Page 32 of Trusting Her Bear

“This is the part of the story I’ve never told anyone. I didn’t want to relive it when I was back home. Breeane doesn’t even know,” I say. Quinn leans forward, his elbows on his knees, and cups my hands between his. I want to build something with him, and I have to be honest. There is no denying that he is my mate, and I want him.

“I skipped over how I got to the games. I lived a state away from here, and for some reason, no one asked how I ended up here.” I look down at our hands and stare. “I had to travel in the car with them. My date sat beside me the whole way, talking with his friend, laughing, and periodically giving me a shot. He had to keep the drugs in my system to keep me out of it enough to go hundreds of miles without a fight.

“They would go through drive-throughs to get food for themselves. My date, Colon, would put his arms around me and pull me in, pretending we were a couple, snuggling in the back. My lips wouldn’t work; they were numb. I was so hungry, but they wouldn’t feed me.

“Time didn’t exist for me anymore. I had no idea how long I was in that car or how long it took us to get there. Even though I was out of it, I remember the degradation I felt when he watched me use the toilet. I could barely hold myself up, but the shame I felt inside was massive. I didn’t want them to rape me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight. That was the worst part.”

“Did they?” Quinn growls.

“No. I couldn’t do much, but I would have known if they took my shorts off. But he did plenty of touching whenever he felt like it.” Quinn’s hands flex on mine. “I hated him. I hated the man who willingly helped kidnap me and drove as if it were a fun road trip. I had no idea how many or what drugs were in my system. I couldn’t feel my bear anymore.”

“Do you know, when they put me in a cage, I was relieved? I was grateful to be out of the car and stuck in a small cage with a lock. I cried. I fucking cried, so fucking thankful to be out of that car. Those two men were the ones that shoved me in there and locked it. They grinned and shook hands with the man who was running the show. They helped him take shifters so they could play their game and hunt them.

“Maybe if I would have eaten the days before I arrived, I would have held off eating the dog food they gave us, but I was starving. I needed something to help absorb the drugs. Their hand wasn’t out of the cage from pouring it into the bowl before I lunged for it. I had no thoughts of trying to escape while they had the door open. They had already put the collar around my neck beforehand, so it would have been pointless to run. It would shock you if you tried, and I witnessed many shifters try.

“Everything was pointless from that point on. I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t run. I had no hope. The drugs wore off, and I had moments I thought that it would have been better if they hadn’t. The pain, shame, and anger would have been dulled.” A rumbling starts from deep in Quinn’s chest. I wrap my thumbs around his to hopefully comfort him.

“The rules were simple. Human men paid to chase, to hunt shifters through the woods. If they catch you, they win. They win in taking our pride, our independence, and our humanity. You ran. You hid. You tried to survive until morning or night—they weren’t picky on the time they held the game.

“I was lucky to be small, and I could climb. I would pick different trees, the tallest ones I could find. The men were human and rarely attempted to come after you. They carried dart guns. If they were a good enough shot, they could shoot you out of the tree; I saw it happen.

“The day came when Ava was put in the cage beside mine. I thought it was odd because she was human. I had given up talking to anyone, but I had to know why they took her. She was angry and had hope that her mates would come for her. I thought she was stupid for believing. The witch who was hiding the area wouldn’t let that happen. I hated her. Logically, I knew she was being used just like all of us, but at the time, I didn’t give a shit.

“I learned later the witch helped Kerian and River and all the rest find us. I regret my words toward Ava. She saved us. She saved me.

I bring my eyes back to Quinn. “I don’t know why I felt the need to come back here. I have a hard time being in a car with the windows up. I don’t like driving long distances. When I saw the town in the distance, I lost it. I panicked, and the reason I was moving here didn’t seem important anymore. I was the one who asked Breeane to come here. I made this plan, and when I was shaking on the side of the road, I thought, ‘Why the fuck am I here?’

“My family has been treating me like I can’t move without one of them in my shadow, and I was sick of it. How can I be so ungrateful? I was broken, and they just wanted to put me back together. I’ve been hiding. How can I heal? All the reasons I was here flew away. But then Breeane called excited, and I remembered. I had to do this. I want to move on. I don’t want the memories of those men and that cage to rule my life,” I rasp. “I want to be fucking normal again.”

Quinn’s eyes are glowing. “You will never be normal again.”

“What?” I breathe.

“Your past doesn’t define you, but it does shape you into the woman you are today. Normal is overrated. Normal is boring. You are stronger for going through all that shit. Do I wish you hadn’t been forced to? Yes. Do I wish I could torture the men who kidnapped you? Hunted you? Fuck yes. I would tear them apart for even looking in your direction.” He scoops me from the chair and walks to the couch. He sits and keeps me on his lap. “It was not your fault. You were the victim of humans who wanted to take back the power. If they hadn’t drugged you, you would have been able to kill them.”

“I should have smelled the drugs,” I say, my head bowed.

“Fuck that,” he snarls. “You don’t know what kind of drug they used.”

“I didn’t fight,” I say weakly.

“You were smart. You knew the odds, and you did the only thing that would help you survive. The key is, you survived.”

“I have so many issues.”

“Little Cub, we all do.”

“Why would you want me for a mate?” I voice my concern.

“Do not let me ever hear you talking like that about yourself again,” he grumbles, his hand grasping my neck, forcing my face an inch from his. “My mate is strong, beautiful, and brave.”

“I haven’t felt brave,” I admit.

“You came back to the place that traumatized you, by yourself, to build a life. You gave your best friend a chance to escape her family. If you hadn’t done that, she wouldn’t have met her mates.”

“Maybe.”

“You were supposed to come here.” He lowers his lips to mine, almost touching. “You came here to meet me. Your mate was here, and the universe and your bear knew it. I am your protector. I will always protect you.”