home. I tell him briefly about my sister and niece and then a little more about my job at the university.
Suddenly, a man with ribbons dangling off his bare arms and legs appears and confidently struts toward us.
I sink down into my seat and hold my breath.
Jesus. It’s sensual-ribbon-man. If I don’t move, maybe he won’t be able to see me.
“Hello there, Mr. O’Conner,” the man says, waving his arm around his head, the ribbons fluttering around him. “Did you find a partner for the dance?”
“Sure did,” Lee says as he points to me. “This distinguished man right here.”