Page 39 of Twisted Heathens
Taking a fresh piece, my pen is poised. Right. Consumer marketing. I know this, come on. It’s fucking easy. Pressing the nib down, I quickly lose focus and scribble angrily. So hard it tears a massive hole in the middle, ink spilling everywhere.
In my head, those storm cloud eyes are peering up at me. Pupils blown wide and dilated. Lips wrapped around my dick, taking it so fucking deep I can hardly contain myself for a second longer. She always knew exactly how I liked it and never disappointed.
My dirty little blackbird.
Another image comes. Her hands secured to the bed frame with my belt, body open and exposed. Perfect tits calling out to me as I tear my eyes away, focusing on the leg propped up on my shoulder, my fingers searching for a vein to tap. Her squirming and writhing, begging for me to taste her sweet pussy as the drugs work their magic.
“Hudson?”
Kade’s hand lands on my arm. I open my eyes, the memories melting away. He’s looking at me, stuck in an eternal state of anxiety at the moment.
She’s been gone for a whole week.
People that go down into the basement, locked in solitary until they’re stable enough to return… they come back different. More broken than how they went in. The four walls closing in, time melting into insignificance; it’s a recipe for insanity. I’m under no illusions, I’ve been there before. Two days was enough to scare me straight, relatively speaking.
“When are you going to talk to me?” Kade sighs.
Shaking my head, I gather the papers and walk to the bin to shove them in with all my frustration. For good measure, I kick it too. “I’m not. Ever.”
He shrugs. “I’ll only ask her about your history when she returns.”
If she ever does.
“Don’t you dare. Leave her out of it, Kade.”
“How? Brooklyn’s the reason you’re in this state. She tried to fucking stab you! That’s a big deal. What happened between you two? What did she do?”
“Nothing. It’s not what she did, you idiot.”
It’s what I did. The unthinkable.
Kade slams his laptop shut, leaning back in the chair. His arms are crossed as he evaluates me. “Was this before or after you came to us?”
“Before.”
“In foster care?”
The memories bombard me. St Anne’s, the Catholic orphanage where I first met my blackbird. Tucked away in a remote countryside town, far from the luxury of upper-class London suburbia where I eventually ended up. Kade’s family adopted me when I was sixteen and I left the misery of being in care behind. I left her behind. Alone and utterly destroyed by everything I’d done. My blackbird was broken.
“Yeah, I knew her then.”
That’s all I can say. The rest is too awful.
“What happened?”
I slam my palm down on the desk. “Do you ever stop?”
“I’m just trying to help you, Hud. You need to talk about it.”
“No, I don’t. Because nothing is ever going to fix what I did.”
Kade thankfully shuts up. I’ve dealt with him following me around like a fucking patrol officer all week, it’s just too much. I get it. He wants to help, but it’s entirely unwelcome. He should be in the warden’s office, convincing her to release Brooklyn before it’s too late.
I don’t blame her for what happened, I deserve it. But the way she came for me… she’s not the timid, innocent girl I once knew. This isn’t where they send angels. We’re all fucking devils here.
“You need to stay away when she gets back.” Kade points a finger at me, deadly serious and his voice hard as nails. “I mean it.”
“I can’t,” I mutter.