Page 2 of His Vicious Vow

Another text comes through reminding me of the impending doom feeling I’ve had since the night we opened the back of a truck and found Bella hiding from her father. I exhale. All I can do is prepare for the worst and hope Mundo kills his father before Augusto makes us pay for saving Bella.

For now, it’s time to go to work.

* * *

Carina

My stomach knots at the text. It’s my mother asking where I am.

“Carina, you okay?” Ben’s pale blue eyes are filled with concern.

I open my mouth to lie but no words will come, instead a sob is wrenched from me. How freaking embarrassing.

He takes me into his arms. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is. If I can help you, I will. Talk to me, Carina.” He runs his hand up and down my back soothingly. Pulling back he looks down at me. “What’s going on? I’ve never seen you like this. Let me go get you some tissues. I’ll be right back.”

He's so freaking sweet, I sigh. I cannot believe how lucky I am. I couldn’t have picked a sweeter…a pinprick of light catches my attention as I wipe my eyes. I’m off the couch. No. No. Please no. My stomach tightens until I think I’m going to throw up. It is. His webcam light is on—which means it’s on. And it’s pointing right at the couch. Closing my eyes, new tears fall.

“Carina?” My name is filled with fear.

He should fear me. He has no idea who he tried to fuck over, or should I say fuck. It’s not the stupid cosplay girlie who wears too much eyeliner and hasn’t said a word to her father in seventeen years. I might hate my father but I am his daughter. It doesn’t matter I hated the life I was born into it, it’s moments like this I feel the life run through my veins.

My father is the Don of the Outfit, the powerful offshoot of the Italian mafia in Chicago. Mafia, god I’ve hated that word—death, power, destruction. It did that and more to my life. Ben was supposed to be a way out of it all.

Anger burns through me. I was going to do it. He was the one, after so many years I thought I found…what I thought I found doesn’t matter because it was all a lie. A lie I fell for out of painful desperation.

“Carina?” He’s moved to only a few feet away from behind me.

I swipe the laptop up, a big ass twenty-one-inch screen laptop he had for gaming. I’m short, only five foot three. Normally, I hate how short I am but this time it’s to my advantage. Swinging the laptop like a baseball bat, I catch him in his side and hip. It sends him to his knees. I bring it down on his back. His hands go out from under him and he’s eating carpet. I bring it down again on his back. Shit, he’s bleeding, from where I don’t know. The deep crimson of the blood against the tan carpet snaps me out of my fury. I drop the laptop on the floor and jump on it. The cracks of it breaking are louder than him crying.

There are no words for him anymore. He doesn’t deserve them, not even for me to tell him how much I hate him. Grasping his hair, I pull his head back and spit in his face. I slam his face into the carpet. I give him one last kick to his ribs.

Back at the couch I grab my bag and phone. I walk out of his apartment without looking back, slamming the door behind me on my way out.

I’m proud of the way I make it down the elevator, into the back of a cab and all the way back to my hotel without another tear falling. It isn’t until I’m safely inside my hotel room with the door locked behind me I let the tears escape.

Stupid. God, I am so fucking stupid. Why couldn’t I get this right? Why did it end the same with every guy? They all started out adorkably sweet. I met them all through anime, manga, fanfic sites and discord servers. Places where we could talk about the latest episode and didn’t feel like we were the outsiders. They felt safe.

Five guys, all the same. It was only sex as the endgame. All the hours I spent sharing my favorite scenes and episodes were used against me. The moves I squealed over were given to me. Not because they cared and wanted to give me the romance I dreamed of—it was to fuck me.

Not one of them ever mentioned me as their girlfriend, as their ideal woman. Because I’m not. I’m too short, too fat, too weird. No one wanted me for me. They wanted me because I was weird enough I didn’t think they were too dorky to be their friend, to wonder if maybe they could be my happily ever after.

My phone goes off again. Shit. I know who it is without looking, my mom. I’m right.

Carina? Where are you?

Shit.

I told you. I’m in New York working with my client on her manga. I’ll be back tomorrow.

I hold my breath. I didn’t tell her. It doesn’t matter because she never listens anyway.

Okay. I love you. Be careful.

Rolling my eyes, I toss my phone away. Now I’m going to get high, order room service, stuff my face, masturbate until my clit hurts and go home tomorrow. While I’m at the airport I’ll fantasize about getting on one of the planes without caring where it’s going and never seeing Chicago again. Except never seeing Chicago again meant never seeing Celia either the mere thought hurts almost as badly as what Ben did.

I open the container to the gummy edibles I bought the moment my plane landed, hating I couldn’t bring my own on the plane from Chicago. A bitter laugh slips out of me. The gummies have replaced the gum I had to have with me everywhere I go. I pop three in my mouth and chew.

I’m in the bathroom filling the soaking tub with boiling hot water and some of the smelly shampoo for bubbles. I wince at the eye liner and makeup smudged on my face. It takes a few minutes to wash my face clean.