Page 6 of Endless Obsession

Because there wasn’t a choice at all. This was about more than becoming camorrista; this was about survival. And I’d always done what was necessary to survive. Salerno would kill us both if I hesitated. I wasn’t willing to end up dead for the kind of foolish principles that’d ruled my father’s moral compass. There was no point in both of us dying here tonight.

“Wait.”

My heart leapt into my throat. For a moment, I thought I’d passed the test, and Salerno would let us both go.

Then he removed the man’s gag.

“Please don’t kill me. Please. I have a family. I have three children. They need me to put food on the table. Please, don’t do this.” The pleas left his bloody lips in a panicked stream. I had no way of knowing if they were true.

He could be lying.

Or his children might starve without him to provide for them.

I glanced at Salerno. For an insane moment, I considered turning the gun on him and shooting a bullet into his black heart.

But then I would be an enemy of the Camorra. Gian and Enzo would try to protect me, and we’d all be hunted down like dogs. We’d die in the squalor of Le Vele, and no one would mourn us.

I wouldn’t allow my friends to die because of me.

I looked directly into the bound man’s eyes. They were dark green, turned almost black by his dilated pupils. He continued to beg for his life, but his pleas were drowned by the ringing in my ears. I burned his face into my mind. Not because Salerno had commanded it, but because I owed the man that much. I would remember this until the day I died. I would remember him and carry the burden of his death forever. It was a twisted sort of tribute to him, and it was all I could offer.

It took the barest movement of my forefinger to squeeze the trigger. It shouldn’t be so easy to kill a man.

I should’ve used a knife. Having his blood on my hands might’ve made everything feel more real. I should feel his death in every way possible. Such a violent end should be visceral. And a man should have a chance to defend himself.

I’d shot him right between his eyes and ended his life in less than one of my own selfish heartbeats.

Salerno was laughing quietly. He clapped me on the back and took the gun from my numb fingers.

I followed him out of the basement, leaving the dank space as a man. The half-starved, desperate boy who’d descended these concrete stairs only minutes ago had died in the same instant I’d ended my victim’s life. I’d just attained everything I’d ever wanted, and my soul was screaming because of it.

“Massimo.” Evelyn’s soft voice soothed my wounded soul like a healing balm. “Massimo, wake up.”

I buried my face in her silken hair, breathing in her floral scent to ground myself in the present. I wasn’t that weak boy anymore. I’d killed plenty more men since that night I became a man. I’d lost count of how many had died by my hand.

But unlike that night, I always killed with a purpose. I had my own code of honor and sense of justice, something that Salerno would never understand. He was my boss now, as cruel and conniving as ever. But Gian, Enzo, and I had become powerful enough that he didn’t often command us to cross our own moral lines. Even the most loyal dog would bite if cornered.

We were loyal to our clan, not Salerno personally. But until the day came when we were able to overthrow the bastard, we had to owe him our fealty. The day of reckoning was coming soon now that we’d made this deal with Duarte and Rodríguez.

“What are you thinking?” Evelyn murmured, trailing her soft fingers through my curls. The light scrape of her nails over my scalp sent tingles down my spine. “Tell me about your dream.”

I shook my head. I would never tell her about that awful night. There were some darker details about my past that she didn’t need to know. She would turn from me in revulsion, and I couldn’t bear that.

“Look at me,” she cajoled, tugging lightly at my hair.

My eyes locked on hers. They glittered through the darkness of the night, capturing the city lights that shone through the dimmed floor to ceiling window. The stars in her eyes were stunning, hypnotic.

“I’m not a good man,” I heard myself confess, the truth drawn from deep in my soul. I’d always known it, but I’d never allowed myself to contemplate it. I was unapologetic of my violent lifestyle because I knew the darker truths of the world.

But my parents would be ashamed of what I’d become. And now, I clung to precious Evelyn with bloodstained hands.

“I can’t change what I am. But I will be good to you, farfallina. I swear.”

She caressed my cheek, and I leaned into the tender touch. “I don’t want you to change,” she said in a fierce whisper. “I accept who you are, Massimo. All of you.”

“You don’t know all of me,” I admitted.

And she never would. I would shield her from the cruelest aspects of my life.