Page 94 of Twisted Heathens
But I can’t go back in or face the men that see the good in me that I can’t. They are safer far, far away from me. With my body trembling from the hit rushing through my system, I run back down the deserted corridor.
Britt’s words echo on a loop and all I can think about is opening a vein wide enough to end this shit for good. I can practically see the puddle of blood in my mind’s eye, forming a dark halo of death around my still corpse.
A voice whispers through my mind. Hurry up and fucking kill yourself. Even as I shake my head, it refuses to be silent. You know you want to.
“Brooklyn!” Teegan calls as I pass, without even sparing a glance. Her and Todd watch me go with concern, repeatedly shouting my name while I grapple with reality.
I don’t stop running until I’m back in the dorms. Taking the stairs two at a time, I trip and stumble multiple times, burning my hands against the rough carpet. I don’t stop until I finally reach my floor, skidding to a halt.
There’s a shadow slumped against the mahogany, black hair wild and untamed, head hanging low between his legs. My feet backtrack as his head raises, brilliant blue eyes latching onto me. They dissolve everything around me until nothing remains but the distance between us.
“Blackbird,” Hudson whispers.
I should run. Turn around and flee. Hide. Shout. Anything to escape the devil at my door. But my feet move of their own accord, guiding me forwards with the magnetic pull of Hudson’s defeated eyes. I stop in front of him, lip curled in derision.
“Get out of my way,” I mutter, but it sounds weak, fucking feeble.
He clambers to his feet, jaw set and expression hard. Sorrow melts into something darker, more primal. “The guys sent me to look for you. I’ve been waiting.”
Hudson looms at my back, the stench of alcohol coming off him in waves.
“You’re drunk, Hud. Go home,” I state, as if I’m any better.
“I’m drunk, you’re high. What better time to have this conversation?”
And with that, he bends and picks me up. A shocked scream escapes my lips as he lifts me in one smooth move, tossing me over his shoulder.
“Put me down! Put me down this instance!”
“Shut the fuck up before you wake everyone,” Hudson growls, spanking my ass as he stalks to his room. He kicks the door open and marches in, the distinct noise of the lock clicking before I’m roughly tossed onto his bed.
“I’m done running circles around you.” He discards his phone and key card, turning that unfathomable expression on me. “You continue to forget the lesson I taught you when we were kids.”
Standing at the end of his bed, eyes prowling my splayed out, vulnerable body, he offers me a bleak smile. “You’re fucking mine, blackbird. You’ve always been fucking mine.”
“You’re mistaken.” I shake my head, desperately scrabbling backwards to escape him. “I was never yours to begin with. You stole everything from me. My sanity, sobriety, education. Everything.” Reaching out to grab the nearby lampshade, I toss it straight at him as hard as possible. “Fucking everything!”
The light narrowly misses and smashes against the wall behind Hudson. He doesn’t even flinch at the pointed shards cascading down. He just huffs and pulls the duvet, dragging me closer while I battle to escape.
“You’re a monster,” I shout, hands clutching the mattress.
His hands grab my ankles and pull, until I’m hopelessly caught beneath him at the end of the bed. He traps my body between his legs and latches onto my wrists, pinning them above my head. Simmering blue eyes burn a path straight down to my damned soul.
“You think I don’t know that?” Hudson hisses at me. “Every single day for the last five years, I’ve had to live with the knowledge of what they did to you.” His Adam’s apple bobs, betraying his emotions. “Of what I let them do to you.”
His hand releases me to cup my cheek, black hair falling across his eyes. Rather than tenderly brushing it aside like the old me would have, I take the opportunity and swing my fist, punching him in the face. “Fuck you!”
Hudson stumbles back, wiping his split lip. My chest seizes as he glares at me, patience crumbling. “Why do you continue to fight me?”
When he tries to come close again, I kick my leg out so it connects with his jaw. He reels back and I leap up to advance, pushing him into the bookshelf. It groans and wobbles precariously for a second before toppling over. Books, pictures and debris fly everywhere, showering down and bruising us both.
“Because you took away my ability to fight, goddamn you!” I yell back.
We continue to fight and both end up on the floor, gasping for breath, surrounded by destruction. Before I can launch another assault, Hudson scrambles across the floor and pounces on me. As his heavy weight presses into me, I writhe and scream.
“Come back to me,” he demands.
The minute his lips land on mine, something inside of me gives. It snaps and fucking dissolves as my lips part, automatically reacting to the familiar mouth against mine. His kiss is desperate, unapologetic. For a second I allow myself to feel something, and then it all comes crashing back in. Every reason why this is a terrible idea that will only hurt both of us. As I come to my senses, I bite down on his lip until he yelps and releases me.