Page 35 of Stay With Me
“Not here.” She takes a step back. “Come. We can talk in my apartment. Tasha is gone for the night.”
I don’t tell her I know, that I was trying to get information out of my daughter about her.
Her small, soft hand grasps mine as she leads me toward the elevator. I can sense something is wrong with each passing second. Something that I know I’m not going to like.
The ride is quick and silent, my stomach twisting as we step out of the elevator and over to her apartment.
She lets me in and closes the door behind me.
Turning around, I see her standing by the door, hand still on the handle.
“Ava?”
She takes a shuddering breath and turns to face me, and my heart shatters.
“We can’t do this.” Tears are spilling down her cheeks. “I should have turned around that first night when I saw it was you.”
My pulse spikes, hands clutching at my side. “Don’t say that, Princess.” My nostrils flare. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me you regret us.”
“I don’t,” she confirms, stepping forward. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. But Roman, as much as the idea of you and me sounds perfect, we can’t be together.”
“Why not? Is it the age gap? I don’t care about that.”
“It’s not that.” She shakes her head. “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that if Tasha disapproved of us, you would keep dating me? That you wouldn’t let her feelings about us affect your decision to be with me?”
Fuck. I knew we would have to tell Tasha eventually. But I’ve been pushing it to the back of my mind, enjoying my time with Ava. It’s hard to think about anyone but Ava when I’m around her. I’ve fooled myself into building this future with her inside my head without thinking about the reality we live in.
“You don’t know how she’s going to react. Tasha has always been supportive of me. I don’t see why she wouldn’t be when it comes to our relationship.”
She gives me a sad smile that crushes me even more.
“But I do know what she would think.”
“What?” I blink at her in confusion. “You told her about us?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “But... at dinner, when you went to take care of the bill, she was talking about how she wished you would find someone and be happy. She listed off a bunch of things, then said you should be with someone like me.”
“Okay... that’s a good thing, right?” My eyes flick between hers with confusion, my heart teetering on the edge of hope.
“I thought so.” She lets out a humorless laugh. “Until she realized what she was saying and backtracked, making sure I knew she didn’t actually mean me, just someone like me. That the idea of the two of us filled her with disgust.” More tears fall down her cheeks.
I deflate, her words hitting me hard. “She really said that?”
Ava nods. “I got the impression that the mere idea of us together made her sick.”
“Fucking hell.” I sigh heavily, feeling like my whole world is crashing down around me. Dramatic, maybe, but it fucking hurts. It hurts to finally have the girl I’ve been pining after—no matter how fucked up it might have been—only to have her and all the future possibilities taken away.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I sit down on the couch. Ava moves to sit on the coffee table in front of me.
I hate how wrecked she looks. “Ava, baby, I love you.” My voice breaks. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know,” her voice cracks. “I don’t want to lose you either. But let’s be real about this. We could tell her about us. But is that something we want to risk? Even after knowing that the idea of us makes her sick? If I tell her I’ve been fucking her dad, that I now want to have a life with him, and she doesn’t approve, I’ll lose my best friend. And Roman, I would hate myself if I was the one to come between the two of you. You’re all she’s got, and I’d never take that away from her.”
“Fuck!” I clench my fists before pressing them to my forehead.
I could be selfish, I could say fuck it and risk it all to be with Ava. But she’s right. I can’t lose my daughter. I can’t.
“I’m not ready for this to be over. I’m not ready to say goodbye.” How can this be happening? I was so fucking happy just a few days ago. Over the damn moon about having my girl. I thought I’d never find love, and then she knocked on my door.