Page 86 of C*cky Best Friend
Holding my hand up, I say, “Please don’t raise your voice at me. We never yelled at each other. Let’s not start now.”
His ego glares at me. Despite it, his voice lowers with all the respect we have earned. “Are you breaking up with me, Sam?”
A lump sharpens in my throat. “Yes.”
He swears, eyes frantically searching for something to lock onto that he can make sense of. “I’m such an idiot. It’s Logan, isn’t it. You’re in love with Logan.”
“This just doesn’t feel right. Does it feel right to you?”
He snorts, “Would I have asked you to move in here if it didn’t?” He slaps the counter and makes his fist, tapping the granite while he thinks. “You knew that it hasn’t felt right to you.”
“That’s not true,” I honestly tell him, taking a step closer. “I didn’t realize it until yesterday.”
He flattens his hand and cuts a furious look to me. “But by then it was too late.”
“You say that like my showing up here with my boxes could have been avoided.”
“Yup.”
I take another step. “Yesterday I was too numb to make that kind of a decision. I’m only human, Steven. Can you imagine how cold it would’ve been if I had just pulled the plug without hesitation? Do you think I care nothing for you?”
His eyes soften. But for a second. “It’s a good thing you didn’t unpack. Now you can grab all the shit you’ve been leaving at my house and add it to those boxes on the way out.”
“Does hurting have to make you cruel?”
He turns for the cupboard, producing one coffee cup and staring at it for a moment before he sets it down to fill it up. He won’t look at me as he says, “No.”
I close the distance and place my hands on his back. “You know me, Steven. I would never hurt you on purpose. I was completely in the dark, too.”
He nods, setting the coffee pot down and gripping its handle. “Theo is having some people over to watch the game.” He opens the cupboard, and reaches higher for his thermos, transferring the contents and securing the lid. “I’ll go over there. Keep trying not to hurt me by being gone by the time I get back.” He walks away and leaves my hands empty of a boyfriend, and one less friend.
In the bathroom I am shaking as I text my sister:
Can you come over to Steven’s house?
She replies:
You mean your house? ;-)
I send back:
Not mine anymore.