Page 95 of Twisted Bonds
He winces, like my words are a physical blow. “That’s not how I meant it.”
The room falls into silence, the tension between thick as honey. The only sound is the crackling of the fire, hollow echoes bouncing around the corners of the room. “It’s not just dangerous for you, Mira. It’s dangerous for everyone. If we fail and he needs you for his ritual, there’s no reason to make that easier for him.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I know. It’s not that I disagree with you. It just hurts my feelings that you guys didn’t even ask for my input. I’m scared. I can’t help protect you all if I’m locked up here behind these walls. What if something happens? I’ll never forgive myself.”
The plain truth. It tumbles from my lips as my voice begins to crack. Callum kneels on the ground in front of me, grabbing my hand in his and presses my palm to his scarred cheek. “I will do everything in my power to bring us all back safely to you. I’ll even channel my Chroma.”
His mouth twists on that word with disgust. “You still haven’t channeled yet?”
“It’s the root of all injustice and inequality in this realm. It’s vile that way the Gods bless some and scorn others. I won’t do it lightly.”
Of course, Callum takes a moral opposition to the one thing that will save us all, but at least he’s willing to do it when he must. I take a shuddering breath, uncurling myself to lean into him. His arm wraps around me as I bury my nose into his neck, blinking away the sting in my eyes. His lips press gently against my cheek. “Please come back.”
His hand smooths my long hair against my head, his caress melting me into a puddle. I’ve missed his touch. It feels like ages since we’ve held each other like this. Without a second thought, I ask, “Where are Sunder and Bobble?”
The question is innocent, but I feel him stiffen around me as I try not to wince. Such a delicate dance between us. “Sorry, I just—” I add quickly as I pull back, but he cuts me off.
“No, it’s okay. They are preparing for tomorrow. Cor’than’s given us each a legion of men to command.”
“Why aren’t you with them, then?”
He shrugs, climbing to his feet and pulling me with him. “We could all sense you up here seething. I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate until we resolved this. I don’t want to leave you still angry with me.”
All the anger suddenly curdles in my stomach, replaced with guilt. “No, I don’t want that either.”
Callum lets out a heavy sigh, nodding his head. “You’ll want to go talk to them then.”
It’s not a question. Instead, it’s more like resignation. A heavy weight settles in my chest, and my heart aches for him. The pain of feeling inadequate, of always being second best. The swirling mix of emotions inside him - jealousy, uncertainty, longing - is all too familiar to me. I know what it’s like feeling like you’re never enough.
With Tairyn, it was almost like a game, taunting him with my many loves. He seemed to relish the challenge and his unwavering self-assurance made it clear that he knew he was superior. In his eyes, there was no competition.
But Callum…
“I’m new to this too, you know? I’ve never been in love with multiple people before. The last thing I want is to cause you pain. I’m sorry if I’ve done things to make this more difficult on you.”
He shakes his head at last. “No, you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who needs to learn to share you. I am… I will try.”
In his eyes, his pain and determination are clear, and I have no choice but to believe him. I pop up on my tiptoes and press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”
He holds my gaze for a moment, so intense that my insides flutter deep in my belly. “Thank you for being patient with me, Mira.”
forty-six
Sunder
There is something soothing about the rhythmic motion of the horse while the leather of the saddle squeaks beneath me. We’re finally on our way to confront Yurghen, and despite the danger, being saddle sore, and moving too slow for my taste, I’m in a good mood for once.
My mind alternates between drifting endlessly through a tranquil abyss and being on high alert seeking danger. By day two, I’m getting restless as my thoughts drift back to Mira the night before our departure.
Once the Fourth had his moment with her upstairs, Bobble and I eventually found her near the empty kitchens in the darkest hours of the night packing some treats for us to take in saddle bags. I laughed when I pulled out a handful of jerky from mine; her delighted, impish grin.
We knew there’d be no sleep that night. Too many questions. Too much desperation not to be apart. As her hands busied themselves with preparing our food, I watched the curve of her hips sway gently. She was humming an old tune under her breath, a melody from her world that felt strangely comforting yet alien in Illuemera.
My mind wanders, imagining bending her over the counter where she worked by candlelight, lifting her dress slowly to reveal her lacy panties.
“We should be there tomorrow by nightfall,” a gruff voice says to me. I cough, clearing my throat as I shift in my saddle, trying to hide the evidence of my daydream. I didn’t hear Cor’than approach. Glancing over my shoulder, I meet Bobble and Callum’s gaze and in unison they fall back, leaving us some space to speak in private.
Cor’than notices the space too and suddenly seems uncomfortable, shifting in his own saddle.