Page 131 of Monstrous Urges

“Yeah,” I choke. “You—” my voice breaks. His hand comes up to cup my cheek.

“Not the first time,” he smirks. “And honestly, not the worst.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” I mutter, slapping his hand.

He chuckles. Then his face darkens.

“LSD?”

I nod. “Yeah. Dr. Kruger ran our blood-work?—”

He hisses, his face lined and pained. “That fucker drugged you, too?”

“Oh, now he’s upset about me being drugged against my will.”

Drazen’s face doesn’t move. I grin weakly.

“That was…a joke, by the way.”

His eyes darken. “Did they…”

I shake my head. “No. Polina tried to help me, once I started to trip. Then Vadik came back and took her away and locked me in the room.” I shake my head. “Dr. Kruger said it was a mix of high potency LSD and an accelerant to speed up the way the drug is metabolized, making it hit faster and harder.”

He looks away, his nostrils flaring. “I’m going to destroy him. With or without the Iron Table.” His eyes flick back to mine, his face softening a little as he cups my cheek. “How did you get out?” He frowns. “Wait—did you say after the fighting?”

A chill runs through me as I remember the bodies and the blood.

Then I think about the hard truths I learned after Milos was able to disentangle reality from my nightmarish drug-induced hallucinations.

“Your men who came with us,” I say quietly. “They’re dead.”

Drazen’s jaw clenches.

“So are a lot of Vadik’s men.”

He frowns. “Milos?”

I shake my head. “Vadik had another enemy attack the house that day too. Milos and your men didn’t find any sign of Vadik, but there was a fight of some kind. It might actually be a small miracle that I was locked in one room, and you were in that basement.”

“You got us out, Taylor,” Drazen murmurs quietly. “You got us free.”

I tip my head back and forth. “Sort of. I guess. I had help.”

He frowns. “Polina?”

“No, I mean…” I roll my eyes. “It’s stupid, because it’s just the drugs. But I imagined what I think was a physical manifestation of my subconsciousness?” I laugh as I shake my head. “I mean, there were also neon butterflies and jellyfish and horrifyingly vivid images of my friends dying in front of me, so who the hell knows.”

Drazen’s mouth tightens. “I saw nightmares, too.”

I wince. “Of?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing that I need to remember.”

“After I found you,” I say as I slip my hand into his, “we got out of the house. I think there was still fighting going on, but I got us into the forest after I called Milos.”

We must have been there a while, since Milos was back here, on the island, and we were on the Black Sea. But the drugs went thermonuclear once Drazen and I were hidden away, and I honestly have no idea how many hours I spent huddled against him, holding on for dear life as I tried to push the terrors away.

Drazen exhales, sinking back into the pillows. “How long was I out?”