Page 69 of C*cky Best Friend
“Are you trying to tell me something?”
I search the struggle in her eyes. She’s biting her lips, and I drop my gaze to stare at them, wishing I were those teeth. Every cell in my body is reaching out to this friend I’ve known all my life, thinking that if we would just touch then it would all make sense.
“Logan.” Her eyes briefly close. No words will come. She looks tortured, but no one is more tortured than I.
I step closer, take her chin in my hand, my voice thick. “Please don’t give me hope if there isn’t any. I told you I love you. I saw it in your eyes then that you didn’t feel the same way. If you suddenly do now, does that mean you always did? Because I would leave the show and come back to Atlanta if you just said the word.” I lean a little closer so that I can breathe her in, feel the heat from her skin, waiting for her to stop me, push me away. But she doesn’t move. So I brush my lips against hers for the first time in our lives. Samantha’s breath hitches and desire wells up in my groin. Taking a chance, I kiss her, surprised as she responds. She feels like home, but just as I’m about to take this deeper she touches my chest and pushes us apart.
“Stop, I can’t. It’s not right.”
This pain coursing through me is unimaginable. I thought I ached for her before, but now? I’m staring at the love of my life, knowing this has to be the last time I see her. “Goodbye Sam.”
I turn away to find Ryder tapping the steering wheel, engine running.
She calls after me, “Mondays?”
Shaking my hand I keep my gaze locked on my escape plan.
But I hear footsteps chasing me down. Samantha runs in front of me, grabs my arms. “Logan, please don’t leave like this.”
“I have a flight to catch in the morning.”
“I know, but I can’t let you leave here until you promise me that we will still talk to each other every Monday. Promise me!”
My throat is tight, corners of my eyes burning. “Sam.”
“Please!”
“No. I can’t do that.”
“If you love me, then you can’t erase me like this. That’s not what love is.”
“How would you know?”
Tears jump to our eyes, too. “Don’t be cruel to me, Logan!”
“Sam, let me go.”
“Promise me we will still talk on Mondays.”
“I can’t.”
Can’t say no to you.
Can’t stop loving you.
Can’t have you.
She hugs me, burrowing into my chest. “Please don’t do this. I need you in my life. Please don’t leave me like this. Promise me every Monday you’ll call!”
My throat is so dry I can hardly say it. “Make it once a month.”
“That will be too easy to let it go.”
With sarcasm I laugh, “You’re not easy to let go of.”
She pulls back, searches my eyes and touches my chest right over my broken heart. “Every Monday I’m going to call you. Please pick up. Promise!”
I stare at her, wishing for so many things. “Okay.”
Samantha Cocker releases me, and walks back home.