Page 23 of Lying Hearts
Chapter Fourteen
Annie
On the couch. Blanket-wrapped feet tucked under me. Laptop opened to Expedia.com. Veins pounding with excitement and a shit-ton of fear.
Ilook around our living room, eyes blurring with salt-water and heart beating even in my hair follicles. Am I really going to do this? Go to Europe and not finish school? People don’t do things like this. This is crazy.
Or… brave?
Every three seconds I consider bailing on the escape-from-San-Francisco stratagem, but a sob catches in my throat immediately as I imagine seeing Brendan around town at parties with all the same people, at all the same places. He said he wanted to know my name so he could avoid me! He hates me. He’d never even noticed that I existed before last night. That is so terribly crushing to know.
There’s a whole world out there and I want to see what it’s like to not be hurting and alone all the time. Now I’ll be hurting and alone with pizza, gorgeous vistas, red wine, and Italian men to stare at. That can’t be bad!
C’mon Annie, you can do this.
And if I go, surely I’ll find someone – anyone! – who thinks American accents are sexy. Someone who likes shorthaired girls who don’t know how to talk to a guy without being sarcastic. Sigh. I’ve got a long way to grow.
I sure don’t want to do it here with everyone watching. Anonymity will be so much easier. I hope.
Typing in San Francisco to Italy, options for Rome or Verona spring onto the screen. I’m an adult and can legally go wherever I want to on the entire planet. So where do I want to go? The choice is remarkably simple. A smile creeps onto my face. I mean, if Verona was good enough for Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, then it’s sure as hell good enough for Annie O’Brien, aspiring playwright.
Sold, bought and paid for! Thank you credit cards.
“Mom?”
I can almost see her worried face through the phone. “Annie? Are you crying?”
I sniffle. “Uh-huh.”
“What’s going on honey? Larry, turn that down. Annie’s crying!” I can practically see Dad jumping off the couch, abandoning the football game. They don’t understand me, but they love me. What are they going to say to my decision?
“Um… I’m uh…” I bite my lip, terrified to confess what I just did. Will they support this?
“What is it, baby love?” Daddy asks through the phone’s speaker.
Speech has forsaken me. I open my mouth but… zip-ola comes out of it.
“Annie! What is it?” Mom asks, more loudly and more concerned.
I need to say, I’m leaving college. I’m leaving the country, too. And I’m using my credit cards to do it. But I’ll pay it all back. I promise. Okay… here goes nothing! “Um, well, I just needed to tell you that I…”
“Yes, honey? You what?”
“I miss you guys. That’s it. Sorry… to freak you out. I had a nightmare, and it scared me.” And the nightmare was my life.
Mutual sighs. Daddy mutters to Mom, forgetting I can hear him, “Why are girls so emotional?” He trudges away, calling back to me as his volume fades with his reunion with the couch. “We miss you, too, baby love.”
Mom adds, “We do, honey. Come home and see us before college starts back up.”
“Um, no. I’ll stay here for the summer. Lots of things I want to do here in the city to get ready. Last year and all.” Lie lie lie.
I can hear her sweet smile in her voice, can see the grey-streaked red-hair giving way to her fingers as she nervously pushes some off her forehead, the way she always does when she’s unsure. “Okay, well, you call me if you need me, okay? I’m always here for you.”
A sob tightens and locks in my throat. “Okay, mom. Bye.”
Corinne walks out of her bedroom as I hang up. She’s got on sweats and a tank top now and her hand flies up to her mouth when she sees me. “Oh my God! Your hair!!”
My hand flies up to the mess in question, and I finger the homemade pixie cut. “I cut it.”