Page 22 of Fear of Flying
Zach seemed a bit confused by the question, probably because the moment had been so heavy that his question was almost a non sequitur. “Uh... um, yeah.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, a soft smile on his perfect lips. “Was thinking we could find a movie to watch, but then I got distracted by how uncomfortable and unfunctional the furniture arrangement was. And then, um, I got distracted by... you.”
A wave of warmth rushed through Drew. “Oops?” He let out a breathy laugh, and then his eyes darted over toward the main bedroom and back to Zach. “Uh, there’s that TV in the bedroom, and the bed looks comfier than these chairs...”
A flush of heat—some heady blend of embarrassment and desire—hit him at the mere suggestion, and he watched as Zach’s eyes went wide. “Uh, yeah...” Zach managed after a moment.
“I, uh, not that I’m suggesting anything. I-I’m definitely still in unfamiliar territory here. I mean, not that we, um, can’t do anything. Because I-I wouldn’t mind doing more. More than kissing, I mean. Or, um, at least more kissing?”
God, he sounded like a fool, but when he looked at Zach’s grin and the blush coloring his cheeks, Drew kinda didn’t care how he sounded.
“I’d love to do that too,” Zach said, his voice slightly husky. “So a movie and more, um, kissing, but on the bed this time?” He raised an eyebrow and held out a hand for Drew.
With a grin, Drew nodded. Then he took Zach’s hand and tugged him in for another kiss, brief but with a little more intensity than even Drew expected. When he pulled back, he was still grinning. “Sounds like a really, really good idea,” he said before he snuck back in for another quick taste of Zach’s lips.
Hand in hand, they made their way into the bedroom. After another short bout of awkwardness as they tried to figure out how and where to sit on the bed, they finally settled next to one another with their backs against the headboard. They were close enough that Drew could feel the warmth from Zach’s body every time their arms brushed together.
While Zach fumbled with the remote control for the TV, Drew tried not to let himself think too much about what doing more than kissing might mean. An anxious thrill flooded through him, and he turned his gaze to Zach, who must have sensed him staring because he thumbed the mute button quickly and looked over at Drew.
“Found it. Finally,” Zach said, his voice a little rough. “Uh, what should we watch?”
Drew chuckled, though his breathing was slightly labored from the way Zach’s gaze seemed to be doing that smoldering thing again. And amidst the tug of longing in his heart and the butterflies in his stomach, there was this deep desire to know more about Zach, to know everything about him.
“What do you do?” Drew blurted out, even though it didn’t answer Zach’s question and had absolutely nothing to do with what was on the TV. He continued quickly, as though he couldn’t quite stop the words from coming out. “I mean, um, we talked about me and my ‘unfortunate’ career. But what do you do for work? You mentioned something about a nonprofit organization?”
Zach’s brow creased slightly, almost as though he were confused by the random change in topic, but then his expression softened. “Why is it unfortunate? I mean, yeah, lawyer.” He gave Drew a small, teasing grin. “But, jokes aside, why do you sound so... sad about it?”
Drew hadn’t expected that kind of response at all—so caring and empathetic—and something shifted in his heart, as if it was suddenly insistent on making even more room for Zach. “I, uh... You know, I don’t feel like I’ve ever taken the time to stop and think about it, not serious, actual thinking about it. I just know that I’m exhausted. And disillusioned, maybe?” He shrugged. “Maybe I don’t let myself think about it?”
“You can now... if you want. I’m happy to listen.” Zach put a hand on Drew’s thigh, his expression so caring and earnest it melted Drew’s heart.
Zach’s offer had been made so freely, so easily. He hadn’t even hesitated. Like he wanted to know more, not to satisfy his curiosity but to help Drew feel better. Drew’s gut reaction was to wave him off, tell him it wasn’t that important, didn’t matter... but something about the openness in Zach’s expression made him want to share. Maybe not all the day-to-day, nitty-gritty stuff, but...
“I studied family law, but I’m not even sure how I ended up where I am now. I’m a divorce attorney at a midsized law firm, and it’s... I’m tired. It’s a lot. And I can’t really relate to the partners or other associates because, uh, they’re all married or... um, straight, older, white... if you know what I mean. But it is what it is. I have plenty of job security.” Drew laughed humorlessly.
Zach gave Drew’s thigh a squeeze, something reassuring and kind. And Zach didn’t give him the lines he usually heard from his parents, like “That’s what you went to school for” or “It’s good money, you can support yourself and start a nest egg.” He just sat there and gave Drew these sympathetic eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I can see how that would wear on you.”
Drew put his hand on top of Zach’s on his thigh. “Thank you,” he said softly, and his heart squeezed when Zach turned his hand palm up so they could thread their fingers together. “Oh wow, that feels insanely nice.”
Zach smiled, dipping his head for a second. “Yeah, yeah, it does.”
“So... you never did answer what you do for a living,” Drew prompted.
“Oh, right.” Zach chuckled softly. “I, um, I’m the executive director of a midsized dog rescue organization.”
Drew’s heart flip-flopped madly in his chest, and he shook his head in disbelief. Zach fucking ran an animal charity. God, how perfect could he get?
“That’s really awesome! Wow.” Drew stared into Zach’s eyes again, but then shook himself mentally before he could get lost. “Wow. What—what’s it called?”
“Ruff House Dog Rescue,” Zach said with a grin.
Drew let out a peal of laughter, and after a moment, he said, “That’s fucking adorable.”
“We’re a very serious organization, I’ll have you know,” Zach teased, giving Drew’s hand a gentle squeeze.
Drew nodded, trying to look more straight-faced but probably failing. “I have no doubt, but it’s still funny and adorable as hell. What all kinds of things do you do, other than, you know, rescue dogs?”
“We offer community services too—low-cost vaccinations, spaying, neutering—and we’re trying to add... Actually, that’s why I was in New York this weekend, for a conference, trying to network and learn from other rescues who do outreach and education, mostly about pet overpopulation and ways people can help and be more involved. The overpopulation statistics in—” Zach stopped and shook his head. “Ah, sorry, nope. I won’t bore you or make you sad or whatever. We, um, yeah, we’re trying to get the community more involved at the local level. Oh my god, just... I should stop talking. Kissing, maybe we should go back to kissing practice?”
Drew’s heart was pounding out a rhythm that was... everything. It was everything. He brought their joined hands up to his mouth to kiss Zach’s knuckles, then shifted and brought his other hand up to cup Zach’s cheek briefly. “You... are amazing. Tell me more.”