Page 39 of Twisted Bonds
“I’m sorry,” I breathe out, “I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine.” The words rush out reflexively. He looks away from me, his jaw hardening.
Before I can say more, we arrive back in my rooms. Callum places me gently on the lounge chair that has become my temporary home, backing out without a word.
“Thank you,” I call to his back. “Will you come back?” His hand rests on the doorframe as he turns back, taking me in once more with a long, assessing gaze. I hurriedly add, “When you’re ready. I… I want to talk to you. Get to know you better.”
A small wash of relief hits me when he nods his head before disappearing. I glance at the retreating sun, knowing Tairyn will probably return for dinner. Luckily, only ten minutes pass before Callum knocks on my door again, this time fully clothed.
I smile warmly at him as he walks in, his eyes darting between me and the open balcony behind me. I realize he hasn’t been outside in months.
“Will you sit on the balcony with me?” Without waiting for a reply, I stand up to make my way to the two wrought-iron chairs. Without hesitation, Callum is beside me, his arm snaking around my waist. My leg is feeling much better after the short rest, but I don’t mind him being next to me.
After helping me into my chair, I watch him inhale the fresh air deeply as he settles into his own. His eyes trace the mountain peaks, assessing more than admiring. “The Western Slopes,” he says under his breath with a sense of satisfaction that makes me smile. A sense of peace seems to spread through him as his shoulders droop slightly. His fingers idly rub the loose fabric of his shirt as he takes in our surroundings.
After a while, I pry my eyes away from him and let them settle on the now-orange glow of the sunset over the snowy peaks. The silence is comfortable, like sitting with an old friend.
Finally, as the last rays of day dip beneath the horizon, I ask the question that’s been on my mind. “Why didn’t you tell me who you are?”
He shows no outward surprise at the sudden interruption of our peace. In fact, for a long moment he doesn’t react. When I wonder whether he heard me at all, he finally turns to me, locking eyes. “I’m sorry, Mira. I did not intend to deceive you, and I apologize if it caused you any pain.”
A genuine apology for something I’m not even upset about. Sure, in the moment I felt a stab of anger, but it faded quickly. “I appreciate the apology, but you didn’t answer the question.”
His mouth twists into a frown, brows furrowed as he stares at hands now still in his lap.
“I suppose I was…afraid. It’s easier to be a stranger, sometimes. No expectations, no preconceived notions.”
I sit quietly, taking in his words. His answer is as raw and honest as I might have hoped for, and it makes my heart ache because I understand that sentiment too well. You can’t disappoint someone if they expect nothing from you. How many people have I kept at arm’s length for a similar reason, even refusing freely offered help by people I know care for me?
Because I didn’t feel worthy of their time or love. I didn’t feel worthy of the space I occupied in their minds.
I reach across the empty space between us, grabbing his hand in mine. I almost miss the subtle flinch as my fingers wrap around his. My heart stills for a moment. “Is this okay?” I ask. He gives a curt nod that signals to me it clearly is not. But before I can pull away, he wraps his fingers into mine with a soft squeeze.
“I enjoy spending time with you, Callum.”
The words dance between us before I even realize I’ve spoken them out loud. His eyes catch mine, holding my gaze for a moment before fluttering away. “My company isn’t exactly…desirable,” he says, a darkness casting over his features.
“That’s for me to decide, isn’t it?” I ask, squeezing his hand tighter. He doesn’t reply, but there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as he looks back towards the vast expanse of Illuemera. We sit in silence again, allowing the stars to blanket the sky above us. For a while, I just absorb the beauty of the night sky in this magical realm, letting it soothe the aches in my heart.
The quiet longing for home, for normal.
The ache for sweet Callum, so earnest yet with a river of turmoil beneath the surface that I can’t quite reach.
The endless curiosity and worry for Bobble and Sunder. Where are they right now? What sort of trouble have they gotten themselves into? Do they even know I’m alive?
But the most confusing knot inside me is for Tairyn. It feels like there’s so much behind the curtain, waiting to be unveiled. His sharp wit, his sarcasm, the way he spins words like a master weaver - somehow, it all feels like a façade, a mask he wears to keep others at bay. A part of me yearns to chip that mask away, to see what lays beneath.
After everything that happened with my ex-husband, I remind myself to focus on actions rather than words. So, what do Tairyn’s actions tell me?
I don’t have much time to ponder that as the door to my room opens behind us, as if my thoughts have summoned him. I notice the way Tairyn’s eyes immediately narrow to where our hands are clasped together. Jumping up, I drop Callum’s hand like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and shame washes over me.
What is wrong with me?
Callum rises to his feet slowly, his jaw tight as he steps back into the airy sitting room where Tairyn waits by the door. “Glad to see you’re enjoying yourself, Cal. Now you understand being my honored guest has its benefits. Shall I come back tomorrow?”
The last is directed at me, but I don’t miss the way Callum’s demeanor changes completely. I consider telling him yes just to spite him, but I’m ready to get this shield off me and see if I can reach Sunder and Bobble through the bond.
“No, I’m ready now.”