Page 39 of Not You Again
“Are you concerned that we’ve paired you with someone you’ve already dated?”
“Of course I am.” She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. “Kit and I failed at this once already. I’m not sure what you saw in us that makes us a match.”
Dr. Leon smiles. “I suppose that’s for you both to figure out along the way. You may already have a guess based on how your relationship went the first time.”
I look at the ring on my finger.
“Kit, what drew you to Andie the first time you dated?”
My eyebrows shoot up, surprised he asked. I clear my throat. “Um. She’s beautiful, obviously.” I gesture vaguely in her direction. “But I think my favorite thing about her is how she held space for me to dream bigger at a time in my life when I was barely getting by.”
Andie’s gaze softens as she looks at me, her lips parting. I don’t think I ever articulated that feeling when we were together, if only because I only recently was able to parse it into words. “It’s true,” I assure her.
“Andie, what drew you to Kit ten years ago?”
“Aside from his thighs?” she quips, and I can’t help but laugh.
Dr. Leon chuckles too. “You know what I’m asking.”
Andie takes a deep breath. “Back then he felt … so steady. My life had always been chaotic, and Kit felt like the calm in the storm. When he left so suddenly, I realized maybe I’d been wrong.”
I frown. “You know why I left.” I yelled it to her through the crack in the door while her roommate blocked me from coming in.
“Why did you leave?” Dr. Leon asks gently.
“My dad passed,” I tell him, but keep my eyes on Andie. “I got the call in the middle of the night and took the first bus home. It took me a few weeks to get my head on straight enough to get back to school and find Andie.”
Andie shakes her head. “You were gone before then.”
“What do you mean?” Dr. Leon asks.
She pauses, picking at one of her cuticles. Finally, she says quietly, “He wasn’t ready for a relationship. So he checked out.”
“Is that true, Kit?” Dr. Leon frowns at me.
My mouth goes dry. I remember the night Andie told me she loved me. We were half asleep. She’d spent hours crying on my chest because her mom was going through a divorce.
I drag my hands down my face and echo what we’ve already said ten times over. “We were twenty-one. I had no idea what I was doing.”
Dr. Leon nods. “I suppose the question now is: are you both going to be able to put that piece of your past behind you and start fresh as adults?”
“I’d like to,” I say truthfully. How many times have I wished we could go back and do it differently?
“Andie?”
She looks me over, then turns her gaze on Dr. Leon. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all we ask.” Dr. Leon shifts in the chair and flashes his smile. “Now, let’s hear about the honeymoon.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEENANDIE
The next morning is a blur. I didn’t sleep well—on the edge of our shared bed, awake long after the cameras left, my mind replaying how I told Kit I loved him ten years ago, and he couldn’t say it back. I told Dr. Leon I’d try to move past it, but I’m not sure I can.
I’m a zombie as we go through the motions of getting ready, tiptoeing around each other and the camera crew in this tiny apartment. We’re going to Kit’s place before we head to work, and I’m already mourning the lost time to work on my dresses.
Kit hands me a cup of coffee in the kitchen. I mumble my thanks and lean against the counter. Mid-sip, I notice the drawing on the fridge. It’s got the logo of the resort we stayed in last week on it. The pencil strokes create the image of a woman holding a coffee mug. She’s barefoot and staring into the distance. Her hair twists in the wind, and the look on her face is serene. Gentle.
“What’s that?” I ask, nodding at the fridge.