Page 38 of Hunter's Trial

CHAPTER TWENTY

KATE

Nothing about tonight is going right.

It’s all wrong.

I shouldn’t be standing here alone. I shouldn’t have to dance on my own or tolerate the hands of strangers on me that I don’t want. I keep the smile on my face because I’m grateful to Alek for everything that he’s done and will continue to do for me. Horus has offered to dance with me at least three times, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. He’s the only one here who even really understands why I’m so upset. It’s a party for Anya and Alek. Anya has been nothing but kind to me during this whole thing.

Everything just feels… hollow.

Telling Nikolai to leave was the right choice to make. It was the only choice, we both know that. But it’s like there’s this hollow, aching hole in my chest knowing that tonight I’m going to go home to an empty bed. I’m going to be alone in a bed that feels too big for me. Nobody to make me laugh or to wake me up for middle-of-the-night sex.

It’s just me and Liz. Like before. That’s how it was supposed to be anyway.

Still, watching her dancing with all of her new friends, it’s next to impossible to reconcile the woman that I was a few days ago with who I am right now.

At least Liz is happy. Running around and playing with Henry and the other children from Alek’s clan.

Will Liz expect me to get married again? Someday she’s going to start asking a lot of questions that I’m going to have to come up with proper answers for. Right now, it all seems utterly impossible.

I didn’t want to have had to choose between my daughter and my - well, just what was he even?

Painful memories. That’s what he is now.

I have to distract myself.

There’s no time to lie around and wallow.

This is a safe space. There’s more protection at this reception than I have ever had before so there’s no reason that I shouldn’t be able to let my hair down, so to speak. Liz is well cared for. I might have my doubts but I know for a fact that nobody here would allow anything to happen to Henry or the other children, Liz included.

“Pity that I didn’t know you when I was getting married.”

Helena’s voice is unexpected. Startles me near out of my skin as I spin to greet her with a polite half smile. Mostly, I have to focus on my champagne not spilling. “Was it as grand as this? I imagine so.”

Helena grins in return. “Oh, Daniel never would have gone for this music or the whole outdoors thing. In truth, it was all a little rushed really. Maybe when we do a vow renewal or something?” Helena laughs to herself and lovingly runs a hand over her rounded belly. “Knowing Anya, she’s going to get competitive. Maybe that will be fun. Every year we can try to one up one another with vow renewals.”

“Or children’s birthday parties?” I offer.

That’s something to look forward to. Liz hasn’t had a grand birthday party yet. Billy always got mad about stuff like that. Didn’t like me spending the money that I made on things that he considered to be frivolous. His logic was that Liz was a baby and therefore she didn’t need anything like that. A cake, to him, would have been sufficient.

Now with the money that I’ve earned I can give Liz every princess party that she could ever want.

“Oh! Birthday parties! I didn’t even think about that! You have great ideas.” Helena giggles. If she didn’t live so far away from me, I would have loved to get to know her better. She and Anya both have such inviting energies about them.

“Careful though, if she’s the one throwing you a baby shower then she might have a head start on you.” I add, sipping my champagne again.

Helena snorts a laugh. “She is, actually.”

“How far along are you?”

Helena beams when she’s given the chance to talk more about her future child. “Twenty-five weeks! It seems like the time is just zipping by! Though, I will say that the baby already has a love of music that is impressive. All of this loud music is sending him into a frenzy.”

“Him?” I ask.

But before Helena can answer, Daniel shows up to guide her away. He’s certainly a good deal more formal than Alek ever was. He places a gentle hand under Helena’s elbow and flashes me a polite smile. “I have to steal my wife away for just a moment. There is somebody that I need her to meet.”

Helena rolls her eyes theatrically but seems only too happy to go with him. “Chat later,” she says over her shoulder before Daniel and she blend into the crowd of people.