Page 79 of Tongue-Tied
He pauses the game. “All right, something’s up.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been acting weird the past couple of days.” He thumps my shoulder. “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
My pulse is throbbing, but I almost can’t keep it inside anymore.
“I don’t want to betr—is it all right to speak only in hypotheticals?”
“Absolutely. Just go for it.”
“Okay, um…” I fiddle with the buttons on the controller. “What if you had a friend who’s never done the deed. And…they just want to get it over with, so they ask you to help them out.”
He throws me a meaningful look. “I see your dilemma.”
I blow out a breath, relieved to get it all out. “Of course, I’d like to help so the experience is less terrible.”
“God, don’t remind me,” he groans. “Is anyone’s first time amazing?”
“I mean, there’s gotta be someone out there.” I swallow, remembering my own had been quick and unfulfilling.
Milo laughs hollowly, then waits for me to get my thoughts together.
“But…will he resent me later?” I throw out. “Say, when he finally falls in love and wishes he could redo his first time with that person?”
Milo studies me for a long moment.
“It was my first time with Lisa. Hers too,” Milo says, and I can see the hurt in his expression but also the love. Maybe Austin is right that it’s romantic. Jesus, what has he done to me?
“Makes sense since you were both so young.”
“Yeah…and it was awful.” He snickers, recalling the memory. “But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way because we learned and grew together.”
“Sure, you were in a relationship.” I shrug, not understanding his logic.
He shakes his head. “Not at the beginning. We were friends first, and both of us wanted to lose our virginity, so we made a pact.”
I straighten. “Whoa, you didn’t tell me that part.”
“Yep.” He has a faraway look in his eyes. “And that experience bonded us together instead of driving us apart. It’s hard to explain. The way we fumbled around, it could’ve been really awkward afterward, but it wasn’t.”
“Suppose I can see that.”
“All that to say, as long as you keep communication open, it doesn’t have to be a miserable thing. It can be special, memorable, even if it’s awful.”
“Thanks, man.” I feel lighter despite not having made up my mind yet. “Ready for me to kick your ass?”
Milo grins and picks up the controller. “You wish.”
But before we can get going, my phone rings. I looked down at my cell to see a call from my mom. “Sorry, I should probably get this.”
“No worries.”
Mom and I have only talked through text messages since her breakup with Tim. I head upstairs to our bedroom to take the call.
“Hey there.”
“Guess what?” Her voice has that excited tone I recognize all too well. “Remember I told you about my new manager?”