Page 13 of Fear of Flying

There was a beat of silence filled with some sort of excited restlessness, and just as Drew was about to let out a much-too-happy sigh, the meaning of Zach’s words finally registered. Shit, he was supposed to have found a place for them to have dinner. He blinked and shook himself. “I mean, uh, there... isn’t anywhere that takes a reservation, but... it looks like there are a few nice lounges that serve a light menu we could try to find a seat at. If you’re ready to, um, brave the crowd down there again.”

Zach smiled, maybe a bit nervously, and nodded, and Drew couldn’t help but wonder if Zach’s anxiousness was about the crowds or if... it was about this inexplicable connection they seemed to share. Did Zach feel it too?

Drew stood and grabbed his messenger bag, then slung it back over his head and shoulder and put his coat over his arm. He motioned in the direction of the escalator. “Ready?”

Zach nodded again, picked up his duffle bag, and then stood, and they both turned to head back downstairs. Maybe it was because of the intensity of the moments they’d shared on the plane, or maybe it was something else entirely, but Drew felt like he was somehow attuned to Zach’s physical reactions. And as they made it downstairs and further into the crowd, Drew noticed Zach’s tension growing.

Before he quite realized what he was doing, Drew reached for Zach’s hand and held it tightly, trying not to react too strongly to the wild fluttering starting in his stomach. Or the tingling he felt where their hands were joined. Or the slight hum and warmth of arousal that was spreading pleasantly throughout his entire body.

God, he was just holding Zach’s hand.

Drew tried to focus on walking without bumping into too many people. They passed a few different options—fast-casual, upscale, and in between—but everything was packed. So they continued weaving their way through the concourse and into the next, despite it being much farther from their gate. They still had plenty of time before they’d even need to check for updated flight information.

They spied yet another small restaurant with both tables and bar seating, and, miraculously, just as they were walking by, two patrons who had been sitting at the bar got up to leave. Wordlessly, they hurried up to the bar, set their bags and coats down, and each claimed a barstool.

The seats were crammed together, and Drew felt another strong flush of warmth as Zach settled into the seat next to him, their shoulders pressing together gently. With a nervous smile, Drew looked over to try and see if Zach was feeling it too. The flush of Zach’s cheeks and the way he ducked his head ever so slightly, a tentative smile edging onto his lips... not only told Drew what he’d wanted to know but also made his mouth go dry and his pulse start skittering everywhere.

“What’ll it be?” the woman behind the bar asked as she set a cocktail napkin that read Penn Brewery in front of each of them. She looked expectantly at Zach and then Drew.

“Jack and Coke,” Zach said.

“Old Fashioned with Four Roses,” Drew said. “And... menus, please.”

The bartender handed them each a menu with a warning that the kitchen was slammed, and then she turned away to make their drinks.

Zach tilted his head to look at Drew. “Fancy drink, eh?”

Drew crinkled his nose. “Not that fancy.”

“Sounds fancy.” Zach pushed into Drew’s shoulder just a bit and winked at him. “Roses, and all.”

The wink and the contact made Drew’s heart skip a beat, or at least it felt like it. “I just... um...”

“It’s fine, man. I’m just giving you a hard time,” Zach said playfully, and Drew smiled as he realized that this was likely closer to the real Zach, sans debilitating anxiety while flying and in large crowds.

That only made Drew like him more, want to know him more. Though, god, what he really needed to know was that he wasn’t alone in this feeling, this out of control, wildly wonderful and terrifying... whatever it was. Butterflies and blushing and desire and... something more.

The look Drew had seen in Zach’s eyes only minutes ago had assured him then, briefly. But now, a tickle of doubt seemed to be creeping in. Maybe he’d been wrong after all. Maybe he’d been imagining it, seeing what he wanted to instead of what was really there. This type of thing didn’t really happen to him anyway, did it? He tried catching Zach’s eye again, but the bartender came back with their drinks then, and Zach leaned away to grab his wallet from his back pocket.

“Did you decide what you want yet?” the bartender asked as she took Zach’s credit card from him to start a tab. Drew shook his head, as did Zach, and the bartender let them know to take their time before she moved away to help other customers.

Had he decided what he wanted? God, yes. Inexplicably, unfathomably, perplexingly... he wanted the man sitting next to him. And that admission set his heart racing in an entirely different way. He swallowed hard as he glanced down at the menu in front of him.

Drew had never wanted like this before, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He had no frame of reference for this and no safety net. Did it mean he wanted... some sort of hookup or one-night stand? Did it mean he wanted a relationship with Zach? Was there something in between that?

And could he even risk taking that chance?

Not for the first time today, he wondered if it even mattered. They were only here for a few hours, then there would be the flight to Dallas, and then he’d probably never see Zach again. Sure, they could exchange numbers and promise to text. But he’d done that before, and any sort of friendship that might have resulted had just fizzled out before it had even started. And those hadn’t even had this... attraction component.

This was more. More everything. And although he was entirely unsure whether he was ready to step outside of the safety of the life he’d built for himself, he couldn’t really deny that this—whatever seemed to be between him and Zach—was so different.

“Hey.” Zach’s soft voice and his hand on Drew’s thigh startled him out of his thoughts. “You okay? Things seem kinda serious... up there.” Zach pointed to Drew’s temple.

“Uh, yeah...” Damn, he couldn’t think with Zach’s blue eyes looking so intensely at him, so kind and full of concern. Nor with Zach’s hand on his thigh. “Um, I was just—just thinking.”

Zach leveled a gentle look at him, raising his eyebrows slightly. “That part was a bit obvious,” he whispered mock-conspiratorially, leaning just a little closer to Drew.

God, he—he had a really strong urge to kiss Zach right then and there in the middle of the airport in a sea of people. The intensity was all-consuming. His eyes flitted down to Zach’s lips and then back up to his eyes, and he swallowed thickly. Drew had never wanted to kiss anyone before in his life. He hadn’t even been sure it—this physical urge to kiss someone—was a feeling that actually existed outside of fiction.