Page 15 of Vicious Temptation
“I did,” he confirms. “Not for anything interesting, though. A business degree, so that I could continue the family legacy.” His mouth quirks upwards in a wry smile. “So my father wasn’t that different than yours, in that respect, I suppose.”
“Did you want to go for something different?”
He considers for a moment, then shrugs. “I’m not sure, either. I didn’t really think about it much, to be honest—I was always going to be expected to get a business degree, so I didn’t see a lot of purpose in thinking about an alternative that wasn’t going to happen.”
“That makes sense.” I reach for my wine glass. It’s crisp and sweet, and I take a second sip, enjoying the taste. I can feel myself relaxing a little, and I know it’s him that’s putting me at ease. He hasn’t made a comment about my clothing, pressed me about topics I’ve shied away from, or pointed out how little I’ve actually eaten of the undoubtedly outrageously expensive dinner he’s ordered for us. He simply seems to be enjoying being here with me, and I feel another small stab of regret that I’m going to have to let him down.
Gabriel goes quiet for a moment, waiting until the server brings us another dish—this time thin slices of raw fish on a flat bed of rice, with a dot of sauce and a sprinkle of caviar on each slice. “I have another question for you,” he says, pausing in a way that makes my stomach flip, and my palms start to sweat all over again.
Here we go. This is where the conversation takes the turn that leads to me having to tell him that it’s been a wonderful night, but that I don’t want this to go anywhere else. The thought makes me feel unexpectedly a little sad, but I push the feeling away. I might feel that way at this moment, but allowing this to go further, saying yes to anything more, is only going to hurt me and disappoint him in the end. I’m certain of that.
He takes a deep breath, finishing one of his small cups of sake, and his green gaze lands on mine. “How do you feel about children, Bella?”
My appetite flees instantly. I swallow hard, twisting my fingers into the thick cloth napkin in my lap. I need to put him out of his misery. This man has skipped past the part where he asks me if I’d be interested in marriage, and is already at the part where he finds out how many children I want. I would probably find his eagerness flattering, if this weren’t so impossible.
It’s also another question I don’t know the answer to, because I’ve never gotten that far. A few months ago, I was just getting around to reconciling myself to the idea that I was going to have to marry a man I’d never met, before that man destroyed me and made it so that I can’t bear to touch or be touched any longer. And touching, as far as I know, is just the beginning of the requirements to have children.
“Gabriel—” Something flickers in his gaze when I say his name, and I try not to think what that might be. This handsome, kind man looking at me with genuine desire is more than I can take right now. “This has been wonderful. Really—this is one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. But I meant it when I said that I don’t want to get married. I’m trying to avoid it for as long as I can, for as long as I can keep my father from finalizing everything, and?—”
He blinks at me, the expression on his face suddenly startled, which makes no sense. And then, before I can say anything else, he laughs.
I don’t know whether to be confused, offended, or something else altogether. I stare at him, my food forgotten, entirely unsure of what to do or say.
Gabriel shakes his head, setting his chopsticks down, his expression smoothing. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding, Bella,” he says kindly. “I told your father that I wanted to talk to you about this myself, but I didn’t think he’d leave you completely in the dark.”
“Completely in the dark about what?” Now I’m just confused, and I feel a frustrated lump in my throat. The night has shifted from something fun and novel to feeling as if everyone is in on something involving me that I don’t know about, and after everything that’s happened, that feeling sends a surge of nausea twisting through me.
“I have an offer for you, Bella, but it has nothing to do with marriage, and I asked you to have dinner with me tonight so that we could discuss it. I wanted to talk to you about this privately—to make the offer between the two of us—without your father in the middle.”
“But he knows about it?” Confusion wars with suspicion, and I wonder if he’s about to ask me for something completely inappropriate, something that would absolutely shatter my perspective of him. The thought makes a cold sensation slither down my spine, and I bite my lip, hoping that’s not the case. But I can’t imagine what else it could be?—
“I want to offer you a job, Bella.”
I blink at him. “What kind of a job?” I ask warily.
“I’m a widower.” He says it flatly, matter-of-fact, but I remember that odd hint of sadness in his eyes when he said he used to go out more often, and a piece of the puzzle clicks into place. “I have two children. A daughter, Cecelia, who’s eleven, and a son, Danilo—we call him Danny—who is nine.”
“They sound lovely,” I murmur politely. I’m still not entirely sure what he’s getting at.
“You say you don’t want to get married, Bella. I can understand that.” He lets out a slow breath. “I don’t want to marry again, either. I think that’s part of what struck me when I met you. What made me want to suggest a different solution to your father.”
“A different solution?”
He nods. “I don’t want to get married again,” he repeats, “but my children need stability. They need someone who can fill that motherly role. I have help now, but the woman who helps me has other responsibilities, and I know she needs a break. My compromise between marrying again, and continuing on as we are, is to find a live-in nanny.” He pauses. “Someone who will live in my house, care for Danny and Cecelia, and be a part of the family. I’m happy to let you meet them first, of course, if you want. But I’ve already discussed this with your father. This would prevent you from having to marry so soon, Bella.”
For a long moment, I can’t speak. I’m too stunned to know what to say. The last thing I ever expected out of this evening was for Gabriel to offer me a job. I’m so stunned by it that I can’t even be embarrassed by how thoroughly I misjudged his intentions. Everything he just told me rattles around in my mind, jostling together as I try to put together the pieces.
A widower, with two children. Someone who obviously must have loved his wife, if he doesn’t want to get married again. Someone in need of help with them, who wants to hire someone full-time to help look after them. Something warms in my chest at that thought—he clearly cares for them, if he’s putting this much thought into it.
And he brought me here to talk to me about it one-on-one, like an equal. I’d appreciated it before, when I thought he was going to propose an engagement, but now I appreciate it even more. He could have easily arranged this with my father, shaken hands, and left me to be told that I was being shipped off to a new house to work for a businessman as his children’s nanny, but he took the time to make me the offer in person.
And I wouldn’t have to get married. Not right now. Not for a while, maybe. I have no idea how long this position is supposed to last, but he said his oldest child was eleven, so—a while, probably? As long as he’s happy with my performance, and my father is willing to allow me to stay.
It does occur to me, as I sit there with my thoughts spinning, that accepting his offer means I’ll be living with him—this very handsome man who is so much kinder than I expected. My heart does an odd flip at the thought, a nervousness that feels different from the usual, clawing panic that I’ve become accustomed to. Is he expecting more from me than to just take care of his children? That thought does send a shiver of panic through me.
But he’s been nothing but gentlemanly all night. Even the things I took as a flirtation, looking back on them through the lens of what I now know, only seem like casual comments now. Just Gabriel trying to get to know a woman who he’s considering bringing into his home.
He’s made it clear that he has no interest in marriage. In a relationship. And even if he did, I remind myself, he wouldn’t want me once he knew what else comes with the outer package.