Page 85 of Moros

“I get it.” I exhaled. “I get it. I’m emotional raw—emotionally vacant. But how did I deserve this?”

“It isn’t about you deserving this.” She explained. “I just felt like—for once, I wanted a man to?—”

“We aren’t in high school, Ryanne.”

“I know.”

My eyes fell to her lips. The thought of another man knowing what they felt like, knowing what they tasted like, knowing the kind of magic they held bothered me.

The thoughts made me certifiably homicidal.

“Did you kiss him?” I wanted to know—well, not really wanted to know but it was eating away at me.

“No.”

“Did he touch you?” I hung my head.

“What? No!”

I shook my head and walked around her.

She caught my elbow and held on tightly.

“I’m telling you the truth!”

“I don’t believe you.” I yanked my arm away and made my way up the front steps.

“Khadri, please!” She yelled. “I know, I fucked up. Do you really think I’d sleep with some guy I just met? I gave you my?—”

“Stop!” I barked.

Angry, I descended the steps and faced her.

“That has to mean something to you!” She pushed, gripping my arms. “It has to! I wouldn’t just give it away to anyone.”

“Then I’m confused.”

“About what?”

“Look.” I stepped back.

My energy was zapped and I could feel all the strength I had left slowly waning.

I couldn’t remember every being so damn tired and just over something.

“I was falling in love with you.” I admitted. “And honestly, it had been so long since I even came close to that feeling and I let my guard down. What I felt for you is gone now—because all I can see in my head his you and Todd. Every time I sleep that nightmare has taken over the chaos of war that visited me.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks and it broke me being so cold to her but I couldn’t go back to that place—that horrible dark place that left me hollow and so cold.

I couldn’t go back.

“So—you can’t see yourself loving me?”

“Take a good look at me, Ryanne!” I snapped. “Can you honestly say this is a face you can love? Or the things I’ve done?—”

“Yes.”

I scoffed.