Page 28 of Princess of Air
“We have personal relations there, Bell. It’ll come from me.”
I rack my brain for any other excuse, though I know it won’t matter. Tomas is stubborn. There’s no use arguing with him. If he’s determined to go, he’s going to. It’s so nice to see him sure of what he wants and being assertive about it. But it’s never been me.
***
Could I have flown the distance to Lambridge? I’ve never tried to go anywhere near this far. I doubt it would go well. However, depending on how our time here goes, I may risk it for the return home. I couldn’t keep the trajectory going with Jamys under Tomas’ gaze. Even if he wouldn’t be jealous, his lack of caring would only make me more upset. Not speaking to Tomas proved to be completely miserable, and by the third day, I had forgotten why I was angry with him. Or I realized it was nonsense. It didn’t matter. At that point, it was a matter of pride to keep it going.
We are nearly there now, and a wave of relief rushes over me. Traveling can be its own separate incident, and this shall be a fresh start to our adventure. There is work to be done here—helping our people, showing them who we are. It should be more than enough for me to forget the web of personal dramatics I’ve spun for myself.
For our arrival in Lambridge, we don our finer riding clothes. None so fine as Nina, but that’s because she is in a carriage. Before the city is even in sight, guards from Lambridge Castle meet us to escort us in.
“It isn’t every day we see House Exos banners pass through,” the captain says. “We want to make sure you aren’t bothered.”
“We appreciate the gesture,” Rylan says.
Not that our people’s attention should be a bother, but I hold my tongue on the topic. The sun is high in the sky when Lambridge comes into view. The town doesn’t take up much space on a map. It’s densely packed to keep this little outpost at the edge of the kingdom secure. We take a round-about route, skirting the edge of the city.
“Are we not to pass through the town?” I ask a guard flanking our party.
“A caravan of this size would have a difficult time getting through the streets, Your Grace.”
“I see.” I’ve never been to Lambridge and want to roam through it. There’s time enough for it later, I suppose.
As we pass by the farms at the border, some fieldworkers huddle together, watching as we pass by. The distance is probably too great to notice, but I offer them a smile as we go. Disquietude prickles the back of my neck—a feeling that they are wary of us in a way I’ve not previously experienced. I wonder how much of our route has to do with traffic concerns, or if it’s a matter of security.
Lambridge Castle comes into view in the rolling foothills before the sharp mountains which demarcate the border between Alchos and Penum. Such mountains seem like they should do a better job of keeping Penum and their hatred of our magic out of our lands. Alas, snakes can slither through the valleys to tell people they should be afraid of us.
We pass through the gates and are greeted by a retinue of nobles. Lord and Lady Altman are the first to welcome us. Horace shares his sister’s dark hair and blue eyes which she passed on to Tomas and Josslyn. As we move on to their children and other family, Lady Kathlyn’s daughter looks particularly excited, nearly bouncing on her heels as she curtsies. Ceanna is about my age. Her late father was Lord of Windamere, but when her mother married Horace, she came to live here, rather than remain at home with her brother as the new lord of the castle. Her eyes are bright with joy, which hits a new peak when we continue and Tomas reaches her. She squeals and throws her arms around his neck, her long red curls bouncing along her back as she lifts her feet, hanging off him.
The gods in their graves blessed Mother with the foresight not to give me fire, because I’d be an inferno right now.
“It’s been almost a year. I didn’t think you were going to stay away so long.” She latches onto his arm, and I turn away before Tomas can make eye contact with me—if he even would.
We make our way into the castle, me on Jamys’ arm, trying to ignore the voices behind us without putting myself in a bubble of silence and possibly missing something I actually need to hear. Practically at our heels, Ceanna prattles on to Tomas, and my stomach lurches as I piece it together. Last summer’s stay at Etherlee was shortly after Tomas returned from almost a year here in Lambridge. That was when I first noticed a new gleam in his eyes, the confident swagger. I was a bundle of nerves when we finally came together, but he was perfect: gentle when necessary but forceful in the best ways.
Too good to not have known exactly what he was doing.
It hadn’t occurred to me at the time. I suppose some part of me knew it wasn’t his first time, and it really doesn’t matter. Unless I have to be around someone else he’s slept with. This is quite different than there being a hypothetical other person somewhere in the world. This one is right here, her hands on Tomas, and the resulting pressure in my chest builds to an explosive level.
Horace stops in the sprawling entrance hall. “Please, make yourselves at home. Rest and wash after your long journey. It will be our honor to catch up with all of you over dinner tonight.”
We offer our thanks, and attendants guide us to our rooms. Tomas says he knows where he’s going, but Ceanna seems intent to escort him up the opposite staircase from the one the rest of us are herded to. Excellent—a trip meant to help the kingdom, which then added a lovely opportunity for Jamys and I to spend some time together, has turned into a nauseating situation where I’ll be thinking about Tomas fucking someone else under the same roof.
Chapter fifteen
Alone in the well-appointed room given to me, I pull a soundproof bubble around myself and let out a good, loud scream. My shoulders rise and fall with my heaving breaths. Of course, the only person I’m truly angry with is myself. I have no right to be jealous. He’s certainly free to do whoev— whatever he wants. I have no claim on him. And anyway, I was starting to warm up to Jamys. To have my thoughts thrown back to Tomas is so ridiculous. It’s as if every time I make any progress, I revert even further.
A knock sounds from the door, and I look at it accusatorially. If that is Tomas, I will undoubtedly regret how horribly I act toward him in this moment. Perhaps he’s coming to apologize or explain. Would that be any better? Shouldn’t I use this to sever whatever it was we were doing?
“Ara?”
What is a combination of relief and disappointment called? Whatever it is, that’s the feeling when it’s Jamys on the other side of the door. Relieved that I don’t have to fight with Tomas. Disappointed that Tomas doesn’t want to try to fight with me. I’m a fool.
I open the door and gesture for Jamys to come in. “Did you miss me already?”
He hesitates before entering—propriety at all times—and I close the door behind him. “Do you need anything? Are you well?” His brow furrows, his lips slightly pinched. It reminds me of his nervous tension when he revealed his musical hobby.
“I’m fine, thank you. A proper bath and bed are all I need.”