Page 87 of Twisted Heathens
My stomach bottoms out. Ice floods my body and sickness muddles my mind. I can hear Kade saying my name, feel his hand on my shoulder, but it doesn’t resonate. Nothing about this feels real, like I’m imprisoned in a twisted nightmare designed to fuck me up.
“She wants… to testify. Against me,” I state emotionlessly.
“Yeah. You realise what this means, right?”
Stumbling to the bed, I sit down and put my head in my hands. “Of course, I fucking do. She’s going to expose the lie. Your parents will be implicated. We’re all going to jail.”
I recite the prospects tonelessly, too overwhelmed to fully comprehend the almighty shit storm heading our way. Kade joins me on the bed, equally tense.
“Your parents too. They made this mess to protect you, dammit. Now they will go down with you.” He gulps loudly. “We need a plan. There’s got to be a way out of this.”
“It’s perjury, Kade. We all lied.”
I smash my clenched hand against my forehead, willing the truth to go away. How could I have been so stupid to go along with this? Fucking hell, I deserve that prison sentence. I can’t let them go down for my mistakes too.
“How do we protect them?” I ask through gritted teeth. “I’ll march up to the judge and confess if I have to. They can do whatever the fuck they like to me. I can’t let—” My voice chokes up as I swallow hard. “I can’t let this happen. Your family saved my life.”
Of all the responses, Kade laughs.
“The hell are you laughing at?”
“Nothing.” He chuckles weakly. “It’s just… I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I shoot him an incredulous look. “You kidding, right? That’s what you’re thinking right now?”
Sobering, Kade stands and looks down at me. “We’re a family, whether you like it or not. And we will fix this as a family. Nobody is going to prison. You are coming home. I made promises and I intend to keep them.”
“What exactly is your plan then?” I call after him.
“We’re figuring it out,” he answers evasively. “Mum is coming in a couple of weeks to see us both. She’s requested visitation. Hopefully we’ll have an update then.”
“Sit tight? That’s your plan?” I gape at him.
“Yes. In the meantime, keep your mouth shut. The lawyers are tying the investigation up in red tape as we speak to delay things. Sit tight and don’t lose your shit, brother. We fixed this mess once…” He looks me right in the eye. “We’ll fix it again.”
I stare at the door long after it closes behind him. My eyes unseeing, vision tainted by the memory of blood. It happened in a split second, a decision that changed everything for me. I drove down to see my mother in a daze, intending to finally confront her about the years of abuse that led me into the foster system.
Hudson, what are you doing here?
You can’t be here. Please go. If Ron sees you…
I should’ve listened to Ma. In fact, I should’ve never gone back to that hellhole, filled with pointless ideas about closure and finally healing from the past. I had it all laid out for me. This perfect life that Kade’s folks provided. College. Friends. Good grades. A future. And I tossed it all away just to go back for that crackpot whore.
There’s only one person that can possibly understand. My feet move automatically as I flee the room and march across the corridor. Fist banging on Brooklyn’s door, my chest seizes and sweat coats my forehead. Everything is spinning and falling apart at the seams. She’s the only person that has ever come close to understanding me.
No answer.
I rattle the handle but it’s locked. Darkness closes over my vision as I lean my forehead on the wood. This can’t be happening. Kade and his family can’t go down for my mistakes and stupidity. This is all my fucking fault.
“Hudson?”
I look up, desperately hoping it’s my girl there. Disappointment coats my tongue as Britt stares at me, eyebrows furrowed. “You okay? What’s wrong?”
I lose all sense of right and wrong. Marching over to her and grabbing her face, my lips are straight on hers. I don’t want to kiss Britt. I fucking hate her guts. But if I concentrate hard enough, I can pretend that she’s my blackbird. That her dry hair is long and luscious. That her thin body is soft against mine and lined with every scar that I’ve memorised.
“I knew you’d come to your senses,” she pants.
“Shut the fuck up,” I growl.