Page 61 of Fear of Flying

“Nuh-uh.” Drew’s lips found Zach’s earlobe and sucked gently, his hands still caressing Zach’s ass. Then came the ragged whisper in his ear. “I have a thing for you, Superman.”

Zach’s heart clenched, aching in a way that was either painful or wonderful, he wasn’t sure which. All he knew was that he might die if he never got to see Drew again, never found out why he’d left. And all the anxiety in the world wouldn’t stop him from trying to win Drew back.

He tried to take some deep breaths to center himself again, but it was no use. Now more than ever, he needed to just go. If Jen wasn’t here in five minutes, he was just going to leave.

The doorbell rang, and he sagged with relief. Though he was still slightly annoyed that Jen didn’t just walk right in—he’d left the door unlocked like usual. He jogged the short distance from his bedroom to the front door and started opening it. “Jen, you’re killing me, you know—”

His lungs stopped working, and he couldn’t move a muscle for what seemed like a full minute but was hopefully only seconds. Zach wasn’t sure he believed his eyes, but as his breathing kicked back in and an amazing warmth and tingling spread throughout his entire body all at once, he knew it had to be real.

Zach’s eyes darted from Drew’s head to his feet, back to his bright, gray-blue eyes, and then down to his dog. “You have a dog?” he blurted out, and fuck if that was the first thing he’d wanted to say to Drew when he saw him again, but Zach was not in control.

Drew nodded and then just sorta kept nodding slightly as though he couldn’t find his voice but needed to just keep telling Zach yes to all the things. Oh god, he hoped that were true.

Zach inhaled sharply, unable to stop staring into Drew’s eyes—eyes that just days ago he’d been certain he’d never see again. His throat was tight, and he knew but didn’t care that the tears were coming. “You’re here,” he whispered roughly.

Drew had stopped nodding, but he gave Zach another quick dip of his head in acknowledgement. “I’m here.”

Zach was still maddeningly frozen in place, as though his heart was afraid to let him make that first move, like he needed confirmation that Drew was here for him.

And Drew seemed to understand. Zach watched him take in a trembling breath before he stepped forward, closing the distance between them and then reaching up to cup Zach’s cheek. Zach closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth and solid reality of Drew’s hand, his heart jumping erratically with every breath.

When he reopened his eyes, he found Drew focusing on his face as though he was memorizing Zach all over again. Drew seemed to be lost in Zach’s eyes for a long moment, but then Drew’s gaze flitted down to Zach’s lips and back, as if asking permission, and this time, Zach was the one nodding.

Drew dipped down to capture his lips, almost achingly slow, and Zach found himself leaning into it, whimpering at the taste and feel of Drew’s lips caressing his own so tenderly, almost tentatively. Zach wanted them both to feel more sure, wanted Drew to know that he was all in, that he wanted everything Drew had to offer. So he snaked his hands up around the back of Drew’s neck, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. Drew moaned his approval, sending a jolt of desire down Zach’s spine.

God, it was exhilarating and amazing and so comfortable, instantly familiar again, like coming home. Zach didn’t want the kiss to ever end because he was sure he’d never get his fill, but then something bumped against his knee, making him lose his balance just slightly. Their mouths separated, both of them moaning lightly in protest and confusion until they looked down.

“Mi-lo,” Drew said, his voice low and husky.

It took Zach a second longer than it normally would have to process those two drawn-out syllables, but once he did, his heart leapt a bit more. “Milo?” he asked, looking at Drew. “You brought Milo?”

Drew nodded again, clearing his throat and reaching up to rub the back of his neck a bit anxiously. “Yeah. I, uh, I kinda adopted him. Took a leave of absence. And hopped in my car and drove to New Mexico.”

“Just like that? No plan?”

He shook his head. “Not really. Just ‘get to Zach,’ that was my plan, and I have no idea what I’m doing now, and to be honest, I’m a little bit terrified. A lot terrified. Not—not of you, not of u-us. It’s just that you’re one of six people in the world who know I’m... gay. And that includes Jen.”

In an instant, Zach gathered Drew back in his arms, hugging him fiercely and pressing a kiss into his neck, his fingers threading through Drew’s hair. “Oh, baby, I’ve got you.” Zach kissed his neck again and held him tighter as Drew’s body seemed to sag with relief. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.”

He pulled back slightly, Drew’s arms still wrapped around him, and he brought his hands up to Drew’s face, trailing his fingertips over Drew’s scruffy beard and his cheeks and his forehead and his lips. And then he looked Drew straight in the eyes and said, “I love you. I love you just the way you are. To me, you’re perfect. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And I’ll love you whether you’re in the closet or out. I just want to be with you, Drew.”

Drew’s eyes were searching his, almost as if he wasn’t sure he could believe Zach’s words were true. Then Drew took a shuddering breath in and let it out, and Zach wiped away the tears that had slipped from Drew’s eyes, first from one cheek and then the other.

Despite his declaration of love hanging yet unanswered in the impossibly small space between them, Zach felt surprisingly little anxiety as he waited. Here, in Drew’s arms, after Drew had driven half the day without a plan, just to get to him, Zach felt only certainty—that feeling that he was right where he was meant to be.

And then Milo nudged at them again and offered a long, low howl. Zach chuckled lightly, and Drew gave him a shaky smile. Zach brushed a quick but gentle kiss on Drew’s lips before squatting down to talk to Milo. “You, sir, have the worst timing!”

Milo tried to respond with a lick, his large wet tongue lapping at the air as Zach dodged it but lost his balance, falling back onto his butt. He could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment, but then the sound of Drew’s laughter kinda made it all worth it. Milo, for his part, was sniffing curiously, probably wondering why Zach was on the ground, and Zach ended up with a cold, wet nose in his ear.

“Are you just gonna laugh at me? Or are you gonna be my hero and rescue me?” Zach complained playfully. He half wondered where all this confidence had come from, though he didn’t dwell on the thought long when Drew chuckled again and reached out his hand for Zach to grab. Drew pulled him up with one smooth movement that brought their faces only inches apart.

“Are you okay?” Drew asked, a hint of teasing in his voice even though Zach could still see the anxiousness and guilt in his eyes.

“I suppose I’ll survive,” Zach answered softly with a smile. “You might have to take care of me, though.”

Zach could swear he heard Drew’s breath hitch, and for a moment, he worried that he’d said too much, loaded every word with too much emotion and meaning, especially after declaring his love so boldly. But then Drew brought a hand up to his waist, Drew’s fingers pressing gently into him as Drew leaned in just a little closer.

“I’m sorry,” Drew said, his voice breaking slightly.