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NICHOLAS
I love you.
The one little word had expanded into the whole phrase, radiating through my every thought, always at the back of my mind no matter how much I tried to push it away. It’d gotten so much worse since last night, something impossible to ignore each time I looked over at Parker, each time he spoke a single word. It was one of the reasons I’d suggested we go on a hike this morning, hoping that the fresh air would’ve been enough to clear my head…
But I was having no such luck.
I’d barely remembered packing the rope, blindfold, and blanket, something I must’ve done in some sort of haze, my waking thoughts fuzzy with wanting Parker. That was beginning to feel like my whole existence, just different shades of wanting Parker, yearning for him to be closer to me, yearning for him to understand how much I wanted him without needing to ever voice the thoughts running through my head.
I reached for his jacket, slowly pulling it away from his body. I pulled off his shirt next, before repeating the motion with his shirt, his jeans, his boxers, his shoes, his socks. I didn’t stop until Parker was fully naked in front of me, his bare skin pressed up against the tree’s bark.
Fuck.
It was a bewitching sight.
It felt like something out of an art history museum, the contrast between Parker and nature, the age of the tree and the youth of his face, anyone seeming young in comparison to such impossibly old branches and roots. I gently reached out toward his face, my palm resting against his cheek as I took in the sight of him, my beautiful Parker as beautiful as ever, the sun shining down on his skin, the fresh air mingling with his perfect scent.
Even now, as I gingerly tied him to the tree in front of us, my hands working around one of its roots and his back, I wanted him to become a mind reader. I wanted him to look into my eyes and suddenly get it, suddenly understand that I’d never wanted anyone more than him, that he was mine in a way I’d never thought was possible.
“That feels like a really good knot,” Parker said, breaking me out of my momentary trance. There was a smirk on his face, as always, amusement lighting up his expression. “You’re not thinking about leaving me here for dead, are you?”
“Very funny, Parker.”
“I’m just saying that you could. I wouldn’t be suspecting it. And this knot is pretty tight so it’s really the perfect crime?—”
“I would never hurt you, Parker. Ever.”
“I know,” Parker murmured, his tone turning serious. “I’d never hurt you, either, for the record. At least, not on purpose.”
“But by accident?”
“Accidents happen all the time,” Parker murmured again, his mind seeming to drift somewhere else. “People make mistakes, even when they’re trying their best.”
“Hmm,” I hummed, as I finished securing him against the tree.
I love you.
The phrase ran through my head again and I winced away from it.
“Nicholas?” Parker’s voice was low. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I said, breathily. “I just… love seeing you like this. You’re so… vulnerable against such a powerful backdrop. I was just taking in the contrast of it all. Like staring too long at a painting.”
“You should… take a picture.”
“What?”
“So, you can always look back at it?” he suggested. “Besides, it’d be nice for me to have one, too. You can send it to me after you take it.”
“I don’t know if that’s?—”
“Please, Nicholas? For me?” Parker pleaded. “And for you, too. We don’t know how much time we really—we don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again?—”
“I’m not going to make it that easy to get rid of me, Parker.”
“I don’t really know if that’s up to either of us, Nicholas.” Parker sadly shrugged. “It’s just a matter of timing. It’s just a matter of being practical?—”