Page 130 of Trusting You
“I know,” Astor says. She brings her chair around to sit by me and rub between my shoulder blades.
“I was so scared today,” I whisper through a sob.
“Me, too.”
“Lily’s already lost so much, and she’s too young to even know. But Locke…if Locke…”
“Listen to me.” Astor twists my shoulders. “Locke isn’t going anywhere, okay? Neither am I. Lily will always, always have a family.”
I swallow. “Lily wasn’t born from a love story. I’m aware of that—have come to terms with it, anyway. But it breaks my heart to be told that she’s the result of a bet for cash.”
“That doesn’t mean Locke won’t love her. He already does.”
I scrub at my eyes. They’re hot and wet. “Right when I think…the second I get comfortable with Locke, he railroads me with something like this. A crucial piece of his past he’s hiding.”
“I think…I think he’s not telling you everything because he’s afraid of you.”
I snort.
“I’m serious, Carter. Your opinion means more to him than I’ve seen in a while. Not since his coaches. Not since his mother. Maybe you need to see past the details of his secrets to understand the why. He doesn’t want to disappoint you. He wants to be perfect for Lily. That kind of pressure, especially with his kind of history, is not easy.”
My spine bows.
“For the longest time, he’s considered himself a failure,” Astor says. “Then you brought Lily to him. And Locke finally understands that his hardships amounted to something. Her. That baby girl.”
Astor’s words hit me hard, but I can’t shake the unease. “All I’ve ever hoped for is for him to be honest with me.”
“Give him time.”
I shake my head sadly. “There’s not enough left.”
“He’s not this perfect, athletic Hercules everyone made him out to be in college,” Astor says. “He’s flawed. Human. Stupid. But he loves that little girl and is destroying himself over what happened this afternoon.”
I believe it. Locke, lying in a hospital bed, whiter than the sheets surrounding him. Clear agony etched in each grimace, but it isn’t only due to his physical pain. He hurt his baby. Accidentally, but she was hurt.
“We all love her, Carter. She’s in good hands.”
I nod and give a reassuring squeeze to Astor before her hand slides away from my arm. I have a lot of thinking to do, but it can’t be here. I need to go back to Locke’s place and put the final touches in Lily’s nursery. I need to pack my bags and begin the process of leaving. I’ve been naïve—so naïve—to think Locke and I could continue within this bubble, keep our pretend family in place.
Lily has Astor, she has Locke, she has her family.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
The baritone voice, so out of place between my and Astor’s soft talking, shoots both our heads up. A silver fox approaches us, his slate colored hair combed back from his tanned, aristocratic face.
The eyes are what give him away.
He’s a Hayes.
“Dad,” Astor says, standing. I follow suit, rubbing my palms on my jeans for no reason.
“Locke’s asking to see Lily before we leave.” He’s not even looking in my direction.
“Sure. This is Carter, by the way,” Astor says. “She’s—”
“I know who she is.”
“Okay.” Astor drawls out the word. “Carter, meet Nick Hayes.”