Page 67 of Trusting You
“Was Paige your only friend?” I ask.
I sense a vulnerability in her, unusual in its depth. To me, Carter’s always been vulnerable. The minute she entered into my periphery, she exposed her emotions for Lily’s sake. Her weaknesses worn like skin—her fear of losing Lily forever, the anxiety over moving to a new city for a few weeks. All of that was written in each pore. It’s expected, these hesitations. Natural, even. Normal.
In this instance, there’s a difference. This is a vulnerability that contains her past, a backward focus that unexpectedly gifts me with a deeper look inside.
“She and I had a crazy connection,” Carter answers. She’s allowing Lily to play with her fingers and is focusing on that instead of me. “We met in freshman year as roommates. It’s not that we didn’t hang out with other people, we always did. Study groups, nights out, all of that. But when it came to sharing secrets and having someone else really get to know you…yeah, Paige was my person.”
The breath I exhale is soft with sorrow. “I’m sorry you had to lose her.”
“Me, too.” Carter brushes a finger down Lily’s cheek and a smile ghosts against hers. “But she’s still here. The best part of her, she’d say.”
I hold Lily tighter. “How have you coped?”
“You’re holding it.”
I try to imagine what it would be like if Ben were killed tomorrow, or Asher diagnosed with a terminal illness, Easton in a car accident. What would it be like, to have no human aspect left of them if they go?
Then I think, I’d have two other guys to help me get through it. They’ve propped me up through a shit-ton already. We’d never leave one of us to suffer through grief alone.
“What about other people? Friends? Family?” I ask. Understanding socks me in the solar plexus. “Have you been going through all this by yourself?”
Carter shrugs, but her shoulders barely reach her ears. “I’ve been okay.”
I incline my head. “Have you?”
“Sure. I talk to my family, kind of. Got another roommate, Sophie Addison. She’s pretty great. Has helped a lot, actually. We work together, too.”
Carter’s changing the subject. But I don’t want to dump her grief all over her before sending her out to where she’s supposed to have fun. “Yeah? What do you do, anyway?”
Carter snorts, and I notice a bit of light coming back into her eyes. “Data entry for a pharmaceutical company.”
“That sounds…interesting.”
“I’m a drone; you can say it. But it has amazing benefits like all big corporations do. And vacation time. So, I slog through it.”
But it’s clearly not what she grew up wanting to be. Dreams can be sacrificed as much as they can be lost. Maybe Carter and I have more in common than I think.
“Anyway, I should get going.” Carter bops Lily on the nose with her finger. “‘Bye, cutie.”
“Why, thank you. Good-bye to you, too.” I grin.
She snorts again, and I find it ridiculously cute, especially when it’s coupled with a natural flush in her cheeks.
“You and my sister might be meant for each other,” I add. “Stick together, okay?”
Then, in a flash, I’m picturing my two favorite women surrounded by rabid men, rubbing their crotch through their jeans, leering at Carter and Astor, playing grab-ass with them.
It elicits a low growl, loud enough that Carter tears her attention from Lily to me.
“Any problems, you call me. Understand?” I say.
“Of course,” Carter says, brows furrowed. “We’re big girls, Locke. We can handle ourselves.”
I picture another man cupping her ass, pulling it against his groin. And I do not like it. Even if she wants it from some other dude—a guy like Pierce—I won’t accept it.
“Promise me you’ll text. Otherwise, I’m putting Lily in her car seat and coming to spy on you.”
Carter rolls her eyes, and it’s such an oh, Dad, stop being annoying response that another rumbling warning comes from my chest.