Page 77 of Chasing Home
I nod. “Me too.”
“I haven’t seen him wear this jacket in years. He used to say he won it playing poker, but I never believed him,” she whispers.
“Maybe he did.”
“He hates poker.”
I roll my lips, unsure what to say to that. Did my mom get him that jacket? If she did, why did he keep it for so long after they parted, as if he had any right to?
“I didn’t mean to hurt you with this. It wasn’t my plan to bring this up to everyone and cause problems. I just want answers,” I admit, feeling that weight on my chest again, pressing down further and further despite how desperately I try to shove it off.
Wanda slides the photo and letter across the table, glaring at them like she’s hoping to light them ablaze with her eyes. When she glances up again, some of that anger dies.
“And you thought I could give you them,” she notes.
“I have so many blanks in the story. My mom doesn’t want to talk about the details. It hurts her, and the last thing I want to do is make her pain worse. But I deserve answers, and I was hoping I could get them elsewhere first before tearing open her past with demands and my hurt in addition to hers. When she told me about you, I took that information and ran. It wasn’t much either. Just your name and that you were from Cherry Peak.
“I’m not a spontaneous person, Wanda. Change scares me. Actually, it terrifies me. But I came here anyway, thinking you’d be where the internet told me you were. Except I didn’t find you at the small-town hair salon I expected, and I didn’t know what to do next until I met the Steeles. Eliza’s helped me with a couple of my questions, and now so has Johnny by putting me in touch with you. Calling and asking you to come back here was never my plan, and I’m sorry if I’ve ruined whatever it is you’ve been doing. I just want to know my family history. I want to know why . . .”
I blink up at the ceiling, ashamed of the tears filling my eyes. They’re not mine to shed. They’re my mom’s, and Wanda’s, for driving her back to a place she clearly doesn’t want to be. I’m inserting myself into this town, and I feel so completely out of place. An outsider digging around in history that shouldn’t be mine to dig around in. But it is. I hate it, but it’s mine more than anyone knows.
I widen my eyes at Wanda when she reaches across the table and takes my hands in hers. She doesn’t smile at me, but it isn’t necessary. The slight squeeze she gives me is enough.
“You have every right to know the answers to all of your questions, Aurora. I’m sorry for being so cold toward you. My family has never been . . . warm to each other, let alone outsiders that we’re quite honestly scared of. I’ll be honest and say that I expected you to be here for something entirely different. Maybe a chunk of the fame our father has built first and foremost. But also, if you were telling the truth, then you’d be just another roadblock between me and him. That was never fair of me. It came from a place of insecurity and hurt that I’ve never been able to grasp his attention.”
“I don’t blame you for being guarded. Even still, I haven’t offered you much proof.”
“I don’t need more proof. I can see it in your eyes. The pain and desire for answers. Plus, you seem to have a good idea already of the man Riley is. If you truly were just here for the fame, you wouldn’t care about that at all.”
I laugh lightly, jerking my head in agreement. “It’s that bad?”
Her features harden, tongue sweeping along the inside of her lip. “I spent a year trying to get his attention. I left Cherry Peak, flew to where I knew he was, and was met by the same shit that I’d always seen at home. He’s busy, too busy for a family, let alone a daughter. And now that he’s got two? I don’t know what’s going to happen, Aurora. I can’t make you any promises that he’ll even care to learn he’s had a second daughter all this time.
“And I don’t say that to hurt you. That’s just me speaking from experience. I can count on one hand the number of my birthdays he’s attended or Christmas mornings, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t show up to my high school graduation, and he’s never paid any mind to a single one of the degrees I’ve gotten or businesses I’ve started from the ground up since in an attempt to make him proud of me. Riley Rose should never have been given the title of anyone’s father. Thank fucking God there are only two of us to witness the disappointed he is.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
Wanda sits back in her chair and meets my stare head-on. “Welcome to the family, Aurora. For your sake, I hope you’re only here for a short while.”
26
JOHNNY
“Wait, so Wanda, what, gave you her permission to seek out Lee?” I ask, trying to get my head on track with the information Rory’s just dumped on me.
She sets her sub sandwich down on her thigh and wipes her mouth with a napkin. “I guess so. Really, I think she was warning me against going to meet him. She gave me his address in Toronto before we left the bakery, but I don’t think she wants me to use it.”
“For her gain or yours?”
I’ve known Wanda for years, yeah, but Rory’s my girl, and I won’t have anyone trying to sweep the rug out from under her with this. She doesn’t have enough people in her corner yet watching her back, and if Wanda isn’t prepared to take on that task, then I’ll make damn sure she is by the time I’m done with her.
“I think both of ours. I didn’t feel anything malicious from her at all after we got talking. If anything, I think she was more concerned for me. Lee sounds like a shitty father, Johnny,” she grumbles, her frown etched deep.
“I don’t know him from Adam, but even I’ve picked up enough about his relationship with his family and all of Cherry Peak. He’d win an award for most absentee parent. Still, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the chance to meet him to see for yourself.”
She sighs, abandoning her food to wrap her arms around her knees. The new backyard lights I installed yesterday burn bright in the cover of night, illuminating her features. She continues to park her fine ass beside me on the porch instead of sitting in her camping chair. I’ve grown used to having her so close to me. During our lunch breaks at work, I tuck the spare rolling chair right up beside her and have focused on getting rid of any chewing noises I make during lunch just so she doesn’t tell me to back off.
These moments are the ones that keep me content with taking things slow. I’d do just about anything to spend time with her like this, our thighs pressed together and my arm around her back. Comfortable, soft, perfect.