Page 147 of Trusting You
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Locke
I’m clean and wearing pants by the time Carter makes it to the hospital to bring me home.
I forgot how tight jeans feel, how squished the twig and berries get. For many days (and many nights) I’d had wondrous airflow in nothing but a hospital gown. I weaned myself by utilizing briefs the past few days, but there’d still been ventilation.
These are the things I’m thinking about as I’m settled into a wheelchair so as not to exert myself until I’m off hospital property. I’m weak but stronger than I was yesterday. After the bullshit week I’ve had, I put that in the “win” column.
Carter comes in, one-arming Lily around the time I’m getting used to my wheels. I don’t glance up, because it’s become painful to meet her dull, rusted eyes. I don’t ponder what the next few days will be like with her—if I can remember right, she said once I was discharged, she’d book a hotel, so there’s my answer.
Asher encouraged me to further explain. Ben seconded it and Easton, being Easton, said I should do what I wanted. I figure the car ride home is going to be the only chance I have to do it in.
Lily’s sweet noises come closer, and Carter sits her on my legs.
“Hi, baby,” I say, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead. Fucking hell, I missed her. I hadn’t noticed how my new cologne became baby powder until it was taken away from me. I want that scent back. I want to smell exactly like this baby sweetness all the time.
When she doesn’t poop.
“See what’s on her lap?” Carter asks above me.
Lily’s tearing at the ears of her usual rabbit, the one Paige gave her and Carter kept washed and pristine as much as she could. It endured a lot of spit up and other foreign substances, but Lily doesn’t mind.
“Yeah, Mr. Buns.”
“She’d lost it. Has been inconsolable for days because I didn’t have it to give to her.”
“Huh,” I say. “Where’d you find it?”
“Coach Becks dropped it off.”
At last, I meet her gaze. It catches me off guard because they have a bit of their sparkle back.
“You got the job, Locke.”
My mouth opens, but it takes time to form words. Memories. How I’d interviewed with Coach the morning before the accident, and totally forgotten about it since. “I did?”
Carter smiles, and if that’s all I get from this news, it’s worth it. “You did. But you have to call him as soon as you can, or he’ll give it to someone else.”
“Hell, I don’t lose.” I anchor Lily to me and point to the door. “Onward. Get me home so I can start making calls.”
She smiles again, and while it lacks teeth, it’s genuine. If she’s happy I have something to keep me busy, I’m okay with it, because I haven’t been occupied for a very long time. I’m ready to become a telemarketer at this point. Hospital days are dull. The nights are filled with screams of neighboring patients. And without the contentment of morphine, every sound grates against endured pain.
I’m out.
Carter grabs the handles behind me and pushes me out the door. I stay as manly as I can with a straight back and sharp jaw, but I can’t hide the eagerness to leave this place, get back to my life and my daughter.
“Gerrrrrrrrr,” Lily says on cue, shoving the rabbit’s nose into my mouth. It smells suspicious.
“Car’s idling at the entrance,” Carter says as we navigate the hallways.
When we’re in the elevator, alone, and Lily’s moved mildewy fur from my face, I start off strong. “Carter…”
“Don’t,” she says behind me. She won’t come around the chair. “I’m glad you’re starting over. Over the moon, actually. I think this is the beginning of a very good thing. So, let’s not ruin it.”
“You need to give me the time to respond.”
“I’ve heard enough.”