Page 13 of Taking It Off
Well, if Steve went by Big_Dick_73, they were. And from the sound of it, I believe that’s the case. Fuck. How did I not realize that my guys are so close to all of this? I need to do more digging to make absolutely sure none of them are involved.
That’s ridiculous. Of course, none of them are involved with the sex trafficking ring I’ve been slowly taking down. If they were, I would have already uncovered the connection. That thought doesn’t stop me from tapping into their computers and double checking while Jeremy and Will discuss Steve and how great a guy he was.
I feel a little guilty for searching their computers, but when I find absolutely nothing that ties them to the ring, relief settles in my chest. And what’s a little more guilt to go with what I’m already feeling for hurting Luke?
“Do the cops have any leads on either case?” I can’t force myself to say the word ‘murder’ because that’s not what these were.
“None on either. There was no physical evidence at either scene. Nothing ties them together, except that Steve worked for my dad, and Luke’s dad was his banker. So, I guess the only connection is my dad,” Jeremy explains. “Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I would think they were both professional hits.”
“Really?” I ask. Jeremy nods as he takes a bite of his sandwich. Fuck. I could be closer to getting caught than I realized.
Jeremy connecting Steve, his dad, and Luke’s dad makes me wonder. What if Jeremy’s dad is the one behind the ring? I’ll have to do some research and see what I find. I doubt he’d be stupid enough to have the stuff on his personal computer, but stranger things have happened. If I’m lucky, he won’t have anti-virus software and I’ll be able to get in without a cam call being involved.
“I just found an article about Steve. Apparently, there was evidence at the scene that he’s been involved with that big sex trafficking ring the cops have been trying to pin down,” Will says, turning his phone so we can see the article.
This is an interesting development. I wonder if they’ll connect the dots. “Wow,” I respond, unsure of what else to say. I search their faces to gauge their reactions to this news.
“That’s insane. How would he even get involved in something like that?” Jeremy asks.
“I don’t know, but if that’s what got him killed, I’d say he deserved it,” Will says.
“Definitely,” Jeremy agrees. “Do you think that Luke’s dad—?” He doesn’t finish the question, but now that the thought is out there, they both seem to consider it. I didn’t know the man prior to all this, so I have no idea how he portrayed himself to the guys.
“Before today, I wouldn’t think so. But it’s possible, I guess. My dad is always getting weird messages and taking cryptic sounding calls when I’m around. I wouldn’t put it past him, either. That’s one of the reasons I refuse to work for him. I don’t want to be involved in whatever he’s got going on,” Will explains.
“Same here. But my dad is more secretive about everything, so it’s hard to tell what he’s doing. He doesn’t take calls in front of anyone or check messages. It’s like everything is a case, and no one but him has clearance.” Jeremy’s statement makes me suspect his dad even more. Without proof, there’s nothing I can do. I’ll just have to bide my time and do some research.
“Do you guys really think your dads could be involved in something like that?” I ask, desperately searching my mind for some way to change the subject without alerting them to me being connected to everything.
Will shrugs, and Jeremy takes another bite of his sandwich. “It really wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t want to be connected to that, but I can’t control my dad.”
Jeremy looks at me intensely. “I wish I could say I’d be surprised, but after Mom left him, I know Dad went through some sick stuff. It was all in the name of ‘finding himself’ as he put it. He swore none of it was illegal, but who knows?”
I have no idea how to respond to that, so we sink into silence. I’m not sure if it’s awkward or comfortable, but I can’t say anything that could tip them off to my secret. After we finish our sandwiches, I decide to try changing the subject.
“I wonder how long Luke is going to sleep. He made me promise to stick around. I have things I need to do, but I don’t want to leave when he needs me.” It’s not a lie, but guilt still pangs at me.
“I’m not sure, but if you need to go because of work, I know he’d understand,” Will says, rubbing my arm.
I shake my head. “Work can wait. I won’t leave Luke when he’s this upset.”
Luke ends up sleeping for three more hours before he finally emerges from his room. Jeremy, Will, and I are watching a movie when he walks in and sits on top of Will to get near me. “Hey, man. I love you, but you cannot sit on my lap!” Will objects and scoots over to make room for him. I know he’s teasing, and Luke gives him a small smile.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, hoping that the nap helped at least as much as his tears did earlier. Luke rests his head on my shoulder and threads his fingers with mine.
“Eh,” he says with a shrug. That tracks. I don’t expect him to be feeling better yet. This is hard for him, and it’s my fault. I have to do whatever I can to help him heal.
“What can I do?” Guilt burns in my chest again. Each breath feels like I’m fanning the flames. I feel as if I’ll spontaneously combust at any moment. But I have to make sure they don’t catch on to my inner turmoil. So, I breathe normally, even though every breath hurts more than the last.
“Just be here,” he answers quietly, turning his attention to the movie. Okay, I can be here. It’s the very least I can do to make up for what I’ve taken from him. Tears fill my eyes, and I fight to keep them from falling. If they see me cry, they’ll feel bad for me. I don’t deserve their sympathy.
This feeling is so much different from the usual melancholy that hits after a job. This is more akin to actual regret. I’ve never second guessed my job before. I am ridding the world of scumbags who deserve to die for what they do to young women and children. I can’t feel bad for that. But this time, I do. Maybe I’m not cut out for this kind of work after all.
I can’t help thinking that it’s a little late for a career change, especially since I just accepted membership in the guild. This is their fault. I wouldn’t have killed Luke’s dad if not for their stupid contract with no loopholes.
That’s not fair, either. If I continued taking out members of this sex trafficking ring, there would have come a point where I found out about Donovan on my own. And I would have taken him out anyway. I can’t stop the guilt, but I can try to help Luke feel better, no matter how hard it is for me.
The movie plays, but my mind is elsewhere. I can’t focus on anything but what I’ve done and what I still need to do. I reach out with digital tendrils to see what I can find online about Jeremy’s dad and Will’s dad. I need to know if they’re connected to all this or not. No matter how badly I want them to be innocent, I can’t get past the nagging feeling that they have just as much blood on their hands as Donovan did.