Page 63 of Fear of Flying
“Wait, wait! There were other pictures there!”
Drew froze. He’d been so preoccupied with getting here, getting to Zach, and then being here, that’d he’d nearly forgotten he had them. “I, uh—”
“Send, send! Go ahead and send your message and then gimme your phone.” Zach grinned up at him with a giddy, hopeful smile.
Drew nodded, finished up his message, and sent it, feeling a nervous fluttering in his chest, though thankfully it was tempered by the warmth of Zach’s body still against his. After setting his status to Do Not Disturb, he thumbed his way back to the photo album and hesitated, not giving Zach his phone just yet.
Drew let out a small huff, anxious about Zach’s reaction. He felt the need to explain so he didn’t seem... like a creep. “I, um... I took these before I—before I decided to leave. It wasn’t, um—I’d just wanted to see what it looked like, me holding you, what we looked like together.”
He handed his phone over, and he felt Zach’s breath catch when Zach finally saw the picture fully. “And what did it look like?” Zach’s voice was a rough whisper, and his eyes were on Drew now.
“Like a dream come true.”
Zach inhaled shakily and wrapped his arms around Drew, holding him tight. His head came to rest against Drew’s chest as though he was trying to hear Drew’s heartbeat.
Zach hadn’t asked for any explanation, or maybe he was planning on waiting until later, but Drew needed to tell him. To let him know how much he’d wanted to stay. To let him know why he’d thought he’d had to leave.
“I was holding every dream and wish I’d ever had right there in my arms,” Drew said, his voice raspy. “And I-I started seeing forever and all the things I’d thought I could never have. So I searched and searched online for everything I’d need to do to move here and be with you. Everything. And—and then I was scared, scared that—”
Zach put a hand on Drew’s chest, right over his heart, and he seemed to be waiting for Drew to find his voice again. God, he didn’t deserve this man’s kindness or forgiveness, or his love.
“I wasn’t sure I’d be able to... come out, to give you the life I know you deserve, one with a partner who’s not hiding. I didn’t want you to have to wait for me if I could never... get there, being out. I didn’t want you to miss out on finding a forever with someone who could be everything for you, who could—”
“I don’t want anyone else,” Zach cut in, and then almost urgently, he moved so that he was straddling Drew’s lap, and he brought his hands up to frame Drew’s face, looking deeply into his eyes. “I want you,” he whispered.
“I still don’t know if I can do it, but—but I had to just get here. I needed—I need—you. And I’m sorry if—”
“Drew, I love you. Right here, right now, right where you’re at.” Zach took a shuddering breath, dipped his head down and closed his eyes for a second, and then he looked up, meeting Drew’s gaze. “Do you love me?” Zach asked in a shaky voice.
God, Drew hadn’t told him yet, he hadn’t said the words. But his throat was so tight with emotion, he wasn’t sure he could talk. So he nodded, repeatedly, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Then nothing else matters. We’ll figure it out. Together. Whatever you need.” Zach’s thumbs moved across his cheeks to brush away his tears. “I love you, and I want to be with you.”
“I love you too,” Drew managed finally, and something shook loose inside of him, warmth and love and relief and joy all blooming inside his chest.
Zach had tears falling now too, and Drew would have swept them away, but the need to kiss him right then was so fierce. He reached up to frame Zach’s face and tugged Zach down to his lips. It was achingly tender and filled with so much love and affection and everything else all at once. And heat too—his body reminding him what they’d had last week. Drew’s hands held Zach close as their mouths moved in tandem, and Zach seemed to melt into his embrace.
The moment was interrupted by a newly familiar snoring sound, and Drew found himself smiling into the kiss. He captured Zach’s lips one more time before pulling back and glancing over at the other end of the couch. “I guess he thinks we’re pretty boring.”
“I guess so.” Zach laughed, then wiped away a few more stray tears from Drew’s cheeks before letting his hands slide down to Drew’s neck. “Are you okay?”
“Are we okay?”
Zach nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured, bringing one hand up to trace his fingertips across Drew’s brow as though he was trying to smooth away Drew’s worry as easily as he’d taken away the tears. “We’re okay, baby.”
Drew’s heart squeezed. He was still a bit terrified of what the future might hold, but Zach’s tenderness and reassurance made everything feel infinitely safer than it had last week. It felt like he had a parachute, a safe place to land—and now, there wasn’t any rush to jump.
Zach’s perfect blue eyes were searching Drew’s face, his expression holding a bit of wonder, maybe. Wonder and love and desire. And god, he felt the same. Drew closed his eyes as Zach’s hand settled on his cheek again, and then Zach tugged him forward for another kiss. This one was just as perfect as the rest—less charged with heavy emotion but no less meaningful and no less exquisite. Zach’s tongue sought entrance, pressing gently at his lips, and Drew eagerly let him in, loving the way it felt as Zach’s tongue swept through his mouth.
Drew caressed Zach’s jean-clad thighs, both comforted and aroused by the feel of Zach’s solid weight straddling him. As their mouths and tongues and lips teased and soothed and tangled, his arousal began to stir, their heartfelt reunion developing into something more sensual and needy.
God, he needed Zach. The ache was almost painful, so strong that it almost felt selfish, and it made him hesitant to ask. Even as Zach’s lips caressed a path along his jawline and down his neck, clearly indicating Zach’s intentions, Drew wasn’t sure he’d ever feel deserving enough for this love Zach was so freely offering. Zach’s kisses were warm and wet and increasingly more arousing, and Drew couldn’t resist sliding his hands up from Zach’s thighs and around to his backside, pulling him closer against his burgeoning erection.
“Make love to me,” Zach whispered in his ear, nuzzling gently at his neck.
“Always.” His reply was immediate and raw with emotion, and he trembled as Zach pulled back slightly to look in his eyes.
And there was Zach, studying his face again as though he wanted to memorize every inch of it. Drew’s heart twisted at the thought that some part of Zach certainly feared Drew would leave again. But the longer Drew watched his eyes and felt his touch, the more he settled into the sense of trust and love that seemed to be building and growing with every second.