Page 31 of Fear of Flying

Chapter Fourteen

Zach

Zach yanked his hand away from Drew’s inner thigh, his heart racing as if he’d been caught doing something inappropriate. And truth be told, being just about to touch his lover’s dick when his lover’s mom was calling felt like something very inappropriate. Drew’s panicked exclamation and his whole body tensing up had only reinforced the feeling for Zach.

Drew was scrambling frantically, sending the sheets and comforter flying in different directions. “Where’s my underwear? I can’t talk to my mom naked!”

Feeling panicked along with Drew, Zach stood to help search, scanning the bed and then the floor. He saw a pair near the nightstand and picked them up just as Drew held up a pair he’d found in the bed. “Shit, which ones are which?” Zach said, even as he was checking the tag. “Hanes. That must be you!” He tossed them to Drew in a hurry and caught the pair Drew threw his way.

His heart still racing, he put his boxer briefs on as Drew dropped his phone on the bed then stood to do the same. The phone’s buzzing had quieted in the last thirty seconds, but then it started again. Drew looked a bit wild-eyed, glancing at Zach first, then down at himself in only his boxers, and then at the phone.

Drew snatched it from the bed and slid his thumb across the screen to answer before holding it up to his ear. “Hey, Mom,” he said, managing not to sound too breathless. His eyes locked onto Zach’s for a moment that seemed almost suspended in time before Drew gave him an uneasy smile and turned his body slightly. “Ah no, no. I’m fine. Sorry I didn’t get to the phone right away. I was—yeah, yeah, I meant to call you sooner and, uh, lost track of time.”

Zach felt out of breath still, and there was a knot beginning to tie itself in his stomach. This had to be one of the most awkward moments possible, but it had to be more awkward for Drew, right? He glanced over at Drew, who was still standing there on the opposite side of the bed, talking to his mom in his underwear. Zach shook himself mentally. He should... leave the room. Yeah, he should. Give Drew some privacy to talk to his mom.

Drew looked over when Zach started walking out, and he gave Zach a tight nod before turning away again. “Yeah, haven’t done much of anything since the flights were all grounded... Yeah, I got a room...”

Zach closed the door behind him, his heart in his throat. Whatever Drew was saying to his mom didn’t necessarily mean anything. Other than Drew just feeling super caught off guard by a phone call from his mom during an intimate moment. After an emotional, vulnerable conversation.

And yep, it made perfect sense for Drew not to have said anything about Zach. Had Zach really expected him to say “Hey, Mom, I’m here with my new lover I just met and you kinda interrupted something”? Hell, if Zach’s mom had called right now, there was no way he’d have—

Shit. He’d forgotten to call his mom.

He loved that she was the “text me when you get home safely” type, especially given his fear of flying, but she could be a bit much sometimes when he’d forget. Technically, he was still kinda within that window of when he would have arrived home safely, so he’d just send her a quick text. No big deal.

Zach reached for his phone automatically, his brain sending signals before he could even remember that he had no pockets, nor was his phone in the same room. Still no big deal. He would just text her when Drew was off the phone and then pray it didn’t result in a long, drawn-out phone call. The kind where she’d ask all the questions he didn’t yet have the answers to—like, when is the airport reopening? when will you be able to get a flight? will you be home in time for brunch on Sunday? did you know blizzards can last that long? why do you always say I’m overbearing?

God, he loved her, but she was a lot sometimes.

Zach inhaled sharply at the image flashing in his mind of bringing Drew home for monthly brunch. At first, it made his heart clench with hope and robbed him of breath—the thought of finally, finally bringing someone home to meet his parents. But before he could let that thought take root, he realized what his mom was likely to do. Oh god, she’d scare Drew off before they ever figured out how long-distance relationships worked. Ask them for wedding dates and adoption plans for her future grandbabies as soon as Zach set foot in the door with a man on his arm. He didn’t even know if Drew wanted kids.

He sank into one of the armchairs and blew out a deep breath. He was getting way, waaaaay ahead of himself here.

It wasn’t like it was actually love at first sight.

Right?

God, he had no idea, and he was starting to feel really dumb. A familiar panic began to rise in his chest, the kind that warned him that there was massive potential for him to make a fool of himself. As much as this thing with Drew felt real, how the hell was he supposed to know for sure?

Just one thought of Drew’s touch or the look in his eyes or the sound of his laugh was enough to set Zach’s heart racing. The feeling was so good, so perfect, and all he wanted was more of it, the swell of warmth and comfort and calm that was just so magical. So magical that it was all too easy to let his mind play things out in a logical progression of events. Love and marriage and kids and happily ever after.

Not that he knew what it really meant to be in a relationship.

All he knew was that the idea of ever being with anyone but Drew made his heart ache and his stomach churn. And that they seemed to work so well together—effortlessly—like they might be able to skip right past all the awkward first dates and fall in love so hard they’d barely be able to figure out which way was up.

But Zach knew nothing about love. For all he knew, all of these feelings might just be hormones and pheromones and stuff. Maybe this was just what attraction and sex did to people. Maybe he just thought he was in love.

Zach buried his head in his hands as he sat there in his underwear. He hated that his anxiety would always force feed him every possible thing that could go wrong, making his chest tighten and his heart race—and not in a good way. His mind always did this. Usually, usually it was fine. When he had his routine—going to work, hangouts with friends, sometimes the gym, monthly brunch—there was a certain rhythm to his life, and it was easier to push away all the anxious, negative thoughts.

But when he had business trips or when Jen dragged him out to the clubs—god, just being off his routine or out of his regular environment—it was easier for the anxiety to take hold. And this—today—this was a lot. More than a lot.

Somehow, though, somehow Drew had been his seatmate on the plane. This man who seemed to just intuitively know what Zach had needed. He’d held his hand. Talked him down from more than one panic attack. Made him feel comfortable on a level he’d never been before. Comfortable but also on edge—in the most amazing way.

And touching him. Kissing him. Holding him. Making love to him...

All of it felt so right and so magical and... God, the look in Drew’s eyes when he got lost in Zach’s was just...

It all had to be real.