Page 28 of Lying Hearts
TONIGHT— FIVE FUCKING YEARS LATER
San Francisco. Present day…or night.
Chapter Sixteen
Annie
Boobs: hiked up in a cute halter. Jeans: tight tight tight. Brows: furrowed. State of mind: stressed the fuck out. Because this is what San Francisco does to me.
“How were the numbers last night, Annie?”
A small snort escapes me as I pour Sterling Cabernet into a glass for Barbara, my resident bar fly. She’s not your typical bar fly – not all dirty and drunk, with her head hung on the counter. She looks and dresses like a wealthy fortune teller, and I’ve never seen her actually intoxicated since she first started coming in here on Day One of my grand opening three months ago. And not because she doesn’t try to get drunk. With the way she drinks, she could take Charles Bukowski to the floor – if he drank red wine and only red wine… and was still alive. As he is now, pretty much anyone can take him.
“Not great, Barb. Not great.” I push my long strawberry blonde hair off my shoulder and frown.
With a flourish of her wrist, she waves my worry away – or tries to. There is a lot to worry about. I’ve sunk everything into this place. “From the moment I saw the Help Wanted sign under all that… oh… what is it called?” Her hand swims circles through the air, searching.
I cock my head to the side and plant my hands on the bar, needing a better clue. “What is what called?”
“In front of the building during renovations, what was that? All the ugly metal, wood planks…”
“Scaffolding?” I offer, glancing over to Manny as he gathers abandoned lipstick-stained glasses from booths to bring them back for a good cleaning. He’s got a bounce in his step and it makes me feel a little better. “It wasn’t up long. All they had to do was paint the place.”
I only managed bars in Italy, never owned them. This is my first solo mission where I’m in charge, the bill’s on me – as are the paychecks – and if the ship sinks, I go down with it. I guess I could handle that, but my employees? I would feel awful if I couldn’t pay them and had to let them go.
I’ve put everything into the place, almost all the money I saved while I was living with Christiano, but Le Barré hasn’t found its footing yet. I picked a great location on Mission Street, but I’m lost for ideas on how to spread the word with no money. I need to keep what I have to make sure I can pay my rent and you know, eat.
Barb’s bangle bracelets rattle a victorious clatter as she slaps the bar. “That’s it! Scaffolding! Every since I saw all that mess, I had a good feeling. Now don’t look so skeptical. I’m very intuitive.” She taps the side of her head with a very long red nail, and leans in to half-whisper, “I bless it, too.”
I chuckle. “Oh yeah?”
“I cover it in white light every time I walk by, like this!” Her hands go out wide to illustrate. She tilts her head away, looking at me from the corners of her twinkling eyes. “And I walk by every morning on my way to the park.”
“That’s a lot of white light.” I’m amused, but I wish she had the power she thinks she has. I top off her glass with an extra pour anyway. Leaning in, I whisper, “Looks like I owe you. This one’s on me.”
Clapping her hands together with glee, she squeals as much as a deep voice can. “What a dear you are!”
“That’s me. I’m a real peach.” I wink and walk off to help other customers, looking around my baby, Le Barré. Even though I left my Goth days behind me long ago, I still lean toward black décor, so I opted for that instead of the usual red that most bars use.
Le Barré is everything you’d expect from a small lounge that fits seventy-five at capacity. There are a handful of booths around the far perimeter, tall tables in the middle surrounded by bar stools, and a large supply of booze behind me on glass shelves. I need to get some paintings or photographs on the walls, but I haven’t had the cash to do it. I keep the lighting extra dark in hopes that people won’t notice.
I love all three members of staff. Taryn’s a cutie pie with a great smile and a bubbly attitude. Laura is my no-nonsense chick; you mess with Laura and you are in trouble. And then there’s Manny who works every night so that he can send money back to his family in Mexico. He’s the one who tears at my heartstrings the most. I wish so much that the tips will start pouring in, more for him than for me. To help us all, I guess.
I had one more girl, but I had to fire her for skimming from the till. When I caught her, she cried and told me she was broke.
“I hear ya. Business has been slow. Go get a better paying job where you don’t have to steal to survive.” Then I shut the door behind her weeping eyes, and didn’t feel the least bit badly. I don’t do well with betrayal.
When the others asked me what happened to her, I told them. Then I offered them an out. “It’s been three months and I know you probably can’t survive in this city on fifty bucks a night in tips. If you need to quit, I understand. Just don’t steal from me, because then you’re stealing from each other, too, and I won’t have it.”
Laura shrugged. “My husband pays the bills. I’m just here to get out of the house.” I knew this wasn’t completely true – they weren’t well off by any means – but I sure appreciated it.
As usual, Taryn grinned, her smile brightening up an otherwise difficult conversation. “Hell, I’m in college still, Annie. My parents are footing the bill. I’m all yours. I’m here to meet men!” Then she hugged me.
It was Manny who made me tear up. He shook his head and walked away saying simply, “I’m not leaving.” I don’t know why. I’m guessing it’s the same part of him that makes him send money home. What I did to earn his loyalty, I don’t know, but I’ll take it. I can use all the support I can get, with my nerves being this on edge and so much on the line.
One night, when we had only three people come in for an entire night, I’d cried in front of Taryn. Helpless, she stood by. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Yeah? How???!! Why did I come back to this city? I had a great boyfriend. I lived in a pretty home. What am I doing here?” I sobbed, shaking my head like a lost child, and staring off into crazy-ville.
Taryn sat down, and got quiet. “Why did you come back, Annie?”
Feeling defeated and needing someone to talk to, I spilled my guts to her. “When Christiano would tell me he loved me, I’d say it back… but my heart ached. No, it didn’t just ache - it throbbed with doubt. I can’t do that to him. If I’m going to love, it’s going to be with my whole heart, not half.” I sniffled and pushed away a tear, looking into her sweet face. “Taryn, I gave that other half of my heart away to a boy who didn’t know I existed. I came back to see him… can you believe how stupid that is? I came all the way back to this stupid city to see if I’ve been holding onto a fantasy, or if he really is the one. I must be out of my mind, but I still can’t get him out of my head!”
She laid her hands in her lap and smiled. “That’s very romantic.”
My eyes went wide, completely incredulous. “It’s fucking painful, Taryn!”
She laughed and nodded. “That too.”