Page 13 of His Vicious Vow

I’m not picky and grab the first t-shirt I touch. Taking off the camisole I blush as I remember loving how he tore my clothes off me. What the hell is the matter with me? I should have smacked his beautiful face instead of begging for him to let me come.

The skirt is ruined, and my panties aren’t any better. Crap, I have no idea where the buttons are for my blouse. Face flaming, I round up everything and stuff it into the bottom of my closet.

I throw myself down on my bed and wrap my comforter around me. What the hell was that? How did he turn me from angry and wanting to slap him to having a screaming orgasm when I hate him so much? This isn’t my hot as fuck manga, this is real life and I need to get my shit together.

This wasn’t fair. He’s an asshole. He doesn’t care about me. I close my eyes against him saying all that about knowing why I cosplayed Sailor Moon. How he resented how young I was and getting I didn’t have a choice. He was only trying to manipulate me.

I softened at his words—that’s why he was able to turn me inside out until I wanted to go down on my knees and beg for more. His kiss was so intoxicating my knees went out from under me—how humiliating. I love kissing, it’s my favorite thing to do in the world and Sandro kissed in a way I knew he would make love: slow to start as he discovered every inch of my mouth then deep and drugging until I couldn’t care less if I ever breathed air again as long as his mouth was on mine.

Then he destroyed everything I thought I knew by going down on me. I’ve been masturbating since I was fourteen years old and found a fan fiction site with some of the best smut in the world. I’ve given myself thousands of orgasms since, none came close to what he did to me.

The way he went down on me was like his kiss times ten. Slow, almost sweet then deeper, hungrier like he couldn’t get enough of me. With the guys before, only one did I get beyond a kiss. He pushed his fingers inside me without any preparation and it was painful and felt icky.

I’m not sure if I’m mad or not he thinks I’m not a virgin. Although from his angle, after the several boyfriends I’ve attempted to have and how long I was seeing Ben for, I would have assumed I wasn’t a virgin either. He simply didn’t get I was raised by a strict Italian nonna who instilled a deep distrust of men.

Growing up mafia…a double-edged sword of being prepared and being fucked up by being forced to be an adult way too soon. Nonna taught us to get out of handcuffs at eight, I could crack a safe the year I turned nine to open the safe holding my present. Learning to shoot happened the year I turned eleven, how to disable and even kill someone with a few blows when I was thirteen.

Yet as women we were also taught to cook all the important Italian dishes for our husbands. Then we learned about poisons we could make from common ingredients in case those husbands hurt us. Nonna said no way in hell were we going to have the life she did with nonno. She also told us often that men were not to be trusted, they only wanted sex and would use and manipulate us to get what they wanted.

The knock on my door is so soft I barely hear it. Fuck, it’s my mom. I roll off the bed and open the door, intent on talking to her outside of my room, not wanting her to see how bare it is. Although I doubt she knows what it looks like, she hasn’t been in it since nonna died.

I step out of my room. “What?”

Her eyes are wide with hurt. Too fucking bad. I had forgiven her for what she didn’t do when I was a five-year-old kid stuck in the hospital. Yet at every turn she let me and Celia down again and again. It was all about her and Carlo, they never left room for us.

“Carina, please, let me explain—”

“Explain what? I’ve begged you several times to let me go and live my own life. He doesn’t want me. You and Carlo don’t want me. Fine. I’m glad. I don’t want you either. If you ever gave a fuck about me, let me go.” I hate that I’m begging. I hate she sees me crying.

She touches my arm, I shake her off. Her sigh is loud. “Your marriage will happen. Stop being so dramatic.”

“Fuck you. You were never a mother. I should have known better. I wish it was you instead of nonna.” I hiss at her. And I mean it. Without another look at her I go back into my room, slam the door and lock it to keep her out.

What the hell had I expected from her? I’m pissed at her and myself for even asking. She’s never been on our side, it was always her and Carlo and everyone else could get fucked. Her and Carlo, her and Carlo—Carlo who didn’t even care about her.

A punch to my throat sends me into the wall. The world blurs. Shit, no, it’s happening again. I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe. I’m down on my knees with no memory of how I got here. Sweat is sliding off me, my palms are slick with it. I try to crawl to my hiding spot. My entire body aches with every heartbeat as I try to stay on my knees.

It feels like it takes forever to get to it. My hands are shaking so badly I can barely get the bottom shelf up and open the box. I grab the gummies and swallow them whole. The vape pen, shit I forgot I didn’t get a refill. Breathe, it’s going to be okay. You aren’t dying no matter how much you want to… packing the pipe isn’t easy. I jam too much into the pipe. My thumb won’t catch the igniter. Once, twice, three times, I run my hand over my leggings and try again. Too much smoke and none of it is hitting my lungs. Deeper, inhale deeper. Hold it in as long as I can. It hits me. I exhale. All the fight goes out of me and I lay on the floor praying it’s over soon.

* * *

Sandro

Checking into the hotel takes a minute. Once I’m in the suite I get a text from Valdez, it’s what Milos has spent on Carina over the last four years. The amount sets my jaw. There is no way in hell a guy spends all this for a woman he isn’t even with.

I send a text to Valdez for Milos’s location. The response is he’s at his office at his restaurant. I’m given the address in another text before I ask for it. Luckily my bank is on the way. Getting the cashier’s check takes five minutes.

I’m met by a large guy with a gun on his ankle and my guess is another in the small of his back. I give him my name and tell him I want to see Milos. I’m given the okay and where his office is.

As I come up the stairs another guy is outside the office, he opens the door for me with a nod.

Milos is behind his desk. He nods at the chair in front of his desk. I take the seat.

My trick of not speaking isn’t working. Fine. “Why did you spend so much on Carina?”

The bastard chuckles. “Celia is ferociously protective of her sister and felt a great deal of guilt leaving her while she went to school. Her happiness was dependent on Carina happy and safe. Carina could not be happy and safe without what I spent. While Carina is convinced she is such a great actress she should be on the screen and stage, she is not. Celia often wanted to bring Carina to school with her. Sadly, that would not have been good for either of them. They needed space to grow into their own person.”

I consider his words. The poor bastard is screwed if he cares for his woman this deeply. Taking the cashier’s check from my inner pocket I lean over and hand it to him. “On Carina’s behalf that all ends today.”